


The Tomorrow With You (Sylvix Week 2019)

by Kabieee



Series: Sylvix Week 2019! [4]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Blow Jobs, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Bottoming, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, Masturbation, Morning After, Morning Sex, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Sex Toys, Shower Sex, Slow Burn, Tender Sex, Thanksgiving, and they were roomates, dedue gets happiness in this au, oh my god they were roommates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2020-12-20 18:21:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 50,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21061112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kabieee/pseuds/Kabieee
Summary: "And they were roomates!" - Ashe, probably"oh my GOD, we're roommates" - felix shortly after





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Natendo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natendo/gifts).

> This is for Sylvix Week 2019 day 4: roommate au! i originally wanted this to just be a massive oneshot but I work full time at a desk job so TwT this will be like a 2 or 3 parter. Huge thanks to my s-support, muse, and friend @Natendo! I love you!!!!  
ALSO if you can spot the dragon quest builders 2 reference we're automatically best friends!

"You promise this guy isn't weird?"  
  
"I mean... he's weird. But so are you. And you'll be homeless if you don't at least meet him for dinner. Because you can't live with me."  
  
Ashe is right, both about him being weird and also homeless if this roommate situation doesn't pan out. Sylvain will be damned before going back to his parents, and Miklan would probably kill him if he showed up on his doorstep. Ashe's apartment is hardly one bedroom, a small studio where Sylvain's current crash is on a couch whose back is against the side of the fridge.  
  
"How long have you known him?" Sylvain asks, noticing a small blush on his friend's face at the inquiry.  
  
"We met our first year of college. He... helped me through a lot."  
  
Sylvain figured Ashe was talking about when he came out, and his own stomach tightened into a knot. Ashe was currently helping him through the same process, only Sylvain was not taking it as well. Nobody knew besides the two of them, or at least Sylvain hoped.  
  
"I promise that has nothing to do with why I'm suggesting you live together," Ashe recovered quickly, noticing the look Sylvain was giving him. "But it might help to get to know someone like that. Someone who's not me," he laughed softly, looking down and folding his hands in his lap.  
  
Sylvain's stomach relaxed slightly knowing his best friend was probably right. His anxiety over coming to terms with his sexuality stemmed from having very little exposure to the concept as a whole. He had grown up with loud jocks in school and in childhood, never anybody his parents would have considered "sensitive". He had no idea how to act now that he realized his horny self was attracted to men, and goddamn if they weren't everywhere in this town.  
  
"What was his name again?"  
  
"It's Felix. Felix Fraldarius. And he's coming over in about 15 minutes so you might want to comb your hair or put pants on."  
  
"Ashe, what the fuck!" Sylvain hopped up and nearly tripped as he attempted to get into the bathroom. His friend chuckled as he brushed his hair, sticking up in every possible direction regardless.  
  
"I knew you'd chicken out if I left you to your own devices. I'm sorry..."  
  
Sylvain peered at him with narrowed eyes. "You think you're so sweet, Ashe... but I know how dastardly you are."  
  
The sudden knock at the door made both of them jump. Ashe smiled innocently at Sylvain and went to open it. The redhead ducked into his friend's room and desperately searched for a pair of jeans to throw on so this Felix guy didn't see his obnoxious cartoon cow briefs -- Jesus, why was he like this...  
  
"Felix! Hello!" Ashe's voice was higher than normal.  
  
_Fuck... if he's already nervous, then I am too!_ Sylvain grabbed a pair of black jeans, gave them that good old reliable sniff, and hastily pulled them on as he heard his friend mentioning him out in the living room. He could hear Felix's voice, it was low and deep. And incredibly sexy.  
  
_Fuck._  
  
Sylvain opened the bedroom door and stepped out, trying to play it cool. Hopefully Felix was ugly and his face didn't match his voice.  
  
That was not the case.  
  
Before him stood a slim man of average height, slightly taller than Ashe. Sylvain had at least a head on him though. He envisioned himself wrapping his arms around him at some point and resting his head on his and twitched a little bit.  
  
"Hey, nice to meet you! I'm Sylvain." He offered his hand for Felix to shake. He was greeted with a tighter grip than what he anticipated. Another twitch.  
  
"I'm Felix. Nice to meet you too." God, his voice was so smooth. It sounded like he should be on radio or read audio books. Should Sylvain tell him that? He's sure he hears it all the time. Fuck it.  
  
"You should read audio books, man," he smiled nervously, rubbing the back of his head without realizing it. Could he be any more transparent about how hot he thought Felix was?  
  
Felix smiled at him and he felt his heart rate shoot up. He could get used to seeing that smile.  
  
They went down to the lobby and into the parking deck to Sylvain's car, piling in and talking cheerfully. He learned that Felix actually worked with kids at the hospital in speech therapy, which was probably the coolest and sweetest thing he'd ever heard. He was cool and calm. And it made Sylvain think he was way out of his league.  
  
At the restaurant, Ashe made them sit beside each other in the booth opposite him. Crafty bastard. Felix seemed to be completely unbothered, and every time his elbow or hand touched him he felt flushed.  
  
"Where's your place?"  
  
"It's close to the hospital in midtown. Ashe told me your job is near there as well?"  
  
"Yeah! Well, my side gig is down that way." After his falling out with his ex-girlfriend, he'd been working in a restaurant to keep his mind off the mess that his life had become.  
  
They talked about rent, how long the lease was for, et cetera. Felix had a great hookup and managed to get a top floor unit with a spectacular view of the city, which he showed pictures of to them on his phone.  
  
"Is that your dog?!" Felix was showing Sylvain the back porch when he saw a very cute mutt sitting on a chair.  
  
"Ah. Shit." Felix looked quickly, but very strained, at Ashe before deleting the photo altogether. "No. She was my ex's." The pain in Felix's voice could be felt by Sylvain, and he could see the way his hands gripped his phone sadly as he kept scrolling through pictures. He wanted to hug him, but since it was their literal first meeting he thought it better to shake his head and apologize.  
  
"It's okay. This is my baby," he followed up somewhat happier, swiping quickly until he came to a picture of an extremely lanky Siamese. Its eyes were crossed and one of its ears was docked, but the smile on Felix's face when he looked at it made Sylvain's break out into a huge smile. "Her name is Barbara."  
  
"Well damn, I have to move in now! Look at those legs!!"  
  
He heard Ashe suppress a laugh, so he shot a quick look over to his best friend. He must have seen Sylvain ogling Felix on their way to the car and into the restaurant. He aimed a kick at his foot under the table but his friend was quicker, making him hit the bottom of the booth instead.  
  
"To new roommates!" He proposed a toast with his beer in the air, followed by Felix and Sylvain.  
  
Sylvain noticed Felix kept eye contact as they clinked the bottles together, finishing his in one go.  
  
What the fuck was he getting himself into?  
  


* * *

  
  
"He's still trying to get more comfortable with the idea of being gay."  
  
Ashe and Felix sat outside the hospital on their break. It was drizzling, so they were bundled up in coats on the least wet bench under an awning.  
  
"I see. He's one of those 'aggressively trying to like women again' types, isn't he." It was less a question and more statement of how he felt based on their conversation thus far. Ashe shifted uncomfortably, but eventually nodded. It was rare that he saw his best friend come home before 3 a.m. because he was usually out messing around with one of his coworkers or a patron from the evening. He never came home happy, because he heard the dejected way he'd throw himself onto the couch or the uncorking of a few bottles of wine.  
  
"I... have tried to talk to him about it. I really have. His parents really messed up his head."  
  
Felix just nodded silently, looking out at the light sheet of rain picking up on the pavement.  
  
"But he really is good, Felix. I don't want you to think of him as a project. I only suggested him living with you because of the messed up living situation of mine..." Ashe seemed timid and nervous about what Felix was going to say, so the navy haired man gave him a one armed hug and shook his head.  
  
"I'm willing to help him because he's your friend, Ashe. But only as much as he'll let me." Felix smiled softly at him and it lit up his face.  
  
Mere blocks from the hospital, Sylvain was slowly moving around his new room, deciding if he actually needed all this stuff or if he should just donate it all. Barbara had already warmed up to him and was snoozing on his bed, long legs slowly kneading his comforter. He already had at least 85 pictures of her on his phone that he was going to show Felix as soon as he got home.  
  
The apartment was nice, not extravagantly boogie, but nicer than any place Sylvain had lived since he'd left his parents house. The walls were all a light gray color with dark gray hardwoods (real hardwoods, not linoleum, Felix had very quietly gushed over). The living room and bedrooms had a similar dark carpet, and every room was very nicely decorated. Felix sadly told him his ex had designed it, but since he'd paid for it all, kept it out of spite.  
  
Sylvain's room was on the other side of the unit from Felix's, with both the living/dining area and kitchen separating them. The walls seemed adequately thick as well, so as Sylvain broke down boxes, a familiar itch could be felt that he needed to scratch.  
  
He delicately picked up Barbara and put her on the couch, always feeling like a freak if he did things of this nature in front of animals, and locked his door. He stripped down and retrieved his phone from the charger, settling anxiously down under the covers.  
  
With a hitch in his throat he went deep into the media folder on his phone, scrolling through ridiculous porn titles until he found a recent addition to his collection. He mused to himself that their attempt at a plot could actually be an entertaining story were it not for the insane amount of dicks and cum shots, and digressed.  
  
Thinking about the star of the clip alone made him hard, so when the slim man took the first dick of this particular gang bang into his mouth, Sylvain began to jerk himself. He closed his eyes and listened to the sounds coming from his phone, imaging to himself about whether Felix was quiet or loud during sex. He rarely raised his voice and was never high strung, so Sylvain thought it'd be hot if if he went wild while being fucked. But what if he was quiet? Sylvain was loud...  
  
Fuck, this actor is too good at what he does. Sylvain opened his eyes to what was probably his favorite part of the entire clip, which was a POV shot of the man fucking his ass while three more stood over him, his hands on the two on the side's dicks and his mouth around the one in the middle. The top is so vocal and hungry; his hands furiously grip at the bottom's hips and dick as he fucks up into him like his life depends on it.  
  
"Felix...." his roommates name somehow finds its way out of his mouth and he frustratingly jacks himself harder and faster, turning onto his side and throwing his phone onto the bed to listen as he gets closer. He imagines the slender man fucking him down into his mattress, grabbing his hair, maybe choking him... Jesus where did that come from?  
  
"Felix, Felix, Felix...! Feli-fuck!" Steadily he repeats his name, milking his dick until the dam broke and it shot out all over his hand and sheets. His hips bucked wildly and he moaned pathetically into his pillow, finishing himself off mentally by imagining Felix either pulling out and shoving his dick in his mouth or just ramming into him until he filled his ass with his cum.  
  
"Why does he make me into such a slut," he breathed out loud, stars in his vision as his breathing slowly returned to normal. He heard Barbara meowing out in the living room, now feeling guilty for putting her out so he could fucking masturbate to her owner fucking him. He hastily stood up and grabbed a tissue to wipe himself off, jumping at the over stimulation. He blushed, ripped his previously fresh sheets off the bed and bundled them up to throw in the wash.  
  
Sylvain threw on some gray sweatpants that hung just below his hips and scampered out of his room with the defiled bedding in his hands. Felix stood at the kitchen counter with two lattes and a shit eating grin on his face.  
  
Had he heard him?  
  
There was no way he didn't hear him.  
  
But had he heard him saying his name? Sylvain's entire body grew hot as he saw Felix. His roommate smiled and motioned to the coffees, which were placed next to a package.  
  
"Mail for you," Felix said calmly. "From the sound of it though, you may not need it."  
  
_Fuck._ He absolutely heard.  
  
"Hey, I'm so sorry, I just--"  
  
"Calm down, you live here too." Felix was smiling very gently and genuinely at him, which only deepened the heavy pit in his stomach. He tossed the sheets back in his room, ashamedly crossed to the kitchen sink to wash his hands, and picked up the warm coffee Felix had brought him.  
  
"Thanks. Wait." His eyes shot down to the package and then back to Felix, who had resumed his shit eating smirk. "What do you mean, 'I won't need this'?"  
  
"You have good taste. I order from them all the time." Felix simply sipped his coffee and tilted his head knowingly. Barbara jumped up on the counter and butted her head against him to pet her.  
  
"I-- No-- This is. Not what you think it is." Sylvain grabbed the box and peered at the return address, stomach feeling better when the sender line just said "BD Industries".  
  
"I bet you took advantage of the sale. If not, you should next time," Felix saw right through him, and it made Sylvain lightheaded.  
  
Sylvain gasped and set the box back down on the counter, putting his head in his hands. Felix laughed in his cool voice, nearly doubling over as the other man's shoulders trembled.  
  
"Ashe told me. That. They were good to start with...." Sylvain probably could have just thrown up on the floor right then and there, but felt a tender hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Well, Ashe knows about them because of me. So you're welcome." Still smiling, Felix's fingers found his chin and gently brought it up away from his hands. "Don't be embarrassed."  
  
Sylvain just nodded, but smiled back at Felix and stared at the package.  
  
"I want to see what you got." Sylvain let out a tiny scream. Felix reached for some scissors in a nearby drawer and handed them to Sylvain so he could cut it open. The redhead got all of the annoying tape off the seams before stopping, glancing back up at Felix.  
  
"I'm an amateur. And a tender man."  
  
Felix snorted, wordlessly motioning for him to continue. Sylvain took a deep breath and pulled the dildo out of the box, removing its plastic wrapping and slapping it balls down onto the counter. He sort of couldn't stop himself from giggling when it flopped around slightly. He had picked a softer firmness because, as he said, he was a tender man.  
  
"Good choice. Chance never fails to please," Felix said with a wink, admiring the sparkly pinks, blues, and purples swirled together in the silicone. "It's so pretty."  
  
Sylvain could not believe this was one of their first conversations while living together. Had he hit his head? Was this a bad dream?  
  
Whatever it was, he felt more comfortable than he had in his entire life. His new friend had seen him in two pretty embarrassing situations in the past 10 minutes alone, but he wasn't making him feel bad. He could tell he wasn't one to do so. Besides Ashe, Felix had never known someone to be so kind.  
  
**  
  
Sylvain changed his hours at his side job so he could be home in the evenings with Felix. At first he fibbed about them doing it to him to make him want to quit, but quickly admitted to his roommate that he thought he was fun and wanted to hang out with him more. Felix replied by letting him know that he knew, and that he also knew that Sylvain was more transparent than glass. This made Sylvain pout, which Felix could not get enough of.  
  
A couple months into living together, they started planning grocery trips and meals with each other. Felix knew to get the specific cheese Sylvain loved, and Sylvain knew to keep spices on hand should their take out not be sufficient. They had 'their' store, and also the 'bad' one they'd never step foot in again. Sylvain drove Felix to work every morning and picked him up every evening despite the relatively short walk between it and their apartment.  
  
Sylvain brought his last female companion to their home the first week after he moved in. It had been messy, emotional and frustrating for Felix and embarrassing for Sylvain. The woman had sensed something was going on between the two of them as she and Sylvain had eaten their dinner. All Felix had done was greet him warmly and her less so, but it had honestly not been as targeted as she made it out to be.  
  
That night had ended with Sylvain piss drunk on the wine he'd bought for them, crying on Felix about how hard he was fighting his true self. Felix might have actually cried too were it not for Sylvain in his lap, hugging his legs tightly. The gray sweatpants had made a comeback that night, and he saw his roommate hard as a rock beneath them when he passed out. Damn. The man was packing.  
  
Felix had put him to bed though, managing to heave him onto his back and bring him to his room. He had put rose petals on the comforter and floor, which made Felix's heart ache with guilty joy that the woman had left, despite her slurs and yelling. Despite his desire to curl up under the covers with Sylvain, he had simply turned him on his side with a small trash can by the bed. He placed a Gatorade and some ibuprofen on his nightstand and cracked the door so Barbara could go in and snuggle him in the morning. With a longing glance back at his sleeping roommate, he returned to bed alone and used a toy to fuck himself thinking about him before passing out himself.  
  
It was now October, and their apartment constantly smelled like cinnamon and apple candles, and Sylvain nearly always had a cheesy Halloween movie on the TV. He had actually quit his side job now, instead fully focusing on his freelance writing during the day so he could relax with Felix at night. Barbara always rushed to him when they got home, so he declared himself Felix's unofficial house husband. Felix wasn't complaining.  
  
On a gloomy, rainy Friday morning, Felix greeted Sylvain from the kitchen table when he rolled out of bed around ten. The redhead was shirtless, which made his father Rodrigue, the man sat opposite him, laugh awkwardly.  
  
"Um. Hi. Good morning. I'm Sylvain, and I promise I own shirts." He was currently without one, and was wearing those damn gray sweatpants that made Felix want to rip them off and fuck him. His dad must have sensed the slight shift in his seat, because he laughed as soon as Sylvain disappeared back into his room.  
  
"He's handsome," Rodrigue noted, nodding approvingly.  
  
"We're not together. It's not like that," Felix replied sadly and quietly, swatting at his dad's hand. Sylvain had put on a shirt quickly and rejoined them.  
  
"You're off today!" Sylvain realized he sounded a little too excited at that notion.  
  
"Yes, all my patients canceled on me. They didn't want to pay me to shuffle paperwork around," Felix laughed hollowly. "I figured I'd bring my old man around to see the place, and to meet my roommate, of course," he added slyly.  
  
Sylvain had mostly trained himself to keep from blushing wherever Felix spoke, but the sentiment behind him introducing his father to him was not lost on him.  
  
"I'm Rodrigue, pleased to meet you." The older man stood and came around the table with his arm extended, a pleasant smile on his face. Sylvain noticed under his rolled up sleeves that his arms were adorned with fierce looking tattoos, and he had to physically steel his legs so they didn't buckle. "Felix has done nothing but talk about you. The good, bad, and the ugly."  
  
Sylvain's heart visibly skipped a beat as his gaze whipped around Rodrigue to Felix, who glared at his father and rolled his eyes.  
  
"He thinks he's the funniest man alive, Syl. I apologize for him wracking you with anxiety," Felix bit venomously as his dad erupted in laughter. Rodrigue pulled Sylvain into a hug and apologized over and over, chuckling each time he saw the ghost of the end of Sylvain's life on his face.  
  
"It's not often my lets me meet his friends. I'm very happy to meet you and want to say thank you for putting up with him." Rodrigue said kindly, patting Sylvain's shoulder.  
  
"Thanks Dad. He's the last one you'll ever meet."  
  
There was definitely a double entendre to his words, and he noticed as soon as he said them. His face flushed identically to Sylvain's, which Rodrigue noticed but declined to comment on. Instead he hummed knowingly and clapped his son on the back.  
  
"Let's do breakfast. My treat."  
  
"Go change, Syl. Knowing where he'll take us, they'll refuse to serve you. You look messy," Felix joked playfully, scanning his roommate up and down. When his eyes lingered a little too long on those fucking gray sweatpants, Sylvain smirked and made sure to flex and swing his hips as he returned to his room to change.  
  
"Not a word, old man. Not a word."  
  
Rodrigue just smiled at his son. He had not seen him this happy in years.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How does Felix have so many negative people in his life? Sylvain wishes to be a light in the darkness for the man who he's quickly falling head over heels for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like my age shows when I write this roommate AU because there's lots of domestic shit my old ass just... pines for...

"Jeez... you weren't kidding when you said they'd throw me out!"  
  
Sylvain and Felix stepped off the elevator with Rodrigue to see a glamorous marble facade of what he assumed to be the restaurant they were going to eat at. The building downtown had to be at least 50 stories high, and was slim and sleek in all onyx. Rodrigue chuckled but led them inside, waving to the host like they were old friends. Felix typed away at an email on his phone, seemingly used to his dad going over the top like this even on everyday occasions. It felt like though coming to this place in particular made him uneasy, based on how Sylvain saw him chewing the inside of his lip.  
  
"You okay, Fe?" He asked, zapping his friend out of his concentration.  
  
"I-- Yeah. I'm fine. This place just has a few unpleasant memories. I don't think he knew," he mumbled, motioning to his father.  
  
"Do you want to go somewhere else? I doubt he'd mind if you said something," Sylvain offered warmly, rocking back on his feet with his hands in his pockets.  
  
"I think it's too late for that now unfortunately..." Felix replied dryly, forcing a smile as his father motioned for them to follow him. He pocketed his phone and, without knowing it, grabbed Sylvain's hand to lead him inside the restaurant. They were halfway to the table before he realized what he'd done, and whipped around to a smirking Sylvain with a small gasp.  
  
"I wasn't complaining!" The redhead cooed as Felix dropped it with a blush and nervous chuckle. "We can hold hands under the table if ya want, Felix~"  
  
"Shut up," Felix replied, pretending to scowl at him. When Sylvain pouted, they snorted with laughs.  
  
"How do you expect to keep him around when you verbally abuse him, son?"  
  
"He's sick, I guess. He doesn't mind when I'm mean to him. Someone has to be," Felix said flatly, a small smile hiding on his lips.  
  
They ordered bottomless mimosas and the set meal. Sylvain immediately wanted to marry Felix just so he could be Rodrigue's son-in-law. The man was kind and gentle, yet gave Felix shit like the world would end if he didn't. It was a gentle teasing though, and it usually meant he defended Sylvain for any transgression his son made against him. Felix wouldn't pass the salt? This is why his student loan debt wasn't forgiven by the hospital. Sylvain needed a refill and the waiter wasn't called for him? This is why Rodrigue won't ever have grandkids. Felix maintained a genuine smile throughout it all too, which let Sylvain know this was all just fun to them. He envied their relationship.  
  
"How did you two meet?" Felix's dad asked two mimosas in. Was he out to his dad? Sylvain wasn't even out to himself technically. The mild panic must have shown on his face because his friend responded quickly yet believably.  
  
"He's Ashe's friend. We needed new roommates around the same time." He added the second thought somewhat quietly, and it just then occurred to Sylvain he had never actually asked what had happened with that person.  
  
Rodrigue reached over and patted his son's hand sympathetically.  
  
"Don't think about him, Felix."  
  
Sylvain's face flushed with a realization and envy that he had never felt before: Rodrigue was an accepting parent. Part of his severing of ties with his own parents was them learning of his secret attractions, and practically disowning him on the spot. He didn't know Felix's story or if their relationship had been tested because of it, but damn it if he didn't want to learn.  
  
"Thanks, Dad," Felix replied solemnly, smiling weakly at Sylvain. "I promise I'm not a crybaby," he laughed hastily, downing the rest of his mimosa and pouring another.  
  
"Even if you were, I'd still love you!" Sylvain meant it too, but tried to put on a casual air of purely friendship aligned thoughts to try and keep his heart rate down. Felix blushed and drank his third drink more quickly.  
  
They ate their breakfast in pleasant conversation and more roasting of Felix. Everything was going great, until Felix saw someone in the front of the restaurant and let his fork clatter loudly to his plate. Sylvain jerked his head up to see a tall brunette man standing next to a petite blonde woman waiting to be seated. She was laughing, she looked pleasant enoug, but the man straight up looked as though he'd hit her if she said the wrong thing. Sylvain glanced at Felix to see him with wild eyes and a bead of sweat forming on his face.  
  
"Of all the fucking days," Felix whispered angrily. His breathing was bordering on anxious.  
  
"Is that him?" Sylvain asked hollowly, looking back at the man with an unspoken hatred. Felix didn't have to answer him out loud to confirm by the way his breath hitched in his throat.  
  
Thankfully, the host lead the man and his companion to the other side of the restaurant. As soon as they were seated, Felix finally breathed and asked them to leave immediately. His dad called over their waiter and asked for the check, telling the other two he'd meet them downstairs in the lobby.  
  
"Thanks for feeding me, Mr. Fraldarius!" Sylvain said with a quick smile, nearly having to fun after Felix. Outside the restaurant, his friend was nearly punching the elevator button.  
  
"Felix..." Sylvain gently put his hand on his friends and squeezed it, looking sadly down into his copper eyes. The navy haired man was fighting either a scream or tears or both, and frightfully squeezed him back. When the elevator door opened, he pulled him inside and once again slammed the button for the lobby.  
  
"Sylvain, I'm sorry about that," he said quietly as the car started descending. His fingers still held onto the others, something he wasn't pretending to hate like earlier. He actually moved closer to the taller man and was just about laying on his chest as he steadied his breathing. "I have my masters in psychology but can't see that fucking person without having a panic attack," he said angrily, gritting his teeth and closing his eyes tightly.  
  
Sylvain went to hug him and he jumped, but quickly backtracked and eagerly accepted with a flushed face.  
  
"What did he do to you?" He asked with a broken heart, wrapping his arms down around his shoulder blades and grasping him tightly.  
  
"That's for another day. A day when I've had more than three mimosas." Felix muttered, returning the hug in full and stepping away from Sylvain just as the elevator doors drifted open.  
  
"I'm always here if you need to talk, Felix," Sylvain said reassuringly, pulling him in for another hug. The cold October air whipped up a strong breeze around them, making him instinctively bury his nose against his friend's neck.  
  
"Thanks, Sylvain."  
  
**  
  
Sylvain vowed to make that upcoming week one of relaxation and healing for his friend, who remained a bit shaken from their encounter with his ex. On Monday, he made sure to wake up before noon so he could fix Felix lunch and bring it to work for him. He prepared his favorite chicken vindaloo and packed it up in their 'good Tupperware', the fancy glass set with black lids. Those fucking beauties were nearly the hallmark of their kitchen. They were beautiful. They'd gotten them on sale. And they'd picked them out together.  
  
Sylvain put on a plain black button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and once again tried to tame his flippy hair. No dice. After a little bit of product, it resembled the hair of someone who had been awake for more than an hour.  
  
He loaded up in his car and drove to the hospital, not wanting all of his hard work on his hair destroyed by the wind. Once inside, he searched the pediatric directory for Felix's area. A few pretty nurses and visitors checked him out and offered to help. That was typical. He needed their help, if he was being honest, but just smiled them off and politely refused.  
  
Up on the fifth floor, he stepped off the elevator and went to the welcome desk for a visitor badge. This was the first time he'd come here to meet Felix directly.  
  
"Hello. I'm here to see Felix Fraldarius?" He smiled, jotting his name down on the sign in sheet. The nurse printed him a sticker and pointed him to the left. He anxiously walked down the hallway, giving friendly smiles to all that he passed. The kids here didn't look too sick, which he was silently thankful for. He couldn't imagine how Felix would feel if he was surrounded by that all day. Sylvain knew it would depress the shit out of him.  
  
He came to a door that had a small silver nameplate on the wall beside it. With butterflies in his stomach, he knocked, holding their lunch up with a smile.  
  
An older man opened the door, frowning slightly.  
  
"Can I help you?" As if Sylvain didn't have Felix's name typed out in bold font on his visitor sticker.  
  
"I'm here to see Felix." Sylvain couldn't help but say it a bit sassily, not liking the way this guy just immediately gave him attitude. He heard shuffling behind the man and grinned like a fool when he saw his friend coming forth in his black scrubs. "Hey Fe!"  
  
"Sylvain, oh my god--" Felix stood up from the desk he'd been sitting at and smiled in surprise at Sylvain. "What are you doing here?" He hugged him briskly and noticed the food.  
  
"I wanted to bring you lunch today! Forget that crummy hospital food," Sylvain grinned.  
  
"You are too sweet. Ogden, this is my friend and roommate, Sylvain. Sylvain, this is our head physical therapist here in the pediatric unit, Dr. Hammond Ogden."  
  
Sylvain shook the doctor's hand despite his continuing frown, trying to lighten the mood with a laugh. "I brought plenty of food to share, doc!"  
  
"That won't be necessary. Felix, I'd like that paperwork submitted before you take your lunch." He peered at Felix angrily before leaving the room and slamming the door.  
  
"What. In the hell was that guy's problem?!" Sylvain turned his body to Felix with his mouth open wide.  
  
"You interrupted him inviting me to dinner," Felix replied venomously. Sylvain then noticed how red his friend's face was with anger.  
  
"Excuse me?" Sylvain looked back at the slammed door. "Wasn't that a wedding ring on his finger?"  
  
"Yeah. Ogden likes to keep things classy around here..." Felix sighed and pulled out a chair in front of the desk for Sylvain, smiling weakly.  
  
"Felix, you let me know the next time he makes you uncomfortable. I mean it." Sylvain had set the food down and his hands had found their way to Felix's. "Promise me."  
  
Felix's eyes blinked furiously. "Wow, Sylvain." He cleared his throat and hesitated for a moment before bringing his friend's hands up to his cheek. "All of my coworkers tell me I should feel flattered because he's the boss."  
  
Sylvain was at a loss. Why did such an amazing person have so many negative people in his life? Felix didn't deserve any of it. With the great work he did at this hospital every day, the last thing he needed was some prick hotshot making him nervous.  
  
He stared worriedly down into Felix's eyes and squeezed his hands again.  
  
"I promise I'll tell you," his friend replied, breathing out slowly.  
  
Had the door been locked, Felix would have kissed Sylvain. Nobody had ever agreed that Ogden was a problem before. Nobody had ever asked him if he even wanted the attention. Nobody except the man who he knew understood him better than anyone else.  
  
"Thank you. Now let's eat this food!" Sylvain winked happily at him and began to serve it on disposable plates he’d brought. "What time do you get off tonight? I couldn't remember if Monday or Tuesday was your weird day..."  
  
Felix numbly settled into his desk chair and watched lovingly as Sylvain served him the food he'd made. It smelled delicious, and the spice coming from the vindaloo sauce nearly brought tears to his eyes.  
  
"I wanted to take you to this great coffee shop a few exits up! They have this savory bread that's to die for."  
  
"I'm off at five today. That sounds nice."  
  
Sylvain showed Felix his collection of pictures of Barbara on his phone while they ate. He had even bought her a comically oversized cushion, which a picture that showed her sprawled out on it in the middle of the sofa.  
  
"If you spoil her, it'll go to her head," Felix said with a furrowed brow.  
  
"But she's our baby!" Sylvain stopped, cheeks pink and eyes wide. "I mean... she's your baby. You should spoil her too!"  
  
Felix opened his mouth to agree that yes, Barbara was _their_ baby, but there was a knock at the door.  
  
"Come in," Felix rushed, eyes darting away from Sylvain and towards the door.  
  
It was Ashe. He had a stethoscope draped around his neck and a large pile of charts in his arms.  
  
"Sylvain! What a nice surprise!" He unceremoniously dropped the folders on Felix's desk and hugged him. Sylvain heard an annoyed click from Felix.  
  
"Hey buddy! Glad to see you're keeping our sweet Felix busy."  
  
"Heh, this is Ogden, not me," Ashe replied sadly, shooting an apologetic look at Felix. Sylvain's expression hardened. "He said he wants these done before the meeting at three..."  
  
Felix groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked forlornly at Sylvain and dropped his shoulders in defeat.  
  
"I have to kick you out after we're done eating," he said quietly. "HIPAA..."  
  
Sylvain nodded with a smile. It sucked, but seeing Felix so dedicated to his work despite how much crap he went through made his heart quicken. It was a strange feeling...  
  
"Stop by and see me on your way out, Sylvain! If you want to, that is," Ashe laughed quietly.  
  
"Wouldn't miss you for the world buddy!" Sylvain replied, waving at him as he left the office. "Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked Felix, looking at the large stack of charts then back to his friend.  
  
"Unfortunately not. This is what I get for refusing," he said darkly. His words felt like a knife in Sylvain's chest.  
  
They finished their lunch and Felix walked him to Ashe's corner of the ward. Their friend was in a room with a long viewing panel in the front, so Sylvain could see him crouched down at the end of a short walkway that had hand rails down its sides. A little girl with bandages on her hands and calves was holding onto them on the opposite side of Ashe.  
  
Felix knocked on the window and smiled. Ashe lit up and held up a finger to the little girl, rushing over to the door.  
  
"Felix, it's Rosemary! You've just got to come in here for this, I know she's going to do it!" Ashe pulled him inside the room and lead him over to the end of the hand rails. Sylvain saw the little girl's face illuminate when she saw Felix, and likewise for his friend as he crouched down beside Ashe.  
  
Rosemary slowly but surely put one foot in front of the other. She seemed like she was in a moderate amount of pain, but with Felix and Ashe cheering her on patiently she kept going. At the end of the walkway, her arms shakily came off the rails. She took five steps straight into Felix's outstretched arms, and he caught her with the biggest smile Sylvain had ever seen from him. Ashe was crying, Felix and Rosemary were crying, and before he knew it, Sylvain was crying too.  
  
His chest ached as his friends cheered over the little girl, hugging her and giving her high fives. Ashe had returned her to her wheelchair, but she looked as though she wanted to do it for them all over again. Sylvain clutched his chest and smiled like a moron at Ashe and Felix.  
  
He was in love with his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! my giveaway on twitter (@setethstiddies) has about a week left if you'd like to enter~


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix and Sylvain get invited to a Halloween party, watch a terrible movie together, and hit the first milestone in breaking the boundaries as friends to lovers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of this fic was inspired by some beautiful art by Riz: https://twitter.com/rizurin/status/1186296494749442048. Thank you for your galaxy brain, queen <3  
I also talk about my favorite bad movie in this chapter. sylvain would absolutely like terrible movies, send tweet. but felix loves him anyway.   
Natalie once again gave me so much help and inspiration on this fic; she is my rock and my love!! thank you so much dear <3 I hope you enjoy!

Later, in the coffee shop, Sylvain gushed to his roommate about what had happened at the hospital.

  
"I just can't believe she did it," he said happily, furiously sipping on his iced drink to fight more tears.

  
"I can. Rosemary has been there every day for the last year and a half. She was in a terrible car accident. It killed her sister and mom, now it's just her and her dad," Felix replied wearily yet smiling, nursing his warm hot chocolate.

  
"Jesus... How do you and Ashe do it? Stay around such sadness, I mean."

  
"Nothing feels better than to see them overcome whatever obstacle they're fighting."

  
Sylvain actually gently slammed his head down on the table, clenching his fist and reaching for Felix's hands with the other. "You're the most incredible person I know."

  
Felix smiled so wide his teeth showed. Sylvain twitched like he had the first time he'd met him.

  
Felix and Sylvain's phone buzzed simultaneously. Felix unlocked his to find a social media invite to a Halloween party hosted by Ashe.

  
"Oh my god. We're doing a duo costume for sure," Sylvain smirked, hitting accept without even looking at the details. It was two weeks away, Felix saw, but his eyes anxiously searched for where Ashe would even be holding it. His apartment barely bit the three of them to just sit around and watch TV.

  
"Oh thank god. It's at Byleth and Seteth's house," Felix breathed out, recognizing their suburban address. Ashe had jokingly set the location as "The Spooky Church", to which Seteth had already commented 'they are only decorations'.

  
"Byleth and Seteth? Old pals of yours?"

  
Felix nodded, "they were both professors of mine in my grad program." He too accepted the invitation, peering at who else had RSVP'd. Seemed like Ashe wanted to get the entire crew back together.  
"Ahh, older friends I see," Sylvain winked. Felix chuckled and shook his head.

  
"The coolest older people. Cooler than you, even." Sylvain tore off a piece of the bread they'd ordered and threw it at him.

  
"I'm telling Barbara you slandered me."

  
**

  
"What is the worst, and by worst, I mean best, thing we could dress up as for that party?"

  
Felix looked up from the pasta he was stirring on the stove. He thought Sylvain had been joking, much to his dismay, but by the way he had intently been searching for couple's costume ideas on his phone since they'd gotten home said otherwise.

  
"I'm surprised you don't want to get one of those ridiculous horse costumes where one of us has to be the ass," laughed Felix. Sylvain's eyes got a little too wide. "_No_."

  
"Damn... we'd get to snuggle in the costume though!"

  
Felix was glad that the wall between the kitchen and the living room shielded the dark red that had stolen his complexion.

  
"Oh my god."

  
Felix peered around the arch into the living room at Sylvain, who's mouth was open wide. His friend turned the screen of his phone to him. Pictured was a man and a woman, the former in a comically oversized carrot costume and the latter in a sexy bunny suit.

  
"We're doing this. You cannot say no to me. Or Barbara." The redhead held the kitty's face up next to his and pouted.

  
"I don't know if Barbara approves of this." By the way she lazily let Sylvain coddle her and hold her however he pleased, he knew his own words were false.

  
"Barbara wants us to be the absolute sexiest we can be!" Sylvain stood up and joined him in the kitchen, leaning up against the island opposite the stove. Felix noticed a darker version of the gray sweatpants from before on him, these somehow hanging looser around his hips than the other ones. How the fuck did these pants keep getting looser yet fitted on this man?

  
Felix forced his eyes away from the buffet leaning against the kitchen island. Why bother cooking? He thought to make that joke aloud, but got too embarrassed and just continued stirring the pasta.

  
"I never thought the day would come when I'd want to wear a bunny suit..." Sylvain mumbled, his own cheeks pink. Felix could see him ordering the set of costumes already when he snuck a glance back at him. Holy shit. He was serious. Serious serious. Felix thought about his friend in the bunny suit, then thought about throwing his fist in the boiling water because now he had a hard-on that the other would surely see as soon as he turned around.

  
Sylvain's chest was broad. His body was just... long, though, and the high cut of the bottom part of the suit would surely just... perfectly line his hips and tops of his thighs. Was he going to add the thigh highs? Felix certainly fucking hoped he would. A shaky breath betrayed him and he had to cough quickly into the crook of his arm.

  
"We're going to look amazing," Felix laughed gently, turning his torso so his groin stayed hidden. His pants were almost unbearably tight now. If him wearing a stupid carrot costume got Sylvain to be his sexy bunny, he'd do it.

  
"What a better way to meet all your friends!" Sylvain said, laughing out loud and poking Felix's cheek as he walked over to the fridge to grab wine for them.

  
Felix's eyes grew a little wider at the notion. It occurred to him that Sylvain really only knew Ashe, since nearly everyone else was someone he'd known since undergrad. How would he introduce Sylvain? He wanted to as the obvious, but couldn't bring himself to even discuss it with the other. He couldn't bear to see Sylvain laugh awkwardly and say they were just close friends and should stay that way. What if he was attracted to a different kind of guy?

  
"I hope they like me..." He heard the other say somewhat quietly. Felix turned fully towards him, aching to walk up behind him, bury his face into his back, and hug him around his waist. Instead, he squeezed squeezed his shoulder, quickly turning his back to him after. He didn't see Sylvain's hand reaching up to return the squeeze, or the slightly hurt way he cast his gaze downward.

  
**

  
It was movie night, so Felix helped his friend serve their pasta on cheap plastic plates and haul them out to the living room to put on TV trays. As the redhead brought in the wine and glasses, he gently screamed at Barbara to spook her off Felix's. Her eyes grew wide and she screamed back, winding her way in between his legs.

  
"I cannot believe my daughter loves you more than me," Felix clutched his chest and steadied himself on the arch that lead from the kitchen to the living room. "You don't even feed her human food..."

  
Sylvain shrugged with a big smile, setting the glasses and bottle down on the coffee table. "She can't love me like I love you though!" He winked at Felix and booped his nose as he went back to get napkins.

  
Felix legitimately grabbed at his chest at the flirting but hid his wide eyes from Sylvain. He heard how his friend talked to their barista. And their ride-share drivers. And the 65 year old lady who lived next door with the Pekingese with the adorable under bite. His comment didn't carry the same weight Felix felt.

  
"Now... what is this movie we're about to watch?" Felix held the disc's case in his hand. All that was on the cover was a... distinguished looking man looking creepily up at the camera, slightly raised eyebrows under plain font that read "The Room".

  
"Fe, I'm about to change your life. For the better."

  
Sylvain wasn't the type to talk during a movie, much to the delight of Felix. It was a shame though, because every time he opened his mouth to ask a question about what in the actual fuck was going on, his friend would just smile and tell him to watch it. Felix had questions. So many questions.

  
As the siren blared at the end of the film, Felix's mouth hung open in near abject disbelief.

  
"Did you like it?" Sylvain asked excitedly, smiling like a buffoon. His arms were anxiously squeezing the throw pillow on his lap. As Felix reflected, he knew he thought the movie was a disaster. But he also though about the shakes that had rocked Sylvain's body as he laughed silently into his fist at specific parts. He thought about how he nearly recited the entire script, mouthing out the words, having to wipe tears from his eyes multiple times because he was just so entertained by the absurdity. Felix would probably watch this movie as many times as Sylvain wanted, if only to see him so happy again and again.

  
"I think Mark deserved better. Denny too. And Claudette."

  
Sylvain made a noise akin to a cow dying and engulfed Felix in a hug, pretending to cry dramatically. "Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeelix......."

  
Felix felt his own ridiculous smile break his slightly tilted corners of his lips, returning the embrace as his roommate started to go on and on about how nobody would ever watch this movie with him, about how he went to special screenings where people would throw plastic spoons at the screen.

  
"I like bad movies," Sylvain said, sitting up off of Felix's midsection and clasping their hands together. "Do you still love me?" he pouted.

  
"Only because you're so cute when you're this excited," Felix said, visibly shocking himself with his boldness. Sylvain laughed but then was cut off. They stayed locked in each other's arms, Felix blinking furiously and Sylvain wide and doe eyed.

  
"You think I'm cute, huh?" Sylvain cooed, scooting ever so closer, hands travelling farther down Felix's back and linking. His voice wasn't flirty, Felix thought, but sounded... hopeful? The redhead had a soft smile on his face, wrinkles near the corners of his eyes because it was so wide.

  
Felix momentarily stopped breathing. This felt so familiar, but demons from his past crept in and fought for control over his mind. Sylvain was here, in front of him, their bodies pressed together and their faces mere inches apart. Yet in the back of his mind, something dark was telling him that this was all a joke. His ex was going to bust in the apartment any moment with a film crew. Sylvain would laugh and laugh and then disappear forever.

  
His eyes drifted to the right as Sylvain peered anxiously at him, and he felt his heartbeat quicken and his skin burn with a blush he hadn't felt in years. He couldn't let himself smile, despite Sylvain's silent begging. But he slipped his fingers into the other's hair and studied him, deciding if he was willing to risk their great friendship for something he was simultaneously one hundred percent committed to and against.

  
"Can I kiss you?" He felt like he had just started to free fall off of a bridge.

  
"I thought you'd never ask, Fe."

  
Felix's hands gently pulled Sylvain closer to him, fighting a yearning gasp as their lips met. The redhead was warm, and his hands immediately grasped the back of his shirt at impact. Felix felt his bottom lip quivering, so leaned more into the kiss and soothingly ran a hand along his scalp.

  
Sylvain was a kisser. He quickly took the lead in the exchange and moved his lips over Felix's, aching to taste every piece of him. He had never felt the clarity he was feeling in this moment. The sound of Felix whimpering softly against his hungry mouth filled the room and his ears as though he'd never hear another sound again. Not that he wanted to.

  
Felix, too, was a kisser. He foolishly smiled against Sylvain and squeezed every bit of him that he touched. The other man's large arms felt like heaven in his palms, the soft skin around his neck on fire with emotion. When Sylvain pulled him up into his lap, he crossed his legs around his back and sat contentedly. He trailed kisses all around Sylvain's neck, collarbone, and shoulders, eventually going down his arms to his fingertips.

  
"I've wanted you to do that for so long," Sylvain admitted sheepishly, running his thumb over Felix's high cheekbone. The other's copper eyes bore into him with an intensity that filled him with what he could only guess was love. "I want to do that with you whenever we want."

  
"We can." Felix moved his ass unintentionally meaningfully over Sylvain's lap and kissed him again gently. This could never end. He did not want a world where he was kissing any man but him, in any place where he could not follow.

  
"You're the first man I've ever felt this way for, Felix," Sylvain said quietly, tracing the other's spine with his finger tips. His eyes were shut softly, and his breath hit Felix's exposed chest under his v-neck shirt like a warm flame. The older man genuinely wanted to follow up with something to the effect of not wanting to feel this way about anyone else, but instead just squeezed Felix in a meaningful embrace. He wanted to get better about using his words.

  
Felix fell back onto the couch and just pulled Sylvain down on top of him, pressing his face to the other's forehead and mumbling happy phrases to him. Barbara soon joined and curled up on the small of Sylvain's back, contentedly purring. Sylvain lied on him as though he were protecting his slender frame with his whole being, intertwining their legs and fingers.

  
"What do we do now?" The older man mused lightly, tracing random patterns into Felix's chest.

  
"Well." Felix sat up slightly, keeping Sylvain's head in his lap. "You can sleep in my room tonight... to see if you like it," he replied quietly, running his fingers through the other's long red hair. "Then, in the morning, I can wake up beside you and kiss you as much as I want."

  
Sylvain felt a jolt of electricity shoot down to his toes, and his fingers instinctively clutched tighter against Felix's thighs.

  
"You promise you'll let me sleep?" he winked, thumbs grazing over the other's hip bones beneath his thin black pants. Felix laughed but grabbed them lightly, squeezing them while he steeled himself for what he wanted to say. He couldn't think of a way to execute the words without sounding horrifically insensitive or dismissive of Sylvain's feelings. He wanted to make sure that Sylvain actually liked him. Actually wanted to be with him. The notion that he didn't felt unbearable and silly, but what his ex had done to him had nearly irreparably altered his self confidence.

  
"I want to take this slow. So I can enjoy it and make this feeling last as long as I can," is what he managed to breathe out, bringing an emotional flash of emotions cross Sylvain's face below him. He feared he had upset up, and tensed up accordingly, so was surprised when the other man sat up and only pulled him into his lap again.

  
"As long as I get to stay with you, we can take as long as we need. There's no rush," the redhead whispered against his collarbone, planting a few kisses as he squeezed Felix reassuringly. Felix felt his head drop pathetically against Sylvain and he bit back some tears, disbelief about the happiness and good fortune that was happening to him.

  
He didn't know how lucky he got to have this man by his side. With another long kiss on Sylvain's lips, he made a mental note to call Ashe before bed to thank him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a few days left on my giveaway on tweeter: @setethstiddies! i will be picking the winner on friday, 10/25~ I hope you enjoyed this chapter; I really want to update it everyday because... i have no self control... TwT


	4. Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix and Sylvain go to a Halloween party to meet friends, have drinks, and confess their past traumas and love for one another <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp... this went in a direction I wasn't expecting but am pleasantly surprised and happy with. The slow burn continues >w> huge thanks to my sweet natalie once again <3 you're always there for me when i need help or inspiration, and i love you! but thanks to nothinggoeshere and cherryconke for also being sweet today <3 ilu all!!! ;w;  
sorry in advance for the angst.   
SORRY IM NOT SORRY ZOOM

Sylvain eagerly threw the key into the lock on his and Felix's mailbox. A light green slip let him know that their costumes had arrived and were being held in the office. Fuck yes. He shoved the junk mail and coupons into his bag and tracked across the building.

"Thanks!" He excitedly took the box from the receptionist with a smile after handing her the slip. She winked at him, making him frown before he knew what he was doing. Any flirting or suggestive behavior thrown at him from women now made him feel strange. Months before, he would have gotten that girl's number and probably would have had her in bed before the 10 p.m. news. It felt wrong though, now, knowing Felix was never more than 15 minutes away.

He forced a tight lipped smile and hurried out of the office with the package held tightly in his hands.

Back in the apartment, Felix was still snoozing in his bed, shivering slightly now that his own personal heater had left him. Barbara lay at his head, but refused to lend her heat because she too was miffed at the redhead's absence.

They heard the front door being unlocked and both lept out from the room in joy.

"They're here!" Sylvain was already taking his pocket knife out and slicing the tape off the box. Felix flushed and scooped up Barbara to watch.

The carrot suit was massive. It was made of simple foamy fabric with soft suede leaves up top. Felix knew he would sweat to death in it. But Sylvain held it up like he was staring at a masterpiece, handing it to Felix excitedly.

"C'mon babe, we gotta try them on," Sylvain said, biting back a laugh at the look on Felix's face. "I want to see my sexy little carrot!"

Felix grimaced and held it at arm's length. "This is only so we match," he pouted, handing Barbara to him. He threw it on unceremoniously over his pajamas and blushed when the other guffawed in laughter. It was so massive that his small face was nearly swallowed up by the hole up top, and his arms comically stuck out on the sides.

"Felix..." Sylvain whined, engulfing him in a hug. He managed to smush the fabric around Felix to get his arms around the monstrosity.

"Your turn now. Slip into that bunny suit." Felix backed away to seductively lean against the door frame to his bedroom as best he could in the carrot costume.

Sylvain winked and bounced past him to get to his own room. "I need to get something first," he said, closing the door at the other side of their apartment.

Did... he order stockings? Felix prayed to himself.

In his room, Sylvain set down Barbara and blushed as he retrieved a small mailer from his nightstand drawer. It was already open, so he pulled out the lacy black thigh high hosiery with a nervous smile.

"This is all for him, you know," he lied to the cat, who had stretched her awkwardly long legs out and was already purring.

He stepped in front of the full length mirror that hung over the closet door and stripped down out of his sleep clothes, anxiously looking at himself in the nude. He liked how he looked. He'd always put a lot of work into exercising and keeping up with his weight training. For years he told himself it was all for his own self and to impress girls, but a year ago had noticed he liked seeing other men working out at the gym. That had been his first light bulb flickering on for his sexuality...

He removed the bunny suit from the box and anxiously shivered as he stepped into it and pulled it up his lean torso. He chuckled at the gap between the bust and his chest, but also flushed because he liked the sight of his relatively flat pecs surrounded by the sweetheart neckline.

It was cut high in the legs and oh so perfectly hugged his hips. He turned around in the reflection of the mirror and shook his ass a little to get the floofy bunny tail to bounce. Damn. Forget ever being embarrassed, he looked fucking great.

Sylvain slipped on the thigh highs and collar before reaching back into the box for the ears.

"How do I look?" He mused to Barbara, who just meowed sleepily from the bed.

He stepped outside of his room to see Felix had moved into the kitchen and was preparing coffee, still in his carrot suit. When Sylvain nervously cleared his throat, he stepped through the arch and nearly dropped both mugs he was holding.

Felix thanked not only God but also Jesus that the fucking carrot suit was as big as it was, because his dick had never hardened so fast in his entire life. Sylvain stood half confident, half nervous in the door way, hands awkwardly placed on his hips which, fuck, Felix wanted to devour.

"Come here, babe," Sylvain winked, holding out his arms at a very unhinged Felix.

Felix shakily set the mugs down on the dining room table and numbly darted over to Sylvain, his face a fierce scarlet and hands shaking. The redhead moaned with a sly smile as he brought his leg up over what he assumed was the others hip, pulling his face into his chest. He couldn't help but giggle as Felix softly screamed.

"Do you like it?"

"How the hell can you even ask that... with that dumb smile on your face..." Felix growled, reaching down to the leg holes on Sylvain's suit and slipping his thumbs underneath. His other fingers went back onto his ass and gripped while he ground his groin into his. Sylvain nuzzled down into his neck and kissed him, leaving little bites along the way.

**

The day of Ashe's party came soon after. It was the evening of the Friday before Halloween. Sylvain went to the hospital to pick Felix up from work like normal, but drove up to see Dr. Ogden too close for comfort in the carpool area. He threw the car into park, jammed his finger down on the hazard lights, and exited with a jealous burning in his stomach.

"Hey babe," he said loudly, walking up beside Felix and protectively putting his arm around his midsection.

"Sylvain, you're here! Hello dear." Sylvain could hear the faintest sound of panic in the other's voice as he stood up on his toes to kiss him. He hid it well, but he could still sense that Ogden had probably just said something threatening.

"Hey Doc," the redhead forced with a smirk, not breaking eye contact with the man while he pecked Felix on the forehead. He lovingly, while simultaneously over-protectively, squeezed onto Felix to silently let him know he wasn't going to let Ogden do anything now that he was there.

"Mr. Gautier." The doctor's face was slightly contorted in irritation.

"We have to be going, Hammond," Felix breathed out nervously. He clung to Sylvain for dear life. "We have plans this evening."

"Have fun, Felix." There was no joy or kindness to Ogden's voice. He glared at them and turned to walk away to the parking garage. Sylvain moved to warn the man to leave Felix alone, but the shorter man grabbed him.

"Sylvain, don't-- I'll handle it." His face was white.

Sylvain angrily stared at the back of Ogden's head as he opened the passenger side door for Felix. Against his wishes, he was going to find a way to make it clear to him he needed to back off.

His chest was still tight as he drove them back home, his right hand achingly holding Felix's the entire way. Felix was still a bit flustered from the interaction as he told him what happened.

"He's been asking about you more. I finally told him today about us." The navy haired man had his forehead in his free hand. They weren't... official official, but both of them agreed that they were as official as they could be without... the actual label.

"And he didn't like that." Sylvain kept his eyes glued to the road so he wouldn't look at Felix and want to cry.

"No. He did not." Felix's voice was hollow. He sounded as if he were a million miles away.

"What else did he say?"

Felix shifted uncomfortably in the seat. He knew if he revealed that Ogden had suggested his work performance had been faltering due to personal issues, Sylvain would probably turn the car around to go hit him with it. If he mentioned that Ogden said that him having a same sex partner wouldn't be a good look working in a pediatric unit, Sylvain absolutely would find Ogden and throttle him.

"He's not thrilled. But I have the situation under control. This isn't the first time he's hated a boyfriend of mine," he reminisced bitterly, thinking back to his ex.

Sylvain parked in their building's garage and hugged Felix across the center console. He struggled with what he wanted to say, but didn't want to hold back after his promise to himself about speaking his mind more.

"I want to have this conversation, Syl." Felix said quietly into his neck, clasping around him tightly. "I just don't know if tonight is the best night."

Sylvain pouted but traced along Felix's shoulder blades with his thumbs, nuzzling down into the dip of his collarbone.

"Promise? Promise we'll talk about it soon? I just want to help you as much as I can, baby." Sylvain pulled just far enough away to look down at Felix worriedly.

"I promise."

**

Felix held on tightly to Sylvain's hand as he rang the doorbell at Byleth and Seteth's house. The redhead was in awe of the place, looking around at the facade with his mouth hanging open slightly. Their house, or 'castle' as he'd described it on their drive in, really did look like something out of Scotland. It was a re-purposed church from the late 1800's where the two professors now raised their two kids and a handful of horses.

Byleth opened the door, a wide smile on her face at the sight of Felix.

"Fraldarius!!" She hugged him and snickered at his carrot costume. Sylvain would have felt weird about his risque getup, but Byleth herself had on a sexy nun costume, so... "And you must be Sylvain," she smiled warmly, giving him a less intense but still sweet embrace. "Nice duo, you two~"

Sylvain beamed and Felix blushed, pulling his friend over the threshold quickly. "It was entirely his idea..."

"Come on in, Seteth is getting drinks started." She lead them through the foyer and into a grand sitting room. On the eastern wall was a large fireplace surrounded by extremely comfortable looking armchairs. A small fire cackled, giving off deliciously spooky vibes with the party decor. They had spun fake cobwebs over the family portraits and knickknacks there. There were cute little ghosts hanging from fishing line over a portrait of two kids.

"Who's this?" Sylvain asked with a smile when they passed the family pictures, pointing to the little girl and baby boy smiling at the camera.

Felix lit up and grabbed the frame, beaming at Byleth.

"The older one is Flayn. She's from Seteth's first marriage, but she's practically mine," Byleth grinned. "The little one is our own: Eisner. He's a little bigger now than he was when this was taken... He's walking now, Felix!"

Felix excitedly looked back at the picture with a caring gaze at the two kiddos. Sylvain felt his stomach tighten and his heart want to burst.

"I'll have to come see them soon. Where are they tonight?"

"Grandpa has them!" Byleth picked up a bottle of wine off of the nearby coffee table and uncorked it with her bare hands. Sylvain was both scared and horny at her power. She had his respect even more now.

They continued over to the other side of the salon, where a tall green haired man, appropriately dressed as a naughty priest, was rolling a shaker as he had a polite argument with a tall dark skinned man.

"All I'm saying is, for the goddess's sake, the home owner's association should not allow such plants in front yards..." The dark skinned man nodded earnestly, patting his arm.

"Seteth, Dedue, this is Sylvain! Felix's Sylvain," Byleth said with a knowing smile, throwing her arms out in front of the redhead a la Will Smith pointing to Jada.

"Very pleased to meet you," Seteth grinned, setting the shaker down to shake Sylvain's hand. "We've been told a lot about you from Ashe."

"I feel so important!" Sylvain chuckled, taking it and twitching at the powerful hands of Seteth. As he smiled at Dedue, an unsurprising but similar powerful handshake making his knees weak, Felix spoke up beside him.

"Molinaro-- is that an engagement ring?" Felix peered at the simple black band on his left ring finger. Dedue smiled softly and nodded.

"Yes. I asked Dimitri only a week ago."

Sylvain once again felt his heart skip a beat. His sheltered upbringing had not leant him the opportunity to meet many gay married couples (openly or explicitly anyway), so seeing this somewhat intimidating mountain of a man talk about his male fiance made Sylvain feel about fifteen things at once.

"Congratulations," Felix said warmly, clasping his forearm. "Where is that boar anyway?" He followed up with a grin.

"I put him to work," Byleth smirked, pointing to the great window that showcased the backyard. Dimitri, an also horrifically tall blonde, was heaving up bags of charcoal on his shoulders up to the deck. It occured to Sylvain when he saw him doing this in a lion onesie that he and Dedue were dressed up as the Cowardly Lion and Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz, and he clutched his chest because of how adorable that was.

"I'm surprised he still comes over, dear," Seteth said with a small frown, hurrying over to the door to yell to Dimitri, asking if he needed any help.

"My former students love me, dear."

Felix chuckled and looked up at Sylvain, who looked like he was warming up to the new people quicker than he thought he thought he would. He was already gushing to Dedue how cute he thought their costumes were, to which the white haired man was laughing and telling him it had been Dimitri's idea.

The doorbell rang again so Byleth excused herself. Sylvain turned to Felix with a nervous smile on his face.

"Think they like me?" He asked, bouncing slightly in his shoes. Felix saw the big bunny tail quiver, making his face flush.

"You're the life of the party, I promise," Felix said, taking his hand and leading him over to the snack table. When he saw the veggie tray, he rolled his eyes at Sylvain when he flirtatiously took a carrot in his mouth and licked it. "Never mind. You're banned from this house forever more."

"Fe... but... it's you..." Sylvain kissed it gently. Felix scoffed jokingly and yanked it out of his hand to chomp it in two. "MURDERER."

More of Felix's college friends showed up soon after. His best friend Annette, who seemingly loved Sylvain the moment he cracked up at a joke she made about Felix's costume ("you look so healthy!"). She quickly had the redhead hooked on every word, telling him stories about Felix from middle and high school.

Seteth poured amazing drinks, managing to get everyone nice and toasty before he and Byleth even began to grill outside for dinner. Annette turned out to have pretty good taste in music and soon had a great playlist going for them to dance to. Sylvain had both Felix and Ashe at his hips, arms wrestled around both of them while he sang loudly along. He snuck kisses onto both their cheeks, which made Ashe flush with laughter and Felix slide his hand closer to Sylvain's ass as much as he could without being offensive.

Ashe got pulled off by a spiky blue haired man with a big smile, Sylvain only letting him go when Ashe's grin nearly slit his face apart at the prospect. That left him and Felix alone, which neither of them complained about.

"Mmmm... my sweet little carrot," Sylvain slurred happily, wrapping his arms around the foam costume and embracing Felix.

"My sexy little bunny." Felix's face was red and his eyes half lidded. He held Sylvain's face securely and stood up on his toes to kiss him. When he deepend the kiss, Sylvain laughed and pulled him away to peck his nose.

"Let's go somewhere more private for that, babe," he whispered into his ear, gently moving away his loose hairs from around his face. Felix stared up at him wide eyed, looking down at their laced fingers.

The shorter man turned on his heel and broke away softly, stumbling over to the bar and grabbing the closest bottle of booze and hurrying down a hallway. Sylvain glanced at Ashe and his dancing partner, who both gave him a thumbs up. He was dumbfounded when Byleth too gave him the signal from the doorway that lead to the deck. He laughed somewhat manically and quickly followed Felix.

The redhead followed a slightly winding hallway until he saw a door slightly ajar with a light streaming out from it. He took a deep breath and tried to steady his mind as he tiptoed over. The alcohol made him shakey, but longing and aching for Felix gave him enough control to not fall over his feet. Under that carrot costume was tight black dance wear that hugged his slim frame and shaped his cute little ass.

He wanted them off immediately.

Sylvain pushed the door open and gasped at what he saw, fighting a giggle. Felix had the bottle tipped back above his head, leg thrown out over the bed to elongate the costume and his body. He stared Sylvain down as he finished the wine and tossed it gently onto the carpet. Sylvain momentarily panicked, but chuckled when he saw it was white wine.

"I like this, babe... You're so naughty." Sylvain slowly shut the door behind him and locked it. Felix smiled in his normal soft way, but couldn't hide the fire that burned in his eyes at the sight of Sylvain coming for him in that bunny suit.

Just at his feet, Sylvain dropped to his knees and stared up innocently at Felix, taking his left foot in his hand and rubbing it.

"Did master have a long day at work?" Sylvain suggested, furrowing his brow and biting his lip. Felix breathed in sharply, clutching the sheets when the redhead began to trail kisses up his still clothed leg and onto his thigh. "You're the sexiest carrot I've ever seen.

Felix snorted and gazed down at Sylvain, fighting words he really, truly wanted to say. That Sylvain was gorgeous, bunny costume or not. How he almost didn't want to stop dancing with him to come back here because he loved how perfectly he fit against his tall frame, how nice their bodies felt next to one another as they grinded against each other in time to the music. How all of his friends seemed so warm to him despite only knowing him for a few hours.

"Sylvain..." Felix half heartedly protested as Sylvain reached up under the costume and pulled down his tights. When the taller man stood up to remove the foam piece altogether, his breath caught in his throat at his lean frame looming over him. The thigh highs he wore only elongated those legs; the cut of the bottom of the suit hugged his hip bones. The redhead's breath too was now shaky and longing, eyes dilated in the dim light of the guest room. His hands moved down to remove the clinging black top from Felix's skin with a gasp at the contact.

"Is this okay?" Sylvain whispered to him, hands lingering at the hem, breathing warmly against the side of his face.

"Are you sure you want to? Are you sure you want me?" The words sounded like another person said them in Felix's ears though they came from his own mouth. Sylvain looked up at him with genuine shock and concern, dropping his grip to hold his hands in his own.

"I've never been more sure about anything, Felix Fraldarius," Sylvain replied, planting soft kisses on his hands as he squeezed them. "I don't know how you could ask," he laughed lightly, reaching up to move his thumb over Felix's cheek, where a single tear had fallen.

"My ex wasn't gay," Felix breathed out suddenly. He watched as Sylvain absorbed the information, his face going through multiple stages of shock and denial in mere seconds.

"What?"

Felix swatted the tear off his cheek and took a deep breath. "He was married. Was the entire time we were... together. Still is."

Sylvain shook his head in disbelief. He stood up and sat next to Felix on the bed, wrapping an arm around him and laying his head sadly on his shoulder.

"He lived a double life with me for a year before I found out. It turns out I was only around so he could make his wife suffer. I guess she cheated on him too, but I never really got that side of the story.

"We met at work, believe it or not," he laughed hotly, breath hitching in his throat as more tears threatened to come. Sylvain quickly soothed him and reassuringly side hugged him. "He worked in the administrative offices at the time. His niece came to me for speech therapy for about six months and we started talking in between sessions. He was charming, never mentioned his wife... or his kids."

Sylvain gasped in anger, forcing his forehead into his palm and sighing. He knew that guy had been a fucking lowlife.

"Soon, he started coming home with me just for drinks. Then it was to come back to my bed. Then he," Felix waved his left hand flippantly around, "moved in, I guess. He stayed until Fridays, but would always have work business to attend to on Saturday or Sunday.

"The more his absence started to affect me, the meaner he got."

Sylvain inadvertently rolled his neck and popped it.

"I was told how pathetic I was for missing him. How I was lucky he even came back."

Felix finally succumbed to a few tears. Sylvain felt like he was being held at gunpoint watching him cry. His friend's next words were more bitter and full of anger than anything he'd heard in his entire life.

"And I fucking believed him. I fucking believed every word he said. I let him leave me for weeks at a time, calling and texting him every day to see if he was coming home. He was never at work, which is why Ogden started hitting on me more. He knew that he was married the entire time; he knew he was a lying piece of shit just like him.

"One day, I followed him after he left our apartment." Felix angrily breathed out and shyed away from Sylvain's gaze when he saw him staring at him with horror in his eyes. "I followed him to his in-law's house, where they were holding a baby shower for their third child."

The dam broke. Felix collapsed onto Sylvain's chest and heaved with silent sobs, clutching the fabric on his skin in agony. Sylvain was numb. He had never, even in his time in college with piece of shit twenty somethings and their non-monogamy, heard anything to the caliber of what Felix had just revealed to him.

"I... n-never thought. That I'd meet a decent person. Ever a-again." Each word was punched into Sylvain's ears like a twisting knife of pain and torment. He was nearly unable to look down at the other man as he clung to him like his life depended on it. But he breathed deeply, removing his own sobs from his throat, and cupped Felix's face in his hands. He couldn't think of anything helpful to say, so just pressed their foreheads together and smoothed his hair as he rubbed his back.

"But then there you were."

Felix's breath and voice were almost eerily smooth. He gazed up at Sylvain, eyes bloodshot and cheeks stained with tears. His mouth hung open slightly as he stared into the redhead's hazel eyes, breathing through it.

"That was the best day of my life," Sylvain whispered.

Another sob broke through Felix as he nodded in agreement, face scrunched up in pained anguish. "Mine too."

Sylvain pulled Felix to his chest and kissed him, wishing away everything that could possibly hurt him. He wanted Felix to forget about every nightmare his ex caused, every bit of self loathing and doubt that his abuse had caused. Never again did he want to see Felix cry the way he cried in his arms, as though every ounce of horror and sadness in his life were pouring out all at once.

"I want to take care of you," Sylvain exhaled, looking down into the other's eyes yet again. "I want to help you, I want to see you rise above this pain. I want to be there for you when you think nobody will be. I want to love you, Felix Hugo Fraldarius. Can I?"

Sylvain's words entered Felix's very being and refused to let go. Never before had he felt the way he felt about him. His heart had never carried this sure, steady rhythm that eased his anxieties and doubts. Sylvain was, in many ways, an unexpected yet welcome presence that finally made Felix feel complete.

"I want to love you for the rest of my life, Sylvain Jose Gautier."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a comment if you liked it, or if you hate me for the angst xD i will appreciate it either way!! <3 follow my tweeter for fun and dicks: @setethstiddies


	5. Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvain learns more about Felix's dark past, but it only makes his love stronger. Felix also needs release after a particularly shitty day at work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooo happy to be posting this update! This AU means so much to me TwT This is super long but... a lot of things happen! <3

Sylvain woke to two messages from Felix, one being a selfie of him and Ashe preparing Thanksgiving themed activities for their patients, which was sent around 7am. They wore smiles, looking happy despite it being a Monday. The next message had come in at exactly 8:50am, twenty minutes after Ogden got to work. Felix sadly told him they wouldn't be able to do lunch today, but that he'd make it up to Sylvain by making him dinner when he got home.

_You're going to be a sleepy Felix. I'll make dinner. I love you!_ He snapped a shot of him and a yawning Barbara, smiling warmly. He quickly sent another of him flexing and showing off his pecs, wrapped up in the sheets of Felix's bed with an obnoxious amount of winking and kissy smileys to go with it. He waited for a reply as he scrolled through emails from his editor. He amazingly had a few emails from her, meaning he had finally gotten some work to do that morning. She wanted a few advertisement pitches from him after nothing the last few weeks.

He received a reply a few minutes later. _Thank you. I love you too._ Followed by a single blushing smiley. Sylvain's stomach warmed; even Felix's simple and short messages made him this happy. He scooped up Barbara and brought her into the kitchen for her breakfast.

"Here you go, sweet girl," he cooed to her, mixing her food and setting it down for her on the floor. He went to his desk in his old bedroom and booted up his laptop. He worked steadily until eleven, when his phone ringing on the kitchen counter zapped him out of it. He hurried to grab the call, hitting the talk button excitedly when he saw Felix’s name on the caller ID.

“Hey hoooney,” he said sweetly.

“Hey, you.” He could hear Felix’s fingers typing furiously on his keyboard. “Annette wants to have lunch with you, if you’re not too busy.”

Sylvain perked up with a grin. He had meant to add her on social media after the party, but he and Felix had returned from their pillow talk to find everyone very rowdy and drunk, so they had joined them happily. Annette was very sweet, and he knew she meant a lot to Felix. He figured they would get along well, but desperately wanted to be her friend and get to know her.

He knew he’d be able to finish the pitch and send it to his editor before Felix even got home.

“Yeah, that’d be great! I’m sorry you can’t be there with us, though, babe,” he replied with a pout he knew Felix would be able to hear in his voice.

“Me too.” His fingers slowed on the keyboard. “Hold on…” he mumbled quietly. Sylvain heard his drawer opening and the phone making a soft thud against the plastic. “Come in.”

It was fuzzy, but he heard a man’s voice. It sounded cocky and annoying, so he figured the only person it could be was Ogden. Sylvain strained his ears but unfortunately couldn’t hear anything that was said. He did hear Felix’s office door close, Felix picking up the phone and sighing angrily into the mouthpiece.

“Fe?” he inquired, preparing for bad news.

“I won’t be home for dinner, either. Not until at least eight, anyway. I’m sorry Sylvain.”

“What, why?”

“Department meeting.” Felix was infuriated although his voice was even. Sylvain knew from his short reply and angrier clacking on his keyboard. He wanted to push, but knew it’d only make Felix more upset if he did. All he could do was force his sigh to come out a little less harshly.

“Ok. I’ll shoot Annette a message if you text me her number. I love you.”

He heard Felix take a deep breath before he replied. Sylvain could see the sad smile on his face through the phone. “I love you too. I’ll let you know when to come get me.”

Sylvain tossed the phone on the couch as he trudged back to his room, nearly throwing himself back into his desk chair. He sighed in frustration as he put his fist against his tightly pursed lips, staring unseeingly at his laptop screen. He sincerely wished battery and assault weren’t felonies, or Ogden would be on the receiving end of a few good kicks and punches. Every moment he thought about Felix being in such a toxic work environment was another moment his blood pressure spiked. He hadn’t had a desk job since right after college, but he knew how workplace politics went. HR always said they were there to help, but as soon as the highest on the payroll was causing problems, they were silent.

He heard his phone pinging from the living room, remembering he was waiting for Annette’s number. Sylvain retrieved it and saved her as a contact. As he was typing in her name, her number buzzed in through a new call. He smiled and answered.

“Hey new friend!” He laughed, heading into his and Felix’s room to change.

“Hi! I hope you don’t think I’m weird. Because I’ve only known you for like two weeks. But I really want to be your friend!” She sounded just as excited and happy as she had at Byleth and Seteth’s house, if not unrestrained now that she was talking to just Sylvain.

“Of course not! I hope you don’t think I’m weird because I want to be your friend too! We share a very good common interest.”

“Oh yeah?! What’s that?”

“Felix!”

Her snort in reply was adorable. He liked her already when she replied with, “Yeah… he’s okay. I _guess_.”

**

Sylvain drove past the hospital with a worried glance. He didn’t want to seem overbearing or annoying, but desperately wanted to show up to Felix’s floor just to check on him. From the way he talked about Ogden, the dude seemed capable of being just creepy enough that his behavior wouldn’t be noticed by people.

With a sigh though, he kept going, following his GPS to the small mom-and-pop restaurant Annette wanted to meet for lunch at. She waved at him from the patio when he drove up.

“This place is so lovely and charming!” he regarded as he walked up the small stone path that lead to a wood gate. He took a seat at the wrought iron table, instantly comfortable amongst the wintry shrubbery that was planted around them.

“I’m sure Dedue will love the compliment,” Annette smiled, waving behind Sylvain. He turned around to see the man himself, wiping his hands on a dish towel with a soft smile. Sylvain’s eyes widened in adoration as he approached their table.

“Felix didn’t tell me he was friends with entrepreneurs,” he grinned, standing up to casually shake Dedue’s hand. The mere size of them and his grip once again make Sylvain flush inwardly.

“This was my parents’ establishment. I run it now with my sister. Dimitri helps out with the management as well, when he’s able.” Dedue replied. “What can I get for you two? It’ll be on the house, of course.”

“Dedue, nooo! I’m buying,” she beamed at Sylvain, “and I will happily pay for your delicious food!”

“I’ll have whatever you want to feed me,” Sylvain replied happily. Dedue nodded and softly bowed, heading back inside to put their order in.

Annette was all smiles as she dove into getting to know Sylvain. She expressed great envy at the fact that he got to work from home.

“I guess I shouldn’t complain too much, though! I get to spend all day in a bakery with my girlfriend! Her name is Mercedes, but we all call her Mercie. She wanted to come too and meet you, since she couldn’t at the Halloween party either! But she unfortunately had to work with our boss today.”

“I can’t wait to meet her! I’m envious that you two get to work together,” Sylvain admitted sheepishly, taking the glass of water a new server had brought out.

“It _is_ pretty nice,” Annette blushed. “But Felix tells me you come to visit him all the time for lunch! I love that; it’s _so_ sweet. I know he appreciates it a lot too.”

Sylvain covered his face as he smiled in embarrassment, face burning hot with crimson. He wondered just how much Felix had told her about him…

“Anything to get in there and show that asshole boss of his what his situation is…” he grumbled, eyes immediately widening when he realized he’d said it out loud. A dark frown also instantly cut Annette’s smile, and she sighed heavily.

“I. _Hate_. Hammond Ogden.” Sylvain shot up straight in his seat.

“_How_ has that man not been fired?!” He asked incredulously, hands clenching into fists on the tabletop. Annette gently placed her hands over them and breathed out through her nose, eyes closing gently.

“Sylvain, I have been telling Felix _for years_ that he needs to go to someone. I know he’s tried, but it hasn’t yielded any results. I said he needs to find someone else then. But… oh, Sylvain, he just loves his job so much. He loves those kids.”

Sylvain nodded in agreement, a sad, heavy weight falling upon them. They looked at each other in agony, the two most important people in the world to Felix, sharing an unfortunate moment of understanding.

“I’m not afraid of prison,” Sylvain joked, squeezing her hands reassuringly.

“I’ll help you dispose of the body! They’ll never find him!” They laughed, but the weight of Felix’s terrifying situation only worried Sylvain more knowing his best friend was aware of it too. He had no idea how he could help aside from physically confronting Ogden, which would probably lead to him _getting_ arrested.

“I really wish I could help,” Annette said sadly, slumping back in her chair and picking at a piece of bread that had been brought out by the server. “This has been a problem for years, and the way Felix talks about it, it’s only gotten worse since you’ve come into the picture.

Sylvain grunted in frustration, nodding as he pressed pursed lips against his knuckles. “That man looks at me like he wants me dead every time I see him,” he said bitterly. “We have that in common, though, because I too want to see him six feet under. Or at least fifty feet away at all times.

“Felix seems just… afraid of him. Yet unafraid and just tired of his bullshit.”

“You can thank his ex for that,” Annette said grumpily. “Whenever Felix told him about Ogden, he always tried to play it off as something Felix shouldn’t really worry about.”

“That son of a bitch _knew_?”

“Of course. If I remember correctly, Ogden fooled around with and targeted his ex before Felix. I… don’t know if Felix knows about that part, though. Ashe told me because he overheard people at the hospital talking about it…”

Sylvain’s hands pulled at his hair in utter confusion and anger. “What in the actual fuck…”

At that moment, their server brought out a medium sized family style plate of meat and vegetables. It smelled amazing, and Sylvain nearly burst from the immediate comfort swooping in to temporarily take his mind off his infuriation.

They ate in peace, neither one talking because their mouths were nearly always full. Sylvain promised to make the drive out there at least once a week so he could try every last thing on the menu. Dedue humbly told him that he would appreciate it.

“So… yeah. I can tell how much of an impact you’ve had on him,” Annette said softly. They were back at their cars, leaning up against them in a prolonged goodbye. When Sylvain looked at her with a sheepish smile, she patted his arm. “He really surprised us all by coming to the Halloween party. He’s ghosted us the last couple of years. And to see you two in those _costumes_!” Sylvain bellowed out a laugh, having to wipe tears from his eyes.

“I can’t believe he let me dress him that way…”

“He really loves you!”

Although they’d said it multiple times a day since he’d confessed his feelings, the sound of the tune of those words never failed to make his heart rate skyrocket. He smiled weakly at Annette as he pulled her into a hug.

“Thank you for being there for him too, Annie. I appreciate it more than I can say, or show.”

“Show me by taking care of him. Love him even if he tries to push you away, or gets prickly. He might get prickly,” she giggled, returning the hug strongly. “I feel really good about you, Sylvain! I don’t think you’ll let me down… but don’t let me down, ok?” Her smile was infectious. Sylvain nodded furiously, waving enthusiastically at her as he drove off.

Now that the ray of bubbly sunshine that was Annette was gone from his side, Sylvain’s mind returned to Ogden. If Felix was up to it, he was going to try to talk to him about it that night. He even toyed with the idea of looking up legal advice online when he got home. He’d finish his pitches, send them off to his editor, then pour over the most basic sites so he could build this understanding. He was willing to do anything he could to help Felix.

**

Later that night, well past eight, Sylvain got a text from him. He had anxiously been sitting on the couch in anticipation, mindlessly rubbing Barbara’s belly and watching TV. When he saw the simple _Finally free_ text pop up on his phone, he jolted up and nearly tore out the front door. He drove a little too fast to get to the hospital, but when he saw Felix standing with Ashe out front, he knew it was worth it. He waved to them as they embraced in goodbye. He felt his stomach flutter when Felix’s face burst into a smile upon seeing his face more clearly.

Sylvain threw the car in park and climbed out, hastening around the grille. He beamed at Felix and surprised him by gently lifting him off the ground, swinging him around and nuzzling his nose into his neck happily.

“I missed you,” he smiled, running his hand through his hair and kissing him softly.

“Go home!” Ashe called playfully, waving as his rideshare drove up. Felix flushed in embarrassment but giggled as he waved back, hands clasping onto Sylvain’s shirt as his face fell down onto his chest.

“I missed you too,” he mumbled, breathing in his scent with a sigh of relief. “Let’s go home.”

At their front door, Felix quietly stood behind Sylvain as he unlocked it. Barbara greeted them with loud meows, circling their legs. Felix scooped her up and kissed her, his brain finally starting to relax now that he was home with those he loved most.

“Today was… fucking awful,” he groaned, kicking off his shoes and holding Barbara in one hand while Sylvain went to remove his bag from his back. He heard him tsk when he felt his laptop inside.

“He makes you stay that late, and then you’re supposed to work when you get home?” Sylvain asked in annoyance, pitifully setting his head on Felix’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around his waist. “Babe…”

Felix sighed and closed his eyes, letting his head fall back on his boyfriend’s chest. “I don’t know what else to do.” Sylvain felt the frustration in his voice, wondering just how much his near constant attitude towards his job affected Felix. Felix was easy going, and rarely got upset or showed negative emotion. But Sylvain suspected he had the potential to bottle those bad feelings up until he burst.

“Hey…” he mumbled, turning Felix around to face him. “I’m sorry I always complain. I just want you to be happy, babe.” Felix nodded and let out a frustrated sigh, setting Barbara down and burying his face into his boyfriend.

“I know. I just need your support until I can finally bring myself to move on. It would mean a lot.” His voice has softened, his arms wrapping around Sylvain’s torso and squeezing him affectionately. He sounded so broken though, so nightmarishly exhausted and defeated. Sylvain found it difficult for him to not state the obvious, to suggest Felix look for another hospital to work with, so instead he just held his boyfriend close. He had meant it when he asked Felix if he could love him, and absolutely would lend any amount of support he asked for as part of that love.

“Okay,” Sylvain mumbled sweetly, pushing Felix’s bangs out of his eyes and pressing a kiss onto his forehead. “Let me get you some wine, cuddle Barbara, and I’ll make you dinner.” Felix smiled at him and nodded, standing up on his toes to kiss him before shuffling over to the couch and dragging a blanket down over the two of them. Sylvain prepared a quick spicy Korean fried chicken, sacrificing what remained of his taste buds out of love for Felix when he added an extra tablespoon of chili powder into the breading.

As it popped and cooked in oil on the stovetop, Felix came into the kitchen to feed Barbara, his first glass of wine already empty. “That smells amazing, Syl,” he said excitedly as he reached into the cabinet for a can of cat food.

“I put extra spiciness in it just for you,” Sylvain replied, tapping the tongs in his fingers at Felix and blowing him a kiss.

“And they say love is dead. Thank you, honey.” Sylvain couldn’t help but do a little stupid dance in response, bouncing across the kitchen to Felix’s side to kiss him. His boyfriend’s fingers had just pulled the lid off the can as he attacked his neck with smooches, nuzzling his nose up against his skin. He kept goofily touching him as he mixed Barbara’s dinner, telling him about his lunch with Annette.

“She’s my best friend now. I love her!”

“You can’t have her. But yes, she is pretty amazing.” Felix leaned up against the counter with a newly poured glass of wine as he watched Sylvain continue cooking.

Sylvain pouted, swapping out finished chicken with the rest that needed to be fried. “We went to Dedue’s restaurant! That was so cool!”

Felix smiled happily and nodded. “I worked there with him in high school. We’ve been friends since we were kids. His sister is why I went into speech therapy, actually.”

Sylvain turned around and stared in amazement at his boyfriend. His heart was so big, but every time he learned something new about his passions it made him love him even more.

“She had weak oral muscles when she was a kid. It took her a long time to really get used to talking.” He started to move his fingers and hands around in a way Sylvain didn’t understand. “But we all learned sign language growing up so we could talk to her.” Sylvain could have cried, but instead he let Felix continue, as all he could do was pay attention in awe.

When the food was finished cooking, Sylvain served it on their ‘these plates are okay, but we wouldn’t use them at Christmas or anything’ plates, complete with steaming white rice perfectly molded with a small bowl.

“For you, my sweet,” he winked at Felix as he set his food down in front of him. They ate in peaceful discussion, with Felix finally able to attempt to unwind. He ate his meal in bliss as Sylvain went off about how sweet Annette was, nodding happily when he suggested they have her over soon. There hadn’t been any worry that they wouldn’t like each other, but Felix was still thrilled to see them getting along nonetheless.

Sylvain lovingly protested as Felix helped him clean up the dishes, pouting when he did it anyway. “You gotta come snuggle with me for at least fifteen minutes,” he begged afterwards from the couch, holding out his arms as Felix begrudgingly went to retrieve his work computer from his bag. Sylvain expected him to protest, so was happily surprised when Felix instantly dropped it back into the bag and fell on top of him to cuddle.

“Mmmm…” Felix sighed contentedly into his chest, lacing their legs together as he wrapped his arms around his torso. Sylvain softly kissed his forehead and rubbed his back, a similar noise heaving his chest. They lie there quietly, the only sounds being Sylvain’s lips against him and Barbara’s loud purring on the other side of the sofa.

“Thank you for taking such good care of me,” Felix thanked him quietly, fingers tracing the other’s hip bone.

“I love you,” Sylvain replied softly, tipping Felix’s chin up so he could kiss his lips. Felix fell comfortably back against his other arm, sliding his knee gently in between his legs and grinding his groin against Sylvain’s. Their tender make-out lasted for a good while, both happily tangled up with one another. But as Felix’s hands moved with a mind of their own to Sylvain’s stomach, the embers in his heart started to be fanned and encouraged into flames by his boyfriend’s throaty gasps.

“I want you,” Felix begged quietly, hands sliding down to Sylvain’s belt to undo it. As his jeans were shoved down, he slid his hands down his underwear and grasped his soft skin, fingers and thumbs digging roughly into his hip bones and ass. His dick twitched in excitement, rapid breaths spilling out of his lips.

“Nnnn, but I wanted to take care of you, sweetheart… You had such a rough day; you shouldn’t have to do all the work…” he mumbled in reply.

“Trust me, this is _exactly_ what I need to wind down...”

Sylvain growled in approval, thrusting against his boyfriend and pushing him back into their bedroom. Felix sat on the edge of the bed and slid his hands up under his shirt, slowly kissing his stomach above the fabric. Sylvain let out a long, slow breath and massaged Felix’s scalp, whispering words of affirmation. Felix dragged his nails gently against his skin, running his tongue along his right hip.

“Felix—” Sylvain sucked air in through his teeth, hips bucking forward excitedly when he felt teeth after the tongue. Felix slid down off the bed to Sylvain’s feet, staring up at him longingly as he pulled the waistband of his underwear down with his thumbs. Sylvain looked back down at him with love in his eyes, caressing his soft hair between his fingers.

Felix hummed softly at the sight of Sylvain already hard, circling the inside of his thighs as he leaned in to nibble on them.

“Hahh—Babe,” Sylvain moaned, blushing as the tip of his erection grazed over Felix’s cheek.

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” Felix whispered against his legs, reaching up to hold Sylvain’s hands. He maintained eye contact with him as he licked up and down his shaft, furrowing his eyebrows in enjoyment as the other man’s head fell back in pleasure. He laced their fingers together and took him in his mouth, bobbing his head up and down along it while he squeezed.

The quiet of the room was slowly filled with the wet sounds of Felix sucking Sylvain. He’d tease the head with his tongue before taking the whole thing in his mouth quickly, only to pop back off and spread his saliva along every inch. When he wrapped his fingers around the base and tugged on his balls, his knees buckled and he collapsed against the mattress, an embarrassed laugh cutting off a moan as Felix’s mouth took his entire length to the back of his throat.

“Let’s get you more comfortable, baby…” Felix said softly, easing off him and standing up. He held Sylvain’s hands as he pulled him up onto the bed, gently lying him down on the soft sheets. He kept their fingers laced as he kissed him from his lips down to his groin.

“I love you so much,” he heard Sylvain mutter, a smile turning up the corners of his mouth. He dropped his lips around Sylvain’s dick, which loomed over his face admittedly a little intimidatingly. “F-fuck, Felix,” he moaned, gently thrusting his hips up into him, hands peeling away to weave their way into his hair once more. “You feel so fucking good, babe. _Fuck_.”

Sylvain’s moans and gasps only provoked Felix more, each desperate throaty plea making him move his tongue and lips over him faster. He wanted to make their first time special, wanted to make it last as long as he could.

He had fought these actions for weeks, his self-doubt always getting the better of him. His fingers would linger on Sylvain’s warm skin, his lips would draw out even the simplest of kisses against his boyfriend. He caught himself becoming hypnotized by little things that Sylvain did, wanting to repay him physically for how happy and complete he made him feel.

And it hadn’t been as if Sylvain wasn’t throwing him hints. He wore those goddamn gray sweatpants every night to bed, never wore a shirt around the apartment. He’d hold Felix extra close to him under the covers, sucking and kissing hickeys into his skin where nobody but them would see.

Felix kissed and lapped at his circumcision scar, loving the way Sylvain’s entire body shuddered in response. He sucked with pressure on the tip of his erection, ears hungrily accepting the symphony of grunts that forced their way out of his mouth.

“Fe… I want to fuck so bad,” Sylvain groaned, sitting up on his elbows and looking hungrily down at his boyfriend. Felix smirked up at him and spread out on the bed, pumping his own neglected dick slowly while Sylvain drank in his long figure.

“Fuck me then,” he gently demanded, hooking his feet around Sylvain’s waist and pulling him forward. Sylvain huffed and dove for the nightstand, pulling out the bottle of lube and a roll of condoms. Felix grabbed his hand with a serious look on his face. “I trust you, love.” Sylvain’s heart skipped a beat as he slowly set them back down in the drawer, dropping the lube by Felix’s hip as he bent down to kiss him tenderly.

He pressed his tongue into his mouth as he uncapped the bottle, spreading some of the contents onto Felix’s ass and his fingers. He put the weight of his chest down onto the other, making out with him as he pressed in a knuckle.

“Two. Please.” Felix’s intense copper eyes gazed at him sternly, his tongue licking his lips. Sylvain shuddered but obliged his boyfriend’s request, body shaking when a guttural moan escaped the other man’s lips. His muscles tightened around his fingers, breath hitching in his throat. He reached his long fingers up inside him, nervously prodding around. When Felix gasped, he thought he’d hurt him.

“Babe?” He asked worriedly, shooting off his lips and looking at him in concern.

“I just realized… you’ve never…”

Sylvain snorted and nodded sheepishly. “My toys usually help me out in y’know… finding it.”

Felix tackled him in a hug, pushing him onto his back and smothering him with kisses. “It’ll take practice. But we’ll get there,” he purred into his ears, grabbing the lube. He gently eased Sylvain’s knees up and rubbed the bottom of his thigh as he spread it around, nibbling his skin. He knew he’d used toys. He instantly thought of the very first day he’d been in the apartment and what he’d heard and had to seriously fight a giggle. His lips just twitched, but he was thankful Sylvain didn’t see him.

“Just relax, babe…” he muttered softly, feeling how tense Sylvain was from how he clenched his legs. “Take a deep breath and count to five,” he offered, barely running the tip of his finger against his hole.

“I trust you,” Sylvain repeated, smiling when he felt Felix squirm in happiness below him. He followed his advice and closed his eyes, pumping his dick to relax. He blushed horribly but threw in an extra request as Felix’s fingers pressed more firmly against his ass. “Moan for me.”

Felix keened, making Sylvain snicker uncontrollably. In his fit of laughter though, Felix had slipped in a finger and was massaging his insides. He grunted at the sensation, dick twitching in his hands as his boyfriend pressed into him.

“Sshhh,” Felix whispered lovingly, reaching up to clasp his hand. He breathed deeply at the look on Sylvain’s face, reveling in the way his brows furrowed and his teeth bit his bottom lip. “You’re so beautiful,” he smiled, jumping in surprise when Sylvain raised his hips to grind against Felix’s hand by his entrance.

“T-try one more…” Sylvain quietly begged, opening his eyes to gaze down at Felix. A small bit of drool had dropped onto the side of his mouth, which the other man crawled up him to lick away. He whimpered at the second finger that got pressed inside him, but nearly screamed out at the exhilarating sensation that occurred as his muscles contracted around them.

“Tell me if it’s too much, babe,” Felix said reassuringly. Sylvain nodded and breathed out through his nose, testing another movement against Felix’s fingers. It hurt more than it felt good, but his dick was more in control than his brain now. His lover practiced the perfect duality of moaning and gasping as he fucked him with his fingers, perfect little whimpers filling his ears if his toes curled or fingers quickened on his dick.

Felix licked up his balls and up his shaft, earning a loud grunt from Sylvain. He instantly moved his hand, gripping the bed as Felix took him into his mouth. He wanted to beg for Felix to fuck him, but also didn’t know if he’d be able to take it, which embarrassed and saddened him. He started to lose hope, his self-esteem threatening to overpower his libido and confidence, until he felt a prod from Felix that shot stars into his vision.

“Fffffuuuuucccckkkkkk, F-Felix—” he fell back against the bed and felt his back arching against the sheets, his dick twitching against the inside of his boyfriend’s mouth. Felix smiled against him and popped off, pressing his fingers against him more rapidly. Sylvain felt as though his insides were burning in ecstasy, the sensation of his prostate being jabbed and massaged by Felix replacing any pain his felt from the fingers stretching him open.

“Found it,” Felix purred, easing out to apply more lube. “Are you ready for me?” He asked Sylvain lovingly but seriously, removing his hand from his dick to make sure he took the question seriously.

“Y-yes,” Sylvain confirmed breathlessly, the emptiness in his ass shooting up to his stomach when he didn’t feel Felix anymore. “I want you, babe.”

Felix growled in appreciation, pouring an ample amount of lube onto Sylvain’s hole and pressing the head of his dick up to it. “Tell me to stop if you need,” Felix begged, lacing their fingers together. When Sylvain nodded, he slowly began to guide his throbbing erection into him, whispering gentle praises about how well he was doing.

“Ahhhn, Sylvain, _goddess_ you feel so good…” Felix wrapped his arms around his thighs and pushed his erection deeper into him, his hips fighting the urge to thrust with more willpower than he’d ever mustered. By the time he was fully inside a few minutes later, Sylvain’s strained gasps had transformed into pitiful moans into the air around them. “I’m going to make you feel so good, my love…”

Sylvain looked up at Felix and felt his mouth go wet in desire, blood coursing through his body like wildfire. He nodded achingly, only wincing a little as he rocked his hips down onto his erection.

“Just like that, baby. You’re doing so good, you’re _so_ _beautiful_.” He blushed as Felix praised him, but showed his appreciation by clenching his muscles around his dick as tightly as they’d allow. The guttural groan out of Felix ignited a fire inside him, making him bounce on his dick more easily. Felix began to thrust into him with more purpose, hands desperately grasping at his hips. His mouth hung open as he panted, eyes shooting down to gaze lovingly at Sylvain every few seconds. The redhead’s chest was heaving, his strong, muscular arms flexing as he gripped the sheets behind his head. The skin of his stomach delightfully moved over his abs and caught in the light streaming through their open blinds, making him glow in the moonlight.

“S-Sylvain…” Felix pressed his head into the side of Sylvain’s leg as his hips started to sputter sporadically, each one making his dick grow more and more sensitive. The sound of his balls following each pounding was accented by pants from the redhead. It was a recipe for release. “I’m going to—”

“Cum inside, please,” Sylvain begged him, bringing forth a small scream from Felix. He gripped Sylvain’s hips roughly and slammed into him, unable to hold back now that he was so close.

He thought about how happy he’d been when he saw Sylvain driving up to pick him up from work after what had been one of the most stressful days of his career. The smile on his face as he got out of the car to lift him up in joy, then getting to come home with him to their place. Thoughts of them falling asleep against one another in a few hours shot his heartrate up even more. He felt lightheaded when he imagined them waking up together in the morning, and the sleepy, cute way Sylvain would try to keep him from leaving.

“Syl—” Felix’s vision went white as he came, deep groans rocking up to his chest while he finished inside his boyfriend. He barely had time to register that Sylvain was wrapping his legs around him tightly as his hips slowed. He grabbed his hands and bent down to kiss him, panting against his lover’s mouth to encourage his orgasm. “Cum for me, baby. I want to see you cum all over both of us…” he moaned into his ear, legs shaking at how quickly he was able to slide in and out of him with the addition of his own cum. He used that observation to tease Sylvain. “You feel how easily I’m fucking you right now, hmm?”

“Feeee…” Sylvain giggled, silently trying to edge. Felix’s panting and teasing were doing him no favors, and the tight grip he put on his hips made the coil in his stomach threaten to spring at any moment. He gasped when Felix picked up his hips and fucked down into him. It took him mere seconds to rediscover his prostate, and soon Sylvain felt his warm load shooting out and covering his chest. He groaned against Felix, clutching his hands on his hips and whimpering pathetically. When one of his boyfriend’s hands reached down to milk the cum out of his dick, he fell back against the sheets, all energy drained from his body. He vaguely felt his dick being squeezed, but the sensation in his groin and legs had essentially abandoned him.

Felix bent down and kissed him tender, soft, and sweet. He repeated ‘I love you’ over and over, pressing their foreheads together. He gently pulled himself from Sylvain, sliding off the bed to grab a warm washcloth from the bathroom. He cleaned him off and threw it in the hamper to wash. 

Back in bed, Sylvain took back the lead with the affection between them, holding Felix closely to his chest and running his fingers through his damp hair.

“Not to get sentimental,” he laughed softly, running his thumb over Felix’s cheek, “but I’m glad we did this in your bed.”

“_Our_ bed,” Felix gently corrected him, closing his eyes and laying his head against the other. Sylvain’s heart did backflips in his chest as he scooted down under the covers.

“Our bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow burn to kabie is not having them fuck for five chapters and then this happens.   
twitterssssss @setethstiddies or @kabiejurnes! please leave me comments, i love reading them! <3


	6. Part 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvain thought that when he left his family home, he was done dealing with them and his brother Miklan. But par for the course, Miklan always finds a way to try and ruin the peace and happiness Sylvain has worked so hard to find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to make this the Thanksgiving chapter but it's already 4k+ as it is without it so... I'm going to update again before next Thursday LOL. This is a very emotional chapter and it made me Cry™ a couple times writing it >A< But I wanted to start showing Sylvain's trauma... Felix needs a break LOL.

Sylvain wrapped the entirety of his body around Felix as his boyfriend’s alarm went off, his sleepy brain convinced that if Felix couldn’t move, he couldn’t leave for work. When he felt him reaching for the phone anyway, he smiled and moved his hand down gently stroke his morning wood.

“That’s not fair…” Felix mumbled, still half asleep. The alarm was screaming into his ear, so he hoped Sylvain would release him so he could at least hit snooze. But the redhead just hummed against his neck and pressed warm kisses into him, turning what was innocent early morning stiffness into aching whining.

“Mmmmm,” was all Sylvain mumbled as he continued. Felix rolled over to face him and threw his leg up over his side, shuddering at his touch.

“If you let me turn it off now, we’ll have time enough at least to go shower t-together,” he offered with a raised eyebrow at the other, the last word getting caught in his throat when he felt Sylvain’s fully erect dick rub against his own. Sylvain then finally released him, so Felix hurriedly turned off his alarm and pulled the other into the bathroom.

As the water warmed up in the shower, Sylvain had Felix’s back to the wall as he pumped him and sucked a hickey into his collarbone.

“One of these days you’re going to mark me where everyone can see,” Felix said with a raspy laugh, a jolt of electricity shooting down to his groin when his boyfriend’s hands wound their way around to his ass.

“Gotta let everyone know you’re _mine_,” Sylvain replied, looking up into his eyes with a dark smile. Felix blushed from head to toe, pulling up his face to hungrily kiss him. They stayed locked together as they got under the hot running water. Felix pushed his tongue into Sylvain’s mouth and moaned against him as the water hit his back. He whined when his boyfriend pulled away, but gasped when he squatted and unashamedly started sucking him off, hazel eyes goofily squinting up at him as he avoided waterdrops bouncing off Felix.

“Sylvain,” he breathed out roughly, falling back against the shower wall. He momentarily felt greedy for leaning in and taking Sylvain’s dripping hair into his fingers, kinda felt a little bad about thrusting into his lover’s mouth with purpose, but the other man looked all too happy to take him. He smiled for as long as he could before Sylvain’s tongue glided over the head of his dick, letting his head fall back as he tenderly fucked his mouth.

Sylvain’s heart pounded against his chest as he looked up at Felix, who despite having just woken up was extremely into what he was doing for him. After his shitty day before, Sylvain wanted to do any little thing he could to make sure this one started off infinitely better. He reached up and explored Felix’s stomach and chest with experimenting fingers, alternating his mouth’s movements to bring different sounds from the man above him. When it slowed, Felix’s whimpers quickened. Sylvain would be a liar if that didn’t threaten to get him off without Felix even touching him.

“Fuck—” Felix jerked his dick out of Sylvain’s mouth and guided it away from his face, his other hand covering his mouth in embarrassment as he came on his chest. Sylvain just smiled at him and stood up, tilting his head upward so he could smooch him softly.

“I didn’t know you were so excited, honey,” he teased lightly, following his gaze when Felix looked away in embarrassment. “It was cute.”

“S-shut up…”

Sylvain didn’t push the teasing, but kissed on him and made it difficult for Felix to shower. He washed his hair for him though while he scrubbed his body, rubbing his scalp as he hummed.

“I hope you have a good day, baby,” he mumbled against Felix’s ear as he slid on his shoes by the front door. His boyfriend already looked tired despite his full night’s rest. The hug he gave to Sylvain was a tight one, one that told him he didn’t want to leave. “Want me to come get you for lunch later?”

“Yes, please,” Felix smiled, standing up on his toes to kiss him. Sylvain grabbed his keys and laced his fingers into Felix’s as they walked down to get to the parking garage. “Oh yeah, dad called me about Thanksgiving yesterday.”

Sylvain tried to hide his blatant excitement. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. He says you’re more than welcome to come. I didn’t tell him the details, obviously… but he extended the offer when I mentioned you weren’t close with your family,” Felix said as he squeezed Sylvain’s hand. The redhead chuckled and squeezed back.

“Thanks. It’ll be nice not to be totally alone this year. Wow, that was sadder than I intended!” He awkwardly rubbed the back of his head when Felix looked at him with a concerned eyebrow raised. “Well, I guess I wasn’t _totally_ alone. I had Ingrid!” He’d told Felix about his lifelong friend a few times. Ingrid was probably the busiest person Sylvain knew. She owned her own security company, so wasn’t around to hang out a lot like they used to.

Sylvain opened the door for Felix and hurried around to the driver’s side to start the car, warming his hands together once the engine turned over.

“We’re going to have to try out the fireplace soon,” Felix mumbled, pulling his jacket closer around his torso.

“I’m going to stretch out naked in front of it, just for you,” Sylvain winked. Felix choked on the coffee he was sipping.

Sylvain drove Felix to work, kissed him long and hard before he had to go in, then returned home to finish the pitches he had meant to the night before, before he and Felix…

His heart quickened in his chest at the thought, remembering their first-time making love. Felix had been so tender with him, and had taken the time to physically prepare him, which was something he hadn’t necessarily had to deal with before, but it still meant a lot. Ashe had told him horror stories of guys he’d been with that got pissy or irritated when the prep took longer than they liked, which had scared the shit out of Sylvain.

It couldn’t have been more perfect. He’d wanted to since the first week of moving in with Felix. Despite his yearning though, he had wanted to take things slow and show Felix that he had more on his mind than sex. Felix was someone he respected. He’d seen the way it always went when he jumped into someone’s bed too quickly, and in Sylvain’s case it just never worked out well. He had also been chasing women he wasn’t really attracted to, but he digressed.

His phone buzzed as he scanned his keycard to get back into the parking garage at their apartment building, but he waited to look at it until after he parked. He had quickly dropped his habit of looking at it while he was behind the wheel because Felix had actually taken it from him at one point and threatened to throw it out the window.

His heart dropped down into his stomach when he saw the contact-less text illuminated on the screen. He knew it by heart despite having deleted it a year ago.

_Heard from Ingrid, bro. Really?_ Was all it said, but that was enough to make Sylvain grunt in frustration and squeeze his phone in annoyance. He knew for a fact he hadn’t ‘heard’ from Ingrid. It was more likely he’d cornered her while she was getting coffee and berated her into talking about Sylvain.

“Fucking prick.” He deleted the notification and shuffled back up to their apartment, anxiety building up in his stomach the more time passed. He hadn’t heard from his brother in at least 5 months. Their last meeting wasn’t pleasant either, especially after he’d learned about Sylvain’s sexuality. Despite being essentially disowned by their family, he had been all up in arms about their remaining son being gay.

Sylvain deleted his brother’s message and tried to put him as far out of his mind as he could. Miklan didn’t even live in the state anymore, as far as Sylvain knew, so he wasn’t too worried about him showing up and causing trouble. He’d be damned if he dared to and cause problems in front of Felix. Sylvain would kill him before he let that happen.

He fed Barbara once inside, happy to take his mind off of the negatives in the morning. Felix had texted him a picture of him and Rosemary, the little girl from before who he’d seen walking. Sylvain told Barbara all about her, endlessly going on about how proud of her he was while the cat just ate her food and meowed every now and then.

His phone buzzed again, breaking him out of his happy reverie. He nervously looked at the notification. Another contactless text.

_You’ve probably blocked my number but I’m sending this anyway. _Sylvain mentally kicked himself. Why _hadn’t_ he blocked Miklan’s number? _Mom and Dad have been talking about you a lot. They miss their favorite son_.

_Fuck_, Sylvain thought to himself. If Miklan was mentioning their parents in such a way, it meant he was probably back in town. He figured it was only to stir up shit like he always did, but then remembered with it being this close to the holidays, their father had probably reluctantly called him to help at his company. Their father was a class act piece of shit like that: disown your son but only enough that he’ll come crawling back in any attempt to win back your favor when you need him.

Another buzz. _Ingrid wouldn’t tell me where you live. But I’d love to get together for coffee or something, dear brother._ Sylvain wanted to smash his device, to go to the phone store and get a completely new number, but something unknown, something very strong deep inside him kept him from doing it. His hands shook as he typed a reply.

_I want nothing to do with you. If you see any of my friends, do not speak to them. We can live in peace without being in each other’s lives._

He knew Miklan was waiting by his phone at this point, unsurprised at how quickly his replies came through. _Where’s the fun in that though, Sylvain?_

**

Sylvain decided he wouldn’t tell Felix about Miklan’s texts. Felix admittedly didn’t even really know about the extent of how terrible Sylvain’s brother and family were, but only because Sylvain refused to talk about them. His family as a whole was a pretty touchy subject, one he’d tell Felix about eventually. He just didn’t want him even thinking about anything else negative if he could help it, given everything else going on.

He dressed himself warmly to go get the other for lunch, happy he was going to be able to take him from the hospital even if only for an hour.

Felix was nearly bouncing on his feet out on the sidewalk when Sylvain drove up. He didn’t even wait for him to get out and open the door for him like normal, but instead threw himself inside the passenger’s seat and attacked him with kisses.

“I’m so happy to see you,” he said against Sylvain’s cheek, hands fidgeting excitedly against the back of his jacket. Sylvain suppressed a yelp of childish joy. He was sure Felix could just silently look at him and it would skyrocket him to the moon.

Sylvain held his hand over the center console as he drove them to the restaurant, listening happily as Felix talked about his morning with his patients. Some of the stories seemed very sad, but Sylvain was happy they had therapy with someone as loving and caring despite the unfortunate circumstances. Seeing just how much Felix lit up when he talked about his work wasn’t too bad either.

They sat down in the restaurant on opposite sides of the booth, meeting their hands in the middle of the table.

“Do you know what Ashe is doing for Thanksgiving?” Sylvain asked as a waiter who favored him walked by them.

“He tried to tell me his siblings were going to come into town to be with him but… somehow I doubt that, unfortunately,” Felix said sadly, moving one hand away from his boyfriend to glance at the menu. “But I’ve already asked if he’ll join us.” Sylvain lit up and nodded. Ashe’s brother and sister weren’t bad people, but were about as reliable as an old car. Their intentions were good, but something would always happen that prevented them from coming around the holidays.

“Who’s all going to be there?” continued Sylvain, unashamedly already certain of his order. He got the same thing every time they came here. Why fix something that’s not broken?

“Just the usual. Dad and I, but now you and Ashe will be there too,” he smiled.

“I can’t wait.”

Sylvain meant it, too. The past few years were a nightmare for him because of his family, and whenever the holidays came around it was only worse. Constantly having to provide excuses why his girlfriend from a month or so ago wasn’t with him anymore or having to answer ‘when are you going to come work with the family, son?’ questions whenever he tried to talk about his ‘sissy’ job. It was going to be his first holiday ever away from them, but he could not wait.

They ate their lunch in a buzzing excitement, Sylvain listing off dishes he could make to bring. His phone buzzed suddenly six times in succession, instantly snapping Sylvain out of his good mood.

“Damn it… he mumbled angrily, unlocking the screen to see six texts from Miklan.

“Everything okay?” Felix asked worriedly. Sylvain bit his lip, not wanting to hide anything from him. He also didn’t want to bring down the mood, but his boyfriend’s face and squeeze from his hand made his heart skip a few beats with anxious confidence.

He let a long breath out of his chest and slumped down in the booth, holding on to Felix’s hand.

“It’s Miklan.” When Felix’s hand tightened even more around him, he smiled sadly at him. “He’s been bothering me all morning. Apparently, he ran into Ingrid and bullied her into talking about me.” Felix shook his head in frustration. “He keeps saying stupid shit about our parents. And stupid shit about _me_.”

“You need to block his number, Syl,” Felix replied sadly. The redhead nodded, reaching for his phone and pulling up the unnamed contact. He didn’t hesitate as he hit ‘block’, but his stomach bubbled anxiously still, knowing this was not the last he’d hear from his brother.

“There. And if I hear from him again or know he’s bothering Ingrid I’ll go beat his ass…” Felix chuckled and patted his hand, reaching for his wallet. Their server had come by and set the check on the table. “Nah, let me, honey!”

“You don’t have to,” Felix offered with a concerned look, knowing Sylvain’s money had been a bit more stretched due to the lack of freelance work. When his boyfriend insisted, he smiled weakly at him and nodded. “Thank you.”

Sylvain parked in the hospital’s garage when they returned with enough time to sit together for a bit before Felix had to go back. He wasn’t surprised when he was attacked with kisses and desperate touches but smirked at Felix all the same and obliged him. When Felix pulled away from a wet, intense kiss and checked his watch, Sylvain playfully pouted at the utter betrayal of his boyfriend leaving him with a boner.

“That’s… that’s just cruel, babe…” he teased, exiting the car behind him to walk him up to his floor. He was thankfully able to will it away as they walked into the hospital.

“It just means you’ll have more fun with me later,” Felix replied quietly, smiling innocently up at him as they stepped into the elevator. Felix was such a damn tease when he wanted to be. Sylvain ate it the fuck up.

“Oh, hey guys”! Ashe happened to be standing at the check in station when they reached Felix’s floor. He beamed at them, setting down a clipboard and walking over. “Did you guys enjoy your lunch?”

“We did! Felix told me we’ll be joining him for Thanksgiving!”

“Yeah… my brother and sister told me they have to work. I figured,” he mumbled to Felix, smiling bashfully and shrugging.

“We’ll have a great time!”

“Yes, we will. Alright, love…” Felix turned to Sylvain and gently pulled down his chin so he could peck him on the lips. “I have to go get back to work… but feel free to stay and bother Ashe,” he smiled, waving at them as he returned to his office.

“I love youuuu,” Sylvain called after him with a grin, squirming in his shoes when Felix blushed the same color as his own hair. He didn’t miss a beat though and enthusiastically called back.

“I love you mooooooore.”

**

Sylvain’s phone rang at exactly five p.m. He smiled, not looking at the contact because he figured it’d be Felix telling him to come get him. His blood ran cold in his veins when he heard his brother’s voice.

“Me again.”

“What the fuck do you want?” Sylvain hastily stood up from his desk chair and began to pace. He felt nauseous just hearing Miklan over the phone. Whose phone was he calling him from? Not knowing where he was-- _fuck_, he could truly be anywhere, and Sylvain wouldn’t know unless the doorbell rang, or he heard a knock on a window or something-- the notion truly made Sylvain ill and anxious to his core.

“Tsk, that’s no way to talk to me, Syl. I’m only trying to _talk_ to you.” Miklan’s words were innocent but were dripping with venom and long-standing disdain.

“I don’t want to fucking talk to you,” Sylvain forcibly laughed and went to the front door of their apartment to triple check he had dead-bolted it.

“I just can’t imagine why.”

“You _fucking know why_, Miklan.” Sylvain nearly threw his phone against the wall in anger. His brother’s words broke him inside and out. He padded along to every window and locked them, even if the only thing underneath was five stories of brick wall. “You… tortured me. The minute you suspected I was different, you beat the hell out of me and convinced me there was something wrong with me. The _fuck_ you mean: ‘you just can’t imagine why’…”

Miklan didn’t have a response for that. He never did.

“And now, as an adult,” Sylvain laughed disgustingly, “A _grown fucking adult_ like me is still terrified of you. I thought you were long gone. I thought I could just fucking exist away from you and _them_. Can I not just do that? Can you fucking let me live? Now that I’m happy? Is that okay with you?”

“You know, you have some nerve talking to _me_ about wanting to live happily and peacefully, Sylvain.” Miklan, who had been obnoxiously teasing him with his words before was now heard getting more and more angry through the earpiece. “In case you haven’t _forgotten,_ our parents cast me aside as soon as _you_ came along—”

“You still could have been my fucking brother!” Sylvain’s voice broke, the weight on his chest stopping him in his worried tracks around his home-- the safe place he could call home, the place where Felix was-- “You could have still been there for me, like I wanted you to. _I_ didn’t cast you aside. I wanted us to love each other, to prove to our terrible parents that we were better than whatever bullshit they forced upon you when I was born.” His chest heaved with painful sobs, his eyes blurry from the hot tears pouring out of his eyes.

“Don’t… don’t call me again until you’re ready to have a serious conversation. I’m done living in fear of you. I’m… happy for the first time in my life. I’m away from mom and dad, who, you can clearly fucking see now aren’t great people we should cling to. I’m away from every person who told me I’d never fucking be anything.

“And that is with a man by my side and in my heart. I don’t give a shit if any of you approve of that, but that’s how it is. And that’s how it’s going to stay. Quit trying to terrorize me because you’re angry with our parents. Don’t direct that at me. Take it up with them. Goodbye, Miklan.”

Sylvain ended the call and threw his phone to the floor in sweeping anxiety, squatting and wrapping his arms around his knees as he wept. He still felt fear and unresolved anger towards his brother despite his words, but he simultaneously felt that enormous weight he’d carried for years starting to ease up.

“F-Fuck…” he stammered, clenching his body roughly wherever he could reach as he rocked back and forth. “Fucking prick…”

He jumped when Barbara’s meowing tore his attention away from the bloody battlefield that was his emotions. She purred against him and bumped her head up against his legs, roaming in circles around his crouched figure. He sniffled and pulled her into his arms, wiping his eyes in embarrassment. If he was anxious about their pet seeing him cry, he couldn’t even fathom what he’d feel if Felix had seen all that…

“Syl—Sylvain—”

The redhead’s eyes shot to the front door, where Felix was standing with a small bouquet of flowers and a bag from their corner store. Sylvain fell back onto his ass in shock, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of him.

“F-Felix… What all did you hear—”

“I heard it _all_… what the hell, Syl?” His voice was wrought with worry, shaking slightly as he threw everything onto the couch and came to collapse near his boyfriend. He held the redhead’s trembling shoulders and steadied his face with his forehead, soothing him by rubbing everywhere he could. “Shh… He’s not here, sweetheart; it’s okay. Look at me. Syl… please look at me.”

Sylvain strongly fought his gaze, tears still haphazardly falling from his hazel eyes. When Felix recognized it was an anxiety attack and not his usual stubbornness, he simply brought the other down into his lap and let him cry, holding him closely. The redhead immediately submitted and sobbed into him, achingly grabbing for his shirt, his skin, any concrete thing he could to prove that Felix was actually there comforting him, that Miklan wasn’t waiting outside to drive him somewhere and leave him like he did when they were kids.

“I’m here, baby. Let it out,” Felix soothed him, cautiously bending down to smooth the hair out of Sylvain’s face. He didn’t want to spook or frighten him with any unwanted touch, not knowing how he’d react since this was Sylvain’s first ever panic attack in front of him. But his action seemed to calm the other, for his eyes grew wide as if he realized where he was after all of that.

“Felix…” Sylvain embarrassedly wiped his eyes and stared up at him, cheeks stained with tears and eyes bloodshot to hell and back. “M-Miklan—”

“I know, Syl, I know.” Felix felt himself tearing up at the sight of his lover like this, heart feeling an angry form of love and overprotectiveness he’d not yet ever felt. To see Sylvain, _his Sylvain_, the one who was always there to crack a joke or lighten the mood after one of Felix’s atrocious days at work, in such a completely destroyed state made his blood pressure skyrocket. “Come on, let me at least get you more comfortable.” He pulled his boyfriend to his feet, gently kissing his hands and fingertips while he pulled him up to the couch. Felix wrapped him up in one of their softest blankets and set the redhead down on his chest.

Sylvain was quiet, but it was immediately clear how much Felix’s presence had assuaged the anxiety attack. He sniffled against his chest, face hot in the aftermath of the whirlwind of emotions that had caused it.

“Can I get you anything?”

“No, thank you. Just stay with me,” Sylvain quietly begged, moving his arms out of the blanket to wrap around Felix’s torso.

“Of course, … of _course_, baby, anything you need.”

Before he nestled back down into his lap, Sylvain peered at the forgotten bouquet of flowers, more tears welling up in his eyes. “For me?”

Felix laughed happily and nodded, reaching for them and showing him a better view. It was an arrangement of soft white gardenias, with a single red chrysanthemum in the middle. He hesitated telling him why he’d chosen such an arrangement, but the tired, happy look on Sylvain’s face at the sight of them told him he would appreciate the good news.

“I got all next week off. I wanted to surprise you tonight and take you out to celebrate, but I’d much prefer being in with you instead,” he said softly, laying down the bouquet and nuzzling his face down against Sylvain’s.

“Babe… that’s great! Oh my god…” He sat up, still mostly on Felix’s lap, and wiped his eyes hastily as a smile remolded his face. “I’m… so sorry you came home to such a _mess_, I—”

“Sylvain!” Felix held him firmly, tears threatening his eyes as well now. “_Don’t_… Don’t apologize to me….” He struggled to formulate any other meaningful words, so he just held Sylvain’s face in his hands and kissed him, long, soft, and sweet. “Let me be strong for you, too.”

The dam broke on both of them, and in seconds they were each bubbling, sniffling messes in each other’s arms. Sylvain actually had the nerve to giggle when Felix hiccupped on his tears, earning him a playful pinch to his cheek.

“You’re rotten…” Felix mumbled in adoration, wrapping his arms around Sylvain’s back and kissing him. “I love you.”

“And I love you, Fe. I promise… I promise I’ll tell you about Miklan, about my family…”

Felix smiled down at him as he wiped his cheeks, nodding understandingly. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere, my love. We have all the time in the world.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twitter: @setethstiddies! I read and love every single comment you guys leave ;w; please come scream with me about this AU, i am. OBSESSED. with it!!!! ;A;


	7. Part 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Thanksgiving, the best time of year for trauma, family, and food <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a few things before notes/things i had to explain; this ch is over 7k words so bear with me hahahah. this chapter is.... very sad and emotionally charged but i PROMISE it's worth it and there's a happy ending! also, big thanks to Jess (tsunderestorm), Nat (natendo_art), Jusbene, Echo, Tree, and Ash. Thank you guys for always listening to my dumb whiney bullshit, i love you guys <3
> 
> so, notes!
> 
> 1\. i can't remember if i ever said glenn was dead but he's alive here, sorry for the lack of continuity LOL;  
2\. i used to be a horsegirl as a child and it kinda shows in this ch...  
3\. i realize my concept of how long the felix and ogden saga has been going on is a bit off bc my memory kinda sucks LOL. in this AU felix is about 31. ogden assaulted him 3 years ago, which was right after Ogden and Glenn broke up (that's going to be explored more in future chs but wanted to introduce it now)  
4\. 'sylvain looks like the guy who'd eat you out in your highschool bedroom and then smile sweetly at you across the dinner table after' idea is from @tsunderestorm!!! THANK YOU BB FOR LETTING ME USE THIS IDEA....  
5\. yes, the beer and shirts is a direct reference to always sunny. they're not squashing their beef this thanksgiving but they're absolutely trying to beat boggs >:3

Sylvain was alone in a dark room. The only noise that could be heard was that goddamn drip of water that had haunted him his entire adolescence, echoing off the walls around him. He tried to move, to head away from the noise, but couldn’t. He could see no restraints around his arms or legs, but he still couldn’t move from the spot. Each time he tried to pull away from the invisible, seemingly magnetic force rooting him there, a jolt of pain shot up through his body and made him wince.

_“Sylvain.”_

The redhead grunted as he turned his head to find the source of the voice that had spoken to him. With dread in his heart he saw a flash of red illuminate the room, bringing forth the realization that he was back in the well. His arm and legs were once again broken, rendering him unable to move. The crimson glow came from above but also in the water below him, where his blood was staining it.

_“Miklan, let me out. I can’t get up. I need your help.” _

He’d had this conversation with Miklan in a hundred similar nightmares before. Miklan wasn’t going to let him out of the well. He was going to laugh—_fuck_, the laughter was coming and Sylvain could feel it in his skin before his ears heard it. He wished he could raise his arms to block out that evil sound of his brother laughing at him, but in seconds it thundered throughout the well and permeated every bit of Sylvain that existed.

He had to be asleep. But why couldn’t he wake up? _Goddess_, he just wanted to wake up and be out of the well, back in bed with Felix and Barbara—

_“I’ll never let you out of there, Sylvain. You have to stay down there. And you’ll be in there forever.”_

Even in all his years of nightmares about this horrific event from his childhood, Miklan had never said _that_. Sylvain’s mind was playing tricks on him, but at the moment he wholeheartedly believed them. This felt too real; he could feel the ice-cold water on his legs, the damp, dark emptiness of the well. The view of his brother up above him, laughing without even evil mirth in his voice and a blank stare on his face, was sickening.

Sylvain’s eyes dilated in the dark, his heart threatening to rip out of his chest. It felt as though it didn’t want to take any more of what was happening, wanted to leave Sylvain forever to be free of the pain he carried inside of him—

_“I’ve got you, Syl.” _

Sylvain looked to his right and gasped. Another new occurrence for these nightmares, Felix stood beside him, holding out his hand hopefully. Sylvain wanted to reach out, to grab his hand and get out of this nightmare, but his body wouldn’t allow him. Tears blurred his vision, and he thought he saw Felix turn away, but felt his hands gliding up his arms before wrapping around his chest.

_“I’ve still got you, Syl. We’ll find a way out of here. I promise.”_

Sylvain pressed his face gratefully Felix, crying more freely and smiling against him. Miklan still loomed overhead, was still preventing him from climbing out of the well, but now Felix was with him.

“Felix… Fe…”

“Sylvain?”

Sylvain opened his eyes and blinked furiously, taking a moment to process that he was awake now and was actually crying. He went to wipe the tears away but Felix’s fingers beat him to it, caressing his face with a worried expression he could see through the dim light of their bedroom.

“Bad dream…” Sylvain mumbled, reaching out and pulling Felix to his chest. The other man’s hands followed suit and met at the top of his back, squeezing him gently to quell his trembling shoulders.

“You were crying and… whimpering, love,” Felix said sadly, hugging onto Sylvain. “I was just about to wake you when you came to on your own.”

“Thanks, honey,” Sylvain replied with a soft chuckle, exhaling in relief at the mere presence of Felix and Barbara. She was spread out between their heads, long, lanky legs threatening to poke their eyes. “I mean it,” he added, sticking his knee in between Felix’s to bring them closer together. “That one was… really bad. But you were there.”

Felix looked up at him in surprise. “I was?”

Sylvain recounted the nightmare, telling Felix it had almost been the same one he’d been having for the last twenty years. Miklan had been rotten to him their entire childhood, but when he was six, his older brother had nearly killed him by pushing him into a well on their family’s land. He’d taken him out there in the pretense of them riding horses together. When Sylvain had offered to get the horses water, Miklan had bent his arm back far enough around his back to break it before literally picking him up and throwing him down into the 30-foot deep well.

“He—he did _w-what_?!” Felix shot up in bed, beside himself in horror. When Sylvain showed him the scars on his legs from where his right tibia had pierced through his shin and the fibula of his left leg had gone out the side, he collapsed against his boyfriend’s chest, shaking as he cried. “Sylvain… _why_ didn’t your parents _do anything—” _

“Trust me, babe, I ask myself that still,” Sylvain smiled sadly, smoothing Felix’s hair. His lips quivered, not wanting to cry any more than he already had, but his chest still ached from the nightmare. “But… I made it out. Maybe not totally okay,” he joked lightly, brushing a chunk of Felix’s hair behind his ear. “But I’m here. And I’m away from them now. And… I have you.”

Felix sniffled and sobbed brokenly, clutching Sylvain’s shirt and drenching the front his tears.

“Sylvain, if I _ever_ meet them, I’ll—” he forced himself to stop, despite the fact he had more than half a mind to find them now, even at this hour, and kill them.

“Shh, it’s okay, baby.” Sylvain smiled weakly down at him, his tears just as intense but much quieter.

They held each other, holding on achingly and unrelenting. Every time Felix thought he was in the clear, he’d look up at Sylvain’s loving, innocent face and start all over. Without the bias of their love and relationship, he couldn’t even begin to imagine someone going through such abuse and torture yet still wearing the smile that Sylvain wore.

Felix wanted to spend the rest of his life ensuring that smile had a foundation and wasn’t forced, or worse a mask to make others happy.

**

“Fraldarius! What are you and Sylvain up to today? Flayn kind of won’t shut up about seeing you, knowing we got to and she wasn’t there.”

Felix smiled as he listened to his voicemail when they woke up hours later. Byleth’s voice was cheerful and happy, and she could be heard playfully wrestling the phone away from Flayn.

“If you’re free, Seteth and I would absolutely love to have you guys over. Let me know!” Felix disconnected the call to his mailbox and slid off the bed, padding along the carpet to the bathroom. He wrapped his arms around Sylvain’s waist from behind and kissed his bare back as he brushed his teeth.

“Would you be up for going back to Byleth and Seteth’s today?” he inquired, hands mindlessly roaming down to his groin and hooking onto the elastic of his underwear.

“Oh my gosh, yes! I want to see that cute little baby…” He continued brushing without noticing Felix’s fingers for a solid fifteen seconds before the toothbrush slowed in his mouth and he peered knowingly back at Felix with a smug smile. Sylvain hummed happily, feigning innocence while Felix pressed kisses up against him and began to explore.

Thirty minutes later, he returned to the bathroom nearly doubled over in a waddle from his sore legs. Felix followed closely behind him, chuckling as he clenched his ass cheeks while running the shower. With a blush, Sylvain stepped into the still cold water and refused to look at his boyfriend while he let his cum drip out of his ass.

“That’s a good look for you, babe…” Felix smirked, gently pushing him back up against the shower wall. Sylvain dramatically put his hand over his mouth in shock, casting his gaze downward sheepishly.

“I can’t believe you’d reduce me to nothing than a mere receptacle for your _sin…_”

They both snickered like idiots, wrapping up in each other’s arms briefly before showering for real. Felix carefully shaved Sylvain’s chest while the taller man lovingly detangled his hair and ran conditioner through it. Their shower routine had become second nature to them at this point, the rare times they didn’t bathe together feeling odd and empty.

At Byleth and Seteth’s house, Flayn was standing on the porch waving excitedly before they could even park. Her magnificent green hair, which Sylvain could only figure was rivaled by her father’s, bounced with her as she jumped up and down at the sight of Felix. He placed her age at about twelve or thirteen, but admittedly didn’t know too much about kids to be sure.

“Felix!!” She pounced on him in an embrace as soon as he was out of the car.

“I’ve missed you, Flayn,” Felix smiled warmly, face flushing happily when she whipped out her smartphone to take a selfie with him.

“Come on, Felix… do it with me!” She nudged him expectantly while she held up her fingers in a peace sign.

“Oh, for _goddess’s _sake,” he chuckled, rolling his eyes. He snuck a glance back at Sylvain and made a small duck face with his lips, throwing up his fingers conspicuously near the bottom of the frame. Sylvain snorted, heart warming at the joyful laughter captured on Flayn’s sweet face in the picture.

“Will you take selfies with _me_ like that?” He asked Felix, following the two up the stairs and into the house.

“Not on your _life_.”

“Daddy, they are here!” Flayn called out as soon as they were inside, kicking her boots off and dragging Felix into the living room by his hand. Seteth had Eisner in a cloth baby carrier around his chest, preparing sandwiches at the kitchen counter. He wiped his hands off on a small towel and came around to greet them.

“Pleasure to see you both, gentlemen,” he smiled. “Byleth is out feeding the horses. Would you like to take them out there, Flayn? Lunch will be ready soon.”

“Oh my goodness, yes! Felix, Felix! Would you and Sylvain care to join me?” she asked excitedly, practically already pulling him towards the back door.

“Let’s go! I love horses,” Sylvain smiled, waving to Seteth as they followed her outside.

“How’s school, Flayn?” Felix asked her, happily grinning down at her as she swung their arms while they walked. She made a face and stuck her tongue out.

“It is not challenging enough, if I must be honest… I always finish my work long before my classmates. But then I am not allowed to talk with them! I do not think that is fair,” she remarked sadly, frowning at the ground. Sylvain, who was just behind them, clutched his chest at how sweet she was.

“Have you asked your teacher if you can help out some of the kids in your class?” Felix inquired. “I’m positive there’s some who want help but might be afraid to ask for it,” he offered kindly. Her face lit up at the suggestion.

“Yes, I should! There is one boy in my class; he does not speak much. I wonder if I could be of help to him?”

Felix nodded. Sylvain watched him as he spoke to Flayn, a warm, inviting feeling taking up residence in his heart at the sight. Felix was so naturally good at talking to kids, kids of all ages apparently. All of his worries and anxieties seemed to dissipate when he interacted with them. It made Sylvain want to buy a house with a picket fence, adopt some kids, and live happily ever after with him in the countryside.

“Hey guys!” Byleth waved them over from inside a paddock, shaking excess hay off of her gloved hands. “Glad you guys could stop by,” she smiled, patting one of their horses on the neck and walking towards the gate.

“They’re so beautiful,” Sylvain said happily, bouncing on the balls of his feet when three of them followed her humorously.

“If you like to ride, you can ride Faerghus if you’d like,” Byleth offered, smirking up at the cheeky mahogany colored Arabian nibbling on her hair behind her, running her hand along his nose.

“No way, seriously?!” He smiled over at Felix and slipped into the paddock gate. Flayn followed excitedly, leaving Felix to rest up against the fence with a happy smile on his face.

“I will take you to get his saddle! I am going to ride Leicaster, mama,” she smiled at Byleth, hopping excitedly beside Sylvain. Felix warmly waved them off, smiling at Byleth as she joined him at the fence.

“She has not stopped talking about you, Felix. She loves you so much,” Byleth said softly, leaning up against the railing and crossing her arms.

“She’s a really great kid. You and Seteth have done a great job with her,” he replied kindly. They watched as Flayn retrieved a saddle from inside the barn and brought it out so Sylvain could strap it securely to the Arabian. She set her own horse up proudly, explaining to a genuinely interested Sylvain the special details about her saddle and tack.

“You know… her school has an opening coming up for a speech specialist.”

Felix’s head shot sideways over to Byleth, mouth hanging open slightly in disbelief.

“Byleth… no way…” Felix couldn’t help but smile like an idiot, heart thumping in his chest.

“Yes. Clara is retiring after the school year ends in May. I really think you should apply. I can give you a recommendation to our contacts on the hiring board, as can Seteth.” Her hand had come to rest on his shoulder, squeezing it meaningfully. “I know it’d be a pain to wait until then, but… it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

Felix felt so happy he could have cried. His chest tightened for a multitude of reasons. Were he to get the position, he’d be able to see his favorite family every day at work.

Byleth and Seteth had been a large source of strength all throughout grad school but also after, always there to let him bum on their couch for a few days when he was fighting with his boyfriend at the time. They also knew about his most recent ex and had offered to help with legal fees should he want to press charges. When Rodrigue had been dealing with a row that nearly destroyed their family ties with his brother, Glenn, Byleth and Seteth inadvertently filled his shoes like surrogate guardians. This had continued, and they only strengthened their relationship with Felix once he and his family had reconciled.

Felix watched Sylvain, arguably the largest source of light and happiness in his world.

If he were to finally break free of the strong hold the hospital and Ogden unfortunately had over him, he’d finally be able to let go of that darkness in his past and move on. He’d be one step closer in becoming a better version of himself for Sylvain, who he thought to only deserve the very best he could be.

“I’ll go apply right now if I can use your computer…”

“Felix, yes! Absolutely. Flayn! Be careful, we’ll be back out in a minute!” She waved to her and Sylvain, hopping over the fence and happily taking Felix back to the house.

Sylvain wondered what they were leaving for. Felix had looked extraordinarily happy in the moments before they made their departure, so figured it could only be something positive. Flayn was also somehow making his day even brighter with her joy and sweetness, so he was happy to continue riding around the large paddock with her.

Felix took a deep breath, cursor lingering over the submit button. He had imported his resume, filled out the paperwork and recommendation list, and now only had to send it all off. His world was momentarily stopped and quiet, only being able to hear his breathing in his chest. He imagined the look on Ogden’s face if he were to go and hand him his resignation letter. Would he react violently? Quietly, yet still menacingly? Felix made a mental note to bring someone with him when he did it. _Goddess_, he knew how far gone he was into this fucked up situation when quitting was going to be a huge risk if he was alone.

His mind overtook him, horrific memories bubbling around in his brain and stomach when Ogden entered his headspace. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to will them away, but that man’s overpowering glare, silently instructing him to lock his office door after he’d barged in minutes before Felix was meant to leave quickly trapped him. The assault had only happened once, but it’d been enough to instill a deep rooted fear of the man in Felix. The memory was three years old, yet still a fresh, bloody, gaping wound on his conscious. Ever since the incident, Ogden had been able to essentially tell Felix to do whatever he wanted. Felix was ashamed, but despite multiple attempts to tell someone about what had happened, Ogden remained head of the department.

_“Doctor Ogden is a _married_ man, Fraldarius. Do you expect us to believe you_?”

_“Oh, but Felix… he’s so _handsome_! Lighten up a little!”_

_“We will investigate, but since you’re the only one with these accusations we do not have a lot to go off.”_

_“You look so much like Glenn, Felix.”_

_“Don’t you fucking _dare_ say his name to me again. You broke his heart all those years ago. You have no right to speak his name now.” _

Felix blinked a few tears furiously out of his eyes as he slammed his finger down on the mouse to hit submit. He quickly put the computer back to sleep and swatted them off his cheeks, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself. He would do just about anything to be free from his captor, and knew this big step was the correct choice.

He steadied himself in front of the door of Byleth and Seteth’s study, hoping Sylvain wouldn’t notice he had cried even a little. He joined them in the dining room, where Seteth had served lunch.

“All set?” Byleth asked with a smile, taking Eisner from her husband to set him in his highchair.

“Yes. Can I?” he asked her softly, holding out his arms. She beamed and nodded, handing the slightly fussy toddler over to him. Eisner giggled goofily once Felix took him in his arms, grabbing onto the ends of his hair and shirt happily. Felix fetched his food from Seteth and sat down with him on his lap to feed him.

“Thank you, Felix,” Seteth grinned, sitting down in between his wife and daughter.

“Of course. It’s been a while since we’ve had a patient this small,” Felix cooed gently.

They ate their lunch in pleasant happiness, Flayn proclaiming her new love of Sylvain and desire for him to come back and ride horses with her again. Sylvain’s hand lovingly held on to Felix’s knee under the table, a warmth spreading through his body at their company and the sight of him holding the baby. He couldn’t help but laugh at how Felix spoke to him as though he were older and could reply like normal, as it was probably the most _Felix_ way he could possibly behave.

“Please come back soon, you two!” Flayn hugged both Felix and Sylvain warmly as they stood out by their car to leave. It was late afternoon now, the sky growing darker and darker thanks to the shorter days of late fall.

“Absolutely. Don’t forget to ask your teacher about helping that boy in your class,” Felix smiled, pecking the top of her head with a kiss. He kissed Eisner too and handed him back to Byleth, a flurry of butterflies fluttering in his stomach when he saw Sylvain watching him interact with the kids. His tall, strong form was leaned up against the car in a very dad-like way--

Felix’s mind flashed to a daydream of him picking up their kids from school, bringing them home and the two of them helping them with their homework. Sylvain would absolutely be the kind of father who would dress up if his little one asked him too, whether that be a beautiful princess or a menacing reenactment of the Hulk. He’d listen to their fears, their worries, anything they wanted to tell him, all with an open heart.

The thought was enough to actually bring a choking cough out of Felix, who wanted to stop himself from tearing up. He hugged Byleth and Seteth and waved to the little family as they got in Sylvain’s car. His hand immediately gripped Sylvain’s over the center console as he drove away, trying not to fidget in his seat from the onslaught of hopeful wishing that invaded his mind.

“Those two have such good kids,” Sylvain smiled happily, lacing his and Felix’s fingers together.

“Yes… they really do.”

“Do you want kids someday?” The question came out of Sylvain’s mouth and nearly gave Felix whiplash. “Wait.. that’s a stupid question,” Sylvain chuckled. “I should ask _how many_ kids you want.”

Felix’s face flushed and his chest tightened, hand squeezing his boyfriend’s. “Two. Just two. Any combination. And if they were to discover that they didn’t align with whatever gender they were born with—”

“I love you, Felix.”

Felix leaned over the console and wrapped his other arm around Sylvain’s chest as best he could while he drove. “I love you too, Sylvain.”

“I think two would be great. Not too far apart, either. My brother was a lot older than I was and aside from everything else that drove us apart,” he chuckled when Felix squeezed him meaningfully, “I don’t think the age gap helped.”

“So… you want kids too?” Felix couldn’t help but sound hopeful. His lips quivered in excitement when Sylvain nodded excitedly. He gazed up at him as the look softened into a gentle smile.

“It might be a bit selfish. But I want to give our kids a _far_ superior life than I had growing up.”

It took Felix a moment, but when his brain fully processed ‘our’, his face flushed crimson and his breath caught in his throat. Sylvain fully meant and intended what he said. He just smiled wordlessly down at Felix and moved his gaze knowingly back to the road in front of him.

**

Felix’s week off work was exactly the down time he needed. He received an email from the county about his application letting him know that they’d bring him in for an interview after the Thanksgiving holiday, which only added to his list of things to look forward to. He and Sylvain were able to stay up late together every single night, taking breaks from watching bad movies, cooking, and playing video games together to fuck in nearly every room of their apartment. They’d nearly stained the couch during one tryst when they’d forgotten a blanket below them but laughed uncontrollably at the prospect of one of their friends seeing the stain and immediately judging them.

On Thanksgiving morning, he awoke to the smell of brown sugar and cinnamon filling up the apartment. He felt as though he were floating like a cartoon character to the kitchen, smiling goofily when he saw Sylvain cooking with nothing but an apron on.

“You’re going to burn your ass doing that,” Felix joked, picking up the mug of coffee that he’d set out for him.

“Then you’ll have to kiss it and make it better,” Sylvain winked, stirring a pot on the stovetop while peering in the oven to check on his pie. Felix watched him innocently as he bustled around the kitchen, the sheer domesticity of the situation making him restless and giddy. He offered to help his boyfriend multiple times, but he was shooed away and told to relax every time he did.

“How is your father going to fully accept me into the family if his son’s lover can’t _cook_?” he joked. Felix scoffed and rolled his eyes with a grin.

“He already likes you more than me, don’t you worry. He texted me last night triple checking to make sure you were still coming.”

Sylvain did a silly little dance and tiptoed over to Felix, wrapping his arms around him and kissing his forehead. “Well then he’ll like me even more when I feed you guys.” Sylvain really did have quite the spread already: ten pounds of mashed potatoes were boiling on the back burner, an apple pie was baking beautifully in the oven, and he was currently mixing together the ingredients for cornbread pudding in a large bowl.

“He’s going to be very happy, as am I,” Felix mumbled, kissing him softly on the lips and nibbling his bottom lip.

Felix finally gave up asking to help and snuggled onto the sofa with Barbara, buttering her up with treats and pets before attempting to put her in her carrier. She wasn’t a fan of travel, but they were probably going to end up staying at Rodrigue’s so they didn’t want to leave her alone overnight. She’d thankfully settle down when she realized where as was, as they had lived with Felix’s father for two years before moving into their current home.

Ashe knocked on their door around noon, just as Felix and Sylvain were pulling on their shoes to leave.

“Hey buddy, just in time!” Sylvain said happily, hugging him when he stepped over the threshold.

“I hope I’m not pushing it too much…” Ashe replied sheepishly, giggling when Felix joined in on their hug. He pulled the group hug away from the door while Sylvain closed it, and they remained wrapped around Ashe for a solid minute.

“You two…” Ashe mumbled happily, wiggling out of the embrace and holding up the bag in his hands. “I brought lots of wine. White for Sylvain and myself and red for you, Felix.”

“My sweet, sweet Ashe…” Felix held his hands together and smiled at their friend, offering to take it for him. “We’re not leaving for about fifteen minutes. Dad is stopping by the Blaiddyd’s so he can say hello to Lambert, so we have a little extra time.”

“Oh, God… if only we could have Dedue’s cooking for the holiday today…” Sylvain held his fist against his mouth in wistful sadness, thankfully clutching Ashe’s offered hand in comfort.

“I’m actually positive he’ll send Dad home with samples. He does every year,” Felix laughed, making a mental note to call over there later to talk with everyone, especially Dedue’s sister.

They made a few trips to the car, loading it up with food, overnight bags, and Barbara, who was meowing as if she were being taken to her death. Felix lovingly cooed into her carrier, pressing treats through the mesh to attempt to appease her. Soon after, they were on the road to make the hour drive to Rodrigue’s house in the suburbs.

Sylvain and Ashe had a far too intense discussion about the meme trends of the year, bringing Felix out of his scholarly article reading with a raised eyebrow.

“You two have no culture. Crying cat memes are forever.” And he went back to his phone after that without another word on the subject.

“Felix definitely still looks at Cheezburger memes…” Sylvain joked, patting his boyfriend’s thigh lovingly as he got off the exit on the highway. Felix was only mad because he was right… but the kids at the hospital enjoyed them too… “Now where do I go?”

“Go right, dear. Three stoplights down and then a left.”

“I can’t wait to see Rodrigue!” Ashe said joyfully from the backseat. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen him.”

“I’m not lying when I tell you guys he’s been more amped for Thanksgiving this year because of you two. Normally it’s just us and we bake a pizza and watch a football game neither one of us cares about while we get drunk on cheap beer.”

“Can… can we still do that?” Sylvain laughed, turning into Rodrigue’s neighborhood. The houses were beautiful yet humble, with enough yard to classify calling it such. The street was packed with visitors’ cars, making it a bit difficult to navigate.

“Just up here on the left,” Felix instructed, pointing out a two-story Tudor style house just before a cul-de-sac. Sylvain’s belly fluttered happily, seeing his boyfriend’s childhood home making him happy in ways he’d be unable to put into words. When he pulled into the driveway, Felix leaned over and honked the horn a few times.

“Going to have the old man help us carry all this shit in,” he smiled, sliding out of the passenger side seat. When Rodrigue appeared at the door, he waved him down and pointed at the trunk with a grin.

“Ah, Felix! Mind grabbing some of that while I say hello to Sylvain and Ashe?” his father smiled, a knowing twinkle in his eyes as he hugged his son’s boyfriend. Felix mumbled about how that was bullshit but was hiding a smile, allowing Sylvain to be wrapped up in the hug. “How are you, dear Sylvain?”

“I’m great! Thank you for letting me join you guys from the bottom of my heart,” Sylvain said sincerely, lingering exactly point two seconds too long in the hug, his hands incapable of not feeling Rodrigue’s back muscles. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything, but Sylvain silently rejoiced when Felix’s dad clasped his hands.

“I would be very saddened if the person who makes Felix so happy was not here,” he said with a genuine grin, making Sylvain drop his head and stifle a scream.

“Don’t make him cry, pops, he won’t stop,” Felix teased, coming up to them and forcing a crock pot into his father’s hands.

“Felix, we’re going to sit together and talk about how much we love you while we make _you_ heat up all the food,” Sylvain said dramatically, sticking his tongue out at his boyfriend.

Once inside, Sylvain got to witness one of his biggest dreams: baby pictures of Felix Hugo Fraldarius.

He instantly shoved everything he was holding into Felix’s hands and swarmed to the staircase, where the wall was lined with picture after picture of him and his brother in his adolescence. He had been an extremely fat baby, with cheeks that looked like he was stashing golf balls in them. He had always been grumpy, too, Sylvain noticed, but little Felix’s scowls made his heart burst and the volume of his voice uncontrollable.

“Feeeeeeeeeelix, honey… You didn’t tell me you were so _adorable_…” Sylvain cried, stopping at one where Felix had to only be seven or eight. A seemingly younger version of Rodrigue stood below him, a wild smirk on his face while he held Felix up over his head. When he realized it was Glenn, his heart raced in excitement.

“Mmmhm. Didn’t think I needed to. I’ve always been beautiful!” Felix called from the kitchen. Rodrigue joined him on the stairs, smiling warmly at the pictures.

“Glenn should be here soon,” Rodrigue said bittersweetly. “He’s very excited to meet you.”

Sylvain nodded warmly, creeping up the stairs to finish looking at the photos on the wall. Felix’s mother stopped appearing in pictures sometime after his early teens, and it showed on his face the more time went on. Baby Felix smiled, was happy, even when Glenn was giving him a hard time. But teenage Felix rarely showed more than fleeting interest.

Felix walked up beside him and put his head on Felix’s shoulder, rubbing his arm in comfort.

“I got happier after I got out of high school,” he chuckled. Sylvain made a pouty face as Felix took his hand and lead him to the last room at the end of the hallway. The My Chemical Romance and Motion City Soundtrack posters on the wall made him instantly cheer up and snort in laughter.

“Please tell me you wore eyeliner…” he mumbled, stopping in the center and taking it all in. At first glance it seemed like the den of a dark lord, but underneath the very thin layer of emo memorabilia, it was a very nicely decorated space with lots of blues.

“You _know_ I wore eyeliner,” Felix replied, sitting down on the bed and patting the space beside him.

“Mmmm… now this emo boy has me alone in his bedroom…” Sylvain waggled his eyebrows at his boyfriend and licked his lips goofily, making Felix blush and chuckle. His eyes followed Felix as he darted up from the bed and locked the door, shooting a glance back at him.

“I never got to do this back then. I want to do it now—” Sylvain’s eyes widened in excited joy at the hunger in Felix’s voice. He raised his eyebrow seductively at Felix and pulled his shirt off, spreading out on his comforter with his arms behind his back. In seconds, the other man was perched on his lap, thighs tightly gripping his sides. He helped him out of his sweater and unbuckled his jeans, making Felix yelp in excitement when he pulled him by the hips to bring his groin just over his mouth. “F-fuck…”

Sylvain shoved his hands down the back of Felix’s underwear, caressing his ass and squeezing while he teased his still flaccid cock with his tongue. Felix’s hands clung to his headboard, panting quietly with a soft grin on his face. He twitched and quivered as his boyfriend got him hard with his tongue and facial expression alone, face burning hot with a blush.

“Hnn—Sylvaaaain—” He shuddered as the blood rushed to his cock, fighting the desire to take over and thrust down into him. The man below him kept looking up at him with those beautiful honey colored eyes, moaning quietly against his skin as he sucked and licked. Felix’s bottom teeth bit down on his lip, head falling down and breath becoming more ragged. “Syl…”

“Mmm,” Sylvain smiled sweetly up at his boyfriend, relishing in just how hot this was. He’d had his fair share of women in his high school room, but he’d not quite had the same experience with a guy. He certainly hadn’t had the experience with someone he actually cared about.

Sylvain wrapped his arms around Felix’s still clothed thighs and slipped his lips all the way down to the base of Felix’s cock, his own groin trembling when the other hissed in satisfaction and moaned. He whimpered when he quickened his pace, nearly screamed when his fingers slipped down to his hole and gently prodded. Felix rested his head on his arms, looking down between then and smiling like a fool down at Sylvain.

“Felix? Are you guys up there?” Felix’s smile turned into a panicked bite on his lip when he heard his father’s voice.

“Y-yep! Just showing Sylvain more embarrassing things from my childhood!” His body was burning with anticipation as he gently slammed his cock down into the other man’s throat, praying to the goddess above he wouldn’t hear Rodrigue’s footsteps on the stairs.

“Well hurry up, Glenn will be here soon!”

“O-okay! Shit, babe, f-fuck—” His hands dropped down to lace in between Sylvain’s red locks, tugging them roughly as he unloaded into his mouth. He panted as quietly as he could, body shaking as his cock pulsed out his load. “Goddess, Sylvain…”

The redhead hummed happily and rubbed Felix’s hips, smiling as best he could with his mouth fully occupied. When the other eased out of his mouth and fell down to snuggle into his side, he wrapped his arms around him and chuckled as he kissed his forehead.

“That probably would have been terrible in high school,” he joked quietly, losing his fingers in Sylvain’s soft red hair and kissing him.

“You wound me… I’ve _always_ been good at using this mouth, I’ll have you know.”

They cuddled just for a moment, for a few minutes later the doorbell could he heard downstairs. Felix kissed Sylvain, handed him a mint from his pocket, then fixed both their hair in front of his mirror.

“Glenn might be ruthless. I won’t let him be a dick—”

“Babe, it’s okay. I did grow up with Miklan, who _actually_ wanted to hurt my feelings,” Sylvain grinned, popping the mint in his mouth and smirking at Felix.

They walked downstairs, Felix anxiously twitching. He hadn’t seen Glenn since his breakup when he’d been a broken shell of a person. He couldn’t remember the last time his only brother had seen him happy.

“Felix.” Glenn stood tall and looming in the foyer, smiling softly at the pair as they descended the stairs. He immediately hugged his brother, ruffling his hair as through they were kids again. “You look fantastic. Is this who we can thank for that?” He asked, shifting his gaze to Sylvain.

“I keep him fed. He wouldn’t do it himself!” Sylvain grinned, offering out his right hand for Glenn to shake.

“Pshh, come here, man!” Glenn let go of Felix and came to hug Sylvain, his strong arms similarly tattooed like Rodrigue. Sylvain blushed but was ecstatic at how friendly Felix’s family was. It was such a nice change of pace, coming from a family of wasps who all hated each other.

“Why don’t you have any ink, babe?” He chuckled at Felix, patting his bare arms and motioning to both Glenn and Rodrigue.

“Needles suck. And I like having money to spend.” He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

“Maybe someday he’ll make us proud, Glenn,” Rodrigue smiled, taking both his sons in his arms with a warm hug. His voice softened, almost so Sylvain couldn’t hear. “I am so glad to have both of you home.”

“Yeah, yeah, pops. Us too.” Glenn ruffled Felix’s hair and kissed their father on the cheek. “Let’s eaaaaat!”

The Fraldarius men laughed loudly and boisterously alongside Sylvain and Ashe, making Sylvain giddily aware that he’d gotten the quietest out of all of them. But the longer Felix was in Glenn’s presence, he slowly opened up a side of him Sylvain had never seen. He was bold and competitive, a small fire burning in his eyes whenever he thought he could challenge his older brother to something. Three beers, in, he’d pulled his long navy hair back into a bun and had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a look Sylvain found extremely tempting.

He stared at Felix from across the dinner table, licking his lips and lingering his gaze on him whenever he could. It made his boyfriend extremely flushed and visibly excited, something that was exacerbated by the beers they were drinking. They both kept flashing back to what had happened in Felix’s bedroom, Sylvain handling it much more coolly than Felix. 

“Let me help you with the dishes, Ashe,” Sylvain smiled, standing up when their friend started to clear the plates around them.

“Oh no, I got it, Syl~” Ashe insisted warmly.

Sylvain, slightly drunk, shushed him with a gentle finger over his lips, taking the large stack of plates from his arms and bringing them into the kitchen.

“If you don’t let him, he might cry…” Felix, absolutely totally drunk, smiled lazily at Ashe, sipping on his eighth can of the world’s cheapest beer.

“Oh god. When he cries, he _cries_…” Ashe giggled, placing a hand on Rodrigue’s shoulder. “Thank you for the meal, Rodrigue. It was delicious, as always.” He followed Sylvain into the kitchen, leaving the Fraldarius men alone.

“Your boy’s a keeper, Fe,” Glenn said matter-of-factly, downing his beverage and immediately cracking open another. Felix snorted and leaned across the table, marking off another tally on his white t-shirt.

Every Thanksgiving was the same: they drank as many beers as possible before the football game ended and kept a running count. Currently, Rodrigue’s had seven, Glenn’s had nine, and Felix’s had eight. Ashe and Sylvain drank too but were mostly watching, highly amused and entertained by the tradition.

“Yes, he is. How long have you two been together now, son?” Rodrigue finished his beer with a smile at his sons, marking off his own shirt when he opened another.

“Nine months. But I feel like I’ve known him a lot longer. I… don’t want to be t-tacky.” Felix hiccupped and hid his mouth behind his hand in embarrassment. “But. I. Kind of want to marry him.”

He whispered it, both his brother and Rodrigue laughing gently in response.

“Rodrigue? Could we get your help really quick?” Ashe was chuckling from the kitchen. Their father stood up and toasted his sons silently with his beer, heading into the kitchen.

Felix stood up and padded around the kitchen table to sit next to Glenn, hugging him for a long moment before sitting down in Ashe’s chair.

“Glenn… I really love him.” He looked up at his older brother, who noticed there was almost… _fear_ in Felix’s copper eyes.

“But you’re afraid things will end up like they did last time.”

Felix twitched, the alcohol making him clingier to Glenn then he would have been if he were sober. He nodded softly and fell against his brother’s chest. He told him about Ogden, how he’d only gotten worse after Glenn had broken up with him, about how cruel he turned out to be after he married his wife. He didn’t mention the sexual assault, knowing Glenn would immediately lose his cool and probably go to his house to murder him. When he mentioned the prospect of a new job, though, Glenn smiled softly at him and wiped the tears from his eyes.

“You… are the strongest person I know, Fe. And—”

“I’m… not strong. I let a man _control every thought I had_, every action I took—My boss takes advantage of me every single day and I just fucking put up with it—”

“Felix, stop. Look at me.” Glenn held him firmly. “Mistakes and the way other people treat you aren’t who you are. Do you think those assholes have anything to do with the kids you help? Anything to do with what a good cat dad you are to Barbara?”

Felix stifled a sob, hanging his head as he shook his head, fighting to protest. Glenn sighed and pulled his baby brother to his chest.

“The mere fact that you’re looking to break away from the things that hurt you despite how hard it is show how strong you are, Felix. It’s not easy, hell, look at how long it took for me to break up with Hammond! I suffered with him for _five years_, Felix…” The younger brother sniffled and peered up at Glenn, heart pounding in his chest out of love for him.

“But, you’re trying. And you don’t have to go it alone. I know I’m not around a lot—and _goddess_, Felix, I want to change that. I want to move back into town, I want to hang out with you and Sylvain—also, Felix? Hello? He’s gorgeous? Can you imagine how fast I would have left Ogden’s fucking ass if I’d had someone like him around?! Oh goddess, I know that’s not helping, you know what I mean…”

Felix couldn’t help but start to chuckle, nothing but flattered that his brother thought his boyfriend was attractive. The chuckling turned into laughing and crying, a tipsy whirlwind of emotions fighting in his brain.

“Glenn. I’m so glad you’re back with us. I’m glad that fight back then didn’t… send you away forever.”

Glenn smiled at Felix and hugged him closely again.

“I wouldn’t ever leave _you_ behind, Fe. Dad? Pft.”

They laughed together, Glenn once again wiping away his brother’s tears. “If you need… literally anything from me, please tell me. If you want me to call Hammond and tell him to fuck off, I will, and I _promise_ you he’ll fuck off for good. I have dirt on him that would end his entire life if his wife found out. If you need me to find your ex, it’s done.”

“I don’t want you to go to prison,” Felix pouted, reaching for a tissue on the bar nearby and sheepishly blowing his nose.

“I’d do it for my baby brother though…” Felix snorted and wiped his eyes with the clean part of the tissue, smiling sadly and tilting his head at Glenn. “So… you want to marry him, huh?”

Felix’s eyes darted behind his brother into the kitchen, clutching his hands nervously.

“Shh… _yes_…” Felix fumbled through his bookmarks on his phone and anxiously showed Glenn a few rings he had picked out. His face flushed as he looked at them again, not having done so for a while. It wasn’t something he wanted to do right away, but something he was definitely planning on. “I’ve—I don’t think I’ve ever been this… _happy_, Glenn...”

“Fe, I’ve known you your entire life, so I can confirm that that’s probably true.”

After the meal had been cleaned up and the sea of beer cans rinsed and recycled, Sylvain sat down with his found family on the couch, none of them paying attention to the sports on the TV as they all talked and enjoyed each other’s company. He had a few missed calls on his cellphone from his parents, and a string of texts from a drunk Miklan had come in around dinner time, but none of that mattered when he was surrounded by such genuine love and friendship.

As everyone drifted upstairs to nap, stomach’s full and their brains succumbing to tryptophan, Sylvain wrapped Felix up in a comfy blanket from the couch and carried him up to his room. He stroked his hair until they passed out in each other’s arms, feeling more at home than he had ever felt in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew. HAPPY THANKSGIVING <3  
twitter: setethstiddies!


	8. Part 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix and Sylvain prepare for Christmas by decorating, attending holiday office parties, and threatening shitty, abusive bosses by promising to break their kneecaps if they don't keep their distance.   
How else does a couple celebrate the holidays?  
And they fuck in a cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. ashe has terrible taste in alcohol because so do i. we are one in the same and i'm totally projecting onto him  
2\. ashe just wants to dance with somebody. don't we all, ashe...  
3\. yes i literally put the words 'cashepar' in this fic what OF IT  
4\. im actually married to the property brothers? not sure if you knew...  
5\. i'm so sorry this took so long!!!! but she's here... please enjoy :>

“Babe.”

“Mmm.”

“Babe, wake up; it’s Christmas!”

“… Fuck you, not it isn’t.”

“Okay but like… It’s December first so… it’s pretty much Christmas.”

“I can think of at _least_… _one_ better thing you mouth could be doing…”

Felix feigned shock and threw a pillow over Sylvain’s head, chuckling. He pouted and snuggled closer to his boyfriend’s chest, nuzzling his nose up against his skin. “But… I need your long legs and arms to help me decorate.”

“Oh, I see how it is… Barbara, can you _believe_ your father?” Sylvain moved the pillow and looked up at their cat, who was nestled in her regular spot above their heads. She yawned and made a point to turn away from them and face the headboard. “Does Barbara share your love of Christmas, babe?”

“Yes. Well, maybe. She always tries to eat my tinsel and ornaments,” pouted Felix, crossing his arms against his chest. “Will you help me decorate, though?” he smiled hopefully at Sylvain, eyes lighting up as though he were a child and it was actually Christmas morning. Who was Sylvain to deny him?

Sylvain had _not_ pegged Felix as the type to be obsessed with yuletide. He was surprised to find that the storage unit their apartment had in the basement was pretty much packed with boxes filled with décor. He absolutely lugged each and every single one into their unit because Felix’s smile left him no choice, though. He effortlessly reached the tops of doorways and their balcony outside to hang up garland and lights, happy to see his boyfriend _so_ enthusiastic.

As Sylvain lounged on the couch driving a needle and fishing line through pom-pom balls, Felix fidgeted in his seat like he wanted to tell him something. “What’s up, honey?”

Felix bounced excitedly. “I… really wanted to wait to tell you this but…” He stood up and disappeared into Sylvain’s old room, which was essentially their office now. He returned with his hands behind his back and a small smile on his face. “I booked us a little vacation. It’s not much since I’m saving up my PTO for after Christmas, but…”

He sat down next to Sylvain and practically shoved the folder he was hiding into his hands. He opened it and pointed to the picture on the first page, which was a small but breathtaking log cabin on the side of a mountain.

“Felix! Babe, holy shit…” Sylvain dropped the pom-poms and grabbed Felix’s leg with excitement as he flipped through. He knew this place; it was about two hours north of the city. Past the suburbs, even past the crummy northern ones where you locked your car doors at all hours of the day. It was a beautiful town without constant visitors, even this time of year. “How much should I give you for this? I don’t want you to have to pay for all of it—”

“Shh, don’t worry about it. I’ve,” Felix cleared his throat and blushed a bit, “been saving for this ever since you um… moved in. Okay, maybe a week after you moved in.”

Sylvain _very_ desperately wanted to tease Felix about him crushing on him since the get-go. However, not only had he _also_ been head-over-heels for him, but the smile on his face currently rivaled the one he’d been wearing as they decorated, so he didn’t dare.

“Thank you, my love,” he replied, setting the folder aside and pulling Felix up onto his lap. He wrapped his hands around his waist and nuzzled into his neck, innocently sliding his hands up under his shirt as they sat quietly. “I doubt it’ll be much of a surprise, but the holidays haven’t really been a happy time for me, not even just recently.” He hoped he wasn’t bringing down the mood, but he didn’t want to slip into his old habits of being grouchy and hurt Felix’s feelings.

“I hope I can help change that for you, Syl, not just because it’s the holidays, you know… But I want you to forget how those… _people_ ever made you feel. I don’t want you to ever feel that way again,” Felix quietly, smooching his cheeks, then his lips. “Let me know if I get too annoying or overbearing,” he chuckled, looking around at their living room that had quickly been turned into a winter wonderland.

“No—oh god…” Sylvain blushed and hugged onto Felix tighter. “You? This? All of this? Could not in any possible way upset me. Whatever makes you _this happy_… also makes me happy.” Felix’s face twisted into a flushed smile, heart swelling in his chest as he gently tugged on Sylvain’s hair.

“You make me happier than any silly time of year could, Sylvain.”

**

Felix straightened Sylvain’s tie in front of their dresser, humming contentedly when it finally sat straight with no bumps.

“Think all your coworkers will like me?” he grinned, stepping back to regard both of their handsomely done-up outfits for the evening. Tonight was the hospital’s holiday party.

“…No,” Felix snickered, stomach feeling queasy when he thought about Ogden’s attendance.

“Listen, if he starts anything tonight, I’m throwing hands. And I’m not kidding.”

Felix sadly smiled up at his boyfriend and rested his head on his chest, hugging him softly.

“Just don’t get the police called, okay?”

“No promises, love.”

Felix sighed and checked his watch. “If we go now, we can get hors d’oeuvres and make a semblance of a meal. Once the doctors get there, it’s _over_ with.”

“After you, my handsome man,” Sylvain winked, bowing at Felix. They pet Barbara and smooched her before locking up the apartment and heading for the parking garage.

“Do you really think that piece of shit is going to act out at this… company function?” Sylvain asked, pressing the down button for the elevator.

“He does every single year,” Felix muttered angrily. “And his wife absolutely notices. Does she say anything? Does _anyone_ say anything? Hell no.”

Sylvain pouted and put his hands against Felix’s cheeks, rubbing them softly with his thumb. “Do you really want to go, honey? We can stay in and order real food and watch any Christmas movie you want.”

Felix chuckled and nodded, placing his hands over Sylvain’s. “Yes. Because it’s actually pretty fun and fancy despite Hammond’s atrocious behavior. Ashe gets drunk every year and yells at me to dance with him. This year, you can do it for me.”

Sylvain drove them to the venue, which Felix had failed to mention was quite possibly the most beautiful and luxurious hotel in the city, the one with the revolving restaurant on the top floor. A man in a tuxedo ran to greet them to valet his car. They were handed bubbly champagne as they walked in through the elegant glass paned oak doors, making Sylvain feel like he was horrendously back in the world he’d left with his parents.

“Oh my god. I definitely went to one of my father’s company to-do’s here as a kid,” he laughed dryly. “I was only thirteen. But I definitely hit on our waiter. Dad had Mom take me outside and give me a talking to.” Felix couldn’t help but laugh, imagining an only slightly smaller Sylvain making eyes at some poor guy who was tending to snobby rich people.

He made a direct advance upon the food table and shot a glare at his boyfriend when he heard him snickering.

“Look, it’s not my fault that they always get really good catering. Don’t laugh at me and _eat_ with me _instead_,” he said in embarrassment, “Or at least go ahead and get seconds for me so I don’t look like a crazy person coming up here multiple times.”

Sylvain grabbed a plate and copied Felix’s, turning his glare into what he could only discern was the closest things to hearts in his eyes that the human body could manage. He held it for him lovingly while they stood to the side and people watched, Felix giving him the rundown of some of his coworkers.

“That’s Linhardt von Hevring. He’s a nice guy who works with kids who have issues with sleeping and how they handle their energy. Oh goddess, the guy behind him got _so_ drunk at this party last year… I’m surprised he was allowed to come back…”

“I didn’t even go that hard,” Ashe laughed, appearing seemingly out of thin air beside them. He already had the smell of peppermint schnapps on his breath, making both Sylvain and Felix shudder. “What? Once you drink enough it just tastes like water! And it’s _Christmas_, what else can you drink?”

“Literally anything else, Ashe!” Sylvain replied in horror, grasping his friend’s shoulder.

“I want to have fun at this every year, I _swear_, but I’m expected to get through this thing while Ogden creepily terrorizes people…” Ashe mumbled uncomfortably, squeezing Felix’s hand with a knowing smile.

“That’s it. I’m throwing hands. Hold your plate, babe,” Sylvain said only half-jokingly, honestly sighing in frustration and scanning the room. He hadn’t shown up yet, but the redhead didn’t know how good his self-control was going to hold up when he saw him.

“Ashe, drink your death drink and don’t rile him up. He might actually get the cops called,” Felix laughed softly, “let’s… just avoid him at all costs and have fun. Tonight’s not about him. Tonight’s about getting shit housed on the company’s dollar and talking about who’s fucking who. Speaking of which…”

Felix eyed the blue haired man that was walking up to them knowingly, raising an eyebrow at Ashe when he put his hand on his shoulder.

“Oh! I’m an idiot…” Ashe blushed, smiling excitedly and bouncing slightly on his feet. “Felix, Sylvain, this is Caspar! He’s the one who stole me away to dance at Seteth and Byleth’s party,” he blushed, bringing instantaneous smiles to his friend’s faces.

“Nice to officially meet you both!” His arm went to a respectable position and grip around Ashe’s waist, quelling Sylvain’s ‘overprotective dad’ senses. Felix must have sensed them too; he chuckled and discreetly elbowed him in the stomach with a chuckle.

“You too. Now he has someone to dance with this year that wants to,” Felix said coyly, winking at Ashe and toasting them with his champagne.

“I knew you never wanted to dance with me, Felix…”

A microphone could be heard crackling to life over a loudspeaker, making the two pairs turn around to face a small stage that stood at the other end of the room. Sylvain’s arms instinctively went around Felix’s shoulders when he saw Ogden tapping it.

“Thank you all for joining us and celebrating the holidays with your Glasgow Royal family. We hope you all have a lovely time and remember,” Sylvain felt Felix tensing up uncomfortably in his arms as it appeared Ogden had singled him out in the crowd and was staring directly at him, “if you see that one of your coworkers has had too much _fun_, please kindly call them a rideshare or taxi. We wouldn’t want anyone getting hurt.”

The room was filled with gentle applause as he toasted them all and retreated off the stage.

“Let’s move. May I have this dance, my love?” Sylvain muttered sweetly into his ear, turning his protective shield into a hug. Felix blushed but nodded, chuckling at the look of betrayal on Ashe’s face as Sylvain led him to the dance floor. Caspar grabbed his friend’s hand though, bowing to him quickly before taking him into his arms.

A poppy, modern revival of an old-timey Christmas song played, so Sylvain smiled goofily and spun Felix around in circles. It could not be clearer how embarrassed he was, but he simultaneously smiled brightly enough to illuminate the entire ballroom.

“He never smiled like that when he danced with me!” Ashe shouted playfully, screaming softly as Caspar dipped him.

“You’ve got nothing on Sylvain, Ashe,” Felix winked, clutching Sylvain’s hands and pressing himself up against his chest to avoid further spinning. “Hold me close, love. So I don’t vomit.”

Sylvain lead him along more gently, keeping an eye out for any unwelcome company. Ogden stood with other doctors he recognized but had certainly only moved closer in their direction since he left the stage. A woman he figured to be his wife lingered nearby, constantly looking like she wanted to tell her husband it was time to leave.

_Please take him away. Do us all the favor, thanks._

“Felix… the liquor bar is open this year… Shall we continue our tradition?” Ashe asked him in a whisper as the song ended, keeping hold of Caspar’s hand as he leaned over.

“Ashe… I thought you were my friend… I thought you wanted me alive…”

“Tradition?” Sylvain chimed in, waggling his eyebrows.

“Every year, Felix and I see who can drink as much Fireball as possible. I win every year,” smiled Ashe sweetly.

“I don’t _mind_ drinking with him. But you can obviously tell his taste is _shit_,” Felix defended with a smile. Sylvain took Felix’s hand and kissed it.

“I shall participate in your stead. Come on, let’s go get some shooooooooooots!”

Caspar and Felix stood back while their boyfriends stampeded the bar, shaking their heads in amusement. Sylvain returned with a shot glass for Felix, making him shiver.

“You get _one_ out of me,” he chuckled, raising it with a small smile. The four toasted and cheered quietly, tipping them back.

They all gagged, all shuddered, all _instantly_ regretted their decision.

If anything, though, it was enough to let them all start to truly unwind. Felix happily danced with Sylvain, uncaring if Ogden was standing nearby or shooting him glances that made him uncomfortable. He couldn’t care less. In all his years with the hospital, it was the first time at the holiday party he was _truly_ at relative ease and was enjoying himself.

On his fifth glass of champagne, his hair was pulled back into a bun to relieve his neck from the heat, eliciting a clearing of his throat and arms wrapped around his waist from Sylvain.

“Warm, honey?” he purred into his ear, tucking loose hairs around his face behind his ear. “We could step outside if you want to cool down.”

“Mmm, that sounds lovely. Cashe, take care of Aspar,” he giggled, patting Ashe’s face tenderly and waving. He took Sylvain’s outstretched hand and slightly stumbled, snorting into the crook of his arm and throwing his middle finger up back at Ashe as he smiled. “That motherfucker _knows_ Fireball sets me off…”

“Well you’re holding it together _beautifully_, my sweet,” Sylvain cooed. He picked up a water bottle of the snack table on their way out. He waited until they were outside to steady Felix before scooping him up in his arms to carry him.

“Sylvaaaaaaain,” Felix cried softly, going limp in happiness at the gesture. His whole body warmed at the chuckle in his boyfriend’s chest, the vibration dancing along his skin. He was carried to a bench nearby, where he was set down gently before Sylvain sat and let him lean against him.

“No more for my Felix,” he said sternly but sweetly, handing him the water. Felix smiled hazily up at him and nodded, sipping on it while his eyes fluttered closed.

“I haven’t had this much fun at a work outing in _years_,” he said, shivering slightly in the chilly December air. “I’ve always had this fear that… _he’ll_ put something in my drink or follow me home. Or something equally if not more horrific.”

Sylvain took a deep breath and wrapped his arm around Felix tighter, strongly fighting the urge to go back inside and throw that man at a wall. He oddly had been keeping his distance that evening but was still close enough for Sylvain to notice.

“Feeling under the weather, Fraldarius?”

_Son of a fucking bitch_.

“I’m _fine_, Hammond. No need for concern,” Felix bit out harshly, sitting up straight.

“Settle down, settle down… of course I’m going to be worried about my best employee.”

“Where’s your wife? I bet she’s wondering where you are.”

Sylvain glanced down at his boyfriend in quiet awe, slightly scared but also horny at the anger and menace in Felix’s voice. Ogden went silent, stopping a few feet in front of them on the sidewalk.

“Do you think that’s a polite way to speak to an old friend, Felix?”

They were both quickly growing tired of his forced, overfamiliar tone. Sylvain squeezed Felix’s shoulder and stood up. Truthfully unintentionally, at least blatantly, he cracked his knuckles and took a few steps towards Ogden.

“I think it’s pretty clear he doesn’t wish to speak to you. I think you could do him the courtesy of leaving him alone, _doctor_.”

“I hardly see how this is any of your business,” Ogden said in a disgustingly bitter voice, shifting his body to face Sylvain alone.

“Every minute… that I know your pathetic, _lowlife_ ass is bothering Felix, it’s my business.” Sylvain stepped directly up to Ogden’s face, easily towering over him by at least a foot.

His voice was as cold and biting as a hammer on steel, eradicating any other sounds from Felix’s ears. He watched in ever-growing anxiety as they got closer to one another, that fear rooting him to the spot and rendering him unable to move.

“Sylvain—”

“Felix, please.” Sylvain didn’t look back at him as he glared down at Ogden, the man who made Felix’s life a living hell. He didn’t _think_ he was actually going to punch him, not unless he gave him a reason to. “Let me make one thing _perfectly_ clear.

“The _minute_ Felix tells me you’ve behaved like a _goddamn_ asshole again, I’m coming for you. I don’t care where you are, what you’re doing, or who you’re with. You are going to _stop_ terrorizing him or I swear on my life I will break your _fucking_ kneecaps. I’m not putting my hands on you now. Because unfortunately, your dumb ass hasn’t _done_ anything this evening. But do you hear me? Was any of that unclear? Please let me know if I need to repeat myself.”

Felix’s mouth hung open, both in sheer shock and love for Sylvain. He managed to get on his feet and stumble over to him, bravely putting himself between the two of them with one hand behind him to hold on to his lover.

“Is _that_ how you feel, Felix…” It was more a tight-lipped statement than a question, Ogden’s eyes darting between Sylvain and Felix with a glare that could melt solid ice. “All you had to say.”

He threw up his arms in mock surrender and backed away, smiling venomously at the couple before heading back inside.

Felix _knew_ this wasn’t the end of it, not by a long shot, but he still felt a weight being lifted off his chest as he fell back against Sylvain with a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I’ve got you, baby,” Sylvain muttered softly into his ear, catching him and holding on around his waist. Felix sniffled out into the cold air around them, holding onto the other, not ever wanting to let go. “Do you want to go back?” he whispered gently, wiping the tears off Felix’s face.

“N-no… Let’s go home and watch that Christmas movie,” he hiccupped into a laugh, turning around to nuzzle his face into Sylvain’s chest. “I’ve had enough social interaction for the evening.” Sylvain kissed his forehead and nodded. “Although… would you mind if I invited Ashe and Caspar over to join us?”

“Not at all. Let’s go get ‘em.”

Felix composed himself enough to go to the table where they were giving out party goodies, thanking the receptionists as calmly as he could. They expectantly looked at Sylvain when he approached them with Ashe and Caspar in tow, winking at Felix when his arm came down around his waist.

They returned back to Felix and Sylvain’s apartment crammed into the back of their rideshare driver’s Rav-4, Felix unceremoniously spread out over their laps (Sylvain would go back for his car in the morning). He was then hauled up onto Sylvain’s shoulder to carry him to the elevator, then gently put on the couch upstairs while his boyfriend got everyone water and crackers. How _he_ managed to be more sober than the rest of them, Felix would never not be salty over, but he graciously took them with a kiss to the redhead’s hands.

Felix and Caspar both made it approximately thirty minutes into _The Holiday_ before passing out on their respective significant other’s laps, which was a shame, because Ashe knew Felix would have given _anything_ to see Sylvain cry the way he did at the end.

**

Sylvain shivered as Felix shut the trunk and shuffled into the car, lowkey wishing they were back upstairs in bed, with nothing more than their goddess-given bodies snuggled together for warmth. Give it two hours and they probably would be, assuming the cabin wasn’t inaccessible due to the snow. The city had been buried in it overnight. The owners of the cabin assured them they’d be able to drive up no problem, but Sylvain had packed a shovel just in case. He’d be damned if this weekend was ruined because of the weather.

“Okay. Get on 75 north and just _drive_,” Felix smiled, looking at the printed out directions on his lap. Sylvain wanted to laugh at him, but he knew their cell service would probably crap out at some point. At the very least, they were from Google Maps and not MapQuest, so how much laughing could he actually do? His dumb ass probably wouldn’t have even thought to have a backup… at least _someone_ in the relationship had a brain.

Felix quietly passed out in the passenger’s seat thirty minutes into the trip, curling up into a seemingly impossible ball after leaning the seat all the way back. Sylvain happily watched him, aiming his vents down at him so he’d be warmer. He mumbled in his sleep, but nothing his boyfriend could clearly discern. Thankfully, Felix didn’t seem to suffer from nightmares like Sylvain did. He was thankful; the less stress Felix had to deal with, the better.

Sylvain gently leaned down and mumbled into his ear to wake him when they reached their destination, chuckling at how pink Felix’s cheeks had gotten during his nap.

“S-snow?” Felix yawned, stretching his body out and reaching for Sylvain’s waist sleepily.

“No, looks like they came out and shoveled it already. That, or it was the axe murderer who lives on the mountain and is going to come and kill us tonight. I hope he’s not cute so we don’t get Stockholm’s Syndrome,” he winked. Felix rolled his eyes and smiled as he shook his head, returning the seat to its upright position. They climbed out of the car and stepped out onto the snow, which was relatively pristine aside from that had been shoveled. Felix joined Sylvain on his side of the car and took a deep breath at the sight before them.

The cabin was settled quite literally into the side of the mountain, overlooking the vast forest below. A frozen lake could be seen in an almost eerie clearing out in the distance, but a reassuring patch of civilization existed in the form of a small collection of houses around it.

They wanted to get away, but not so far away that if they _were_ being murdered nobody would be able to hear their screams.

“You picked such an amazing place, babe,” Sylvain breathed out in amazement, pulling Felix to stand in front of him and wrapping his hands around his waist.

“Dad and Mom brought Glenn and I here all the time as kids. I haven’t been since—” Felix’s eyes watered, cutting himself off before he continued with ‘since she died’, instead swallowing and shaking his head. “It’s been a long time,” he smiled weakly out at the frozen landscape, jumping slightly on his feet. “Come on, let’s go inside. It’s even prettier from the living room.”

Sylvain lovingly held his hand as they crunched along the snow to get inside. It was the first time Felix had ever brought up his mom, and it’d sent a chilly sadness through the air around them. He wanted to press, to learn more about her, but seeing how quickly he’d almost cried at the mention of her name told Sylvain it wasn’t a good time. Felix would tell him whenever he was ready, just like he would with his family.

Felix retrieved the key from a coded lockbox on the doorframe, stomping the snow off his boots before unlocking the door. They stepped inside to a generously naturally lit living area. Sylvain squirmed when he saw how high the ceilings were, reminiscing about HGTV and the Property Brothers.

“I knew you’d like the fucking ceilings…” laughed Felix, dropping the key into a bowl on a table nearby. He smirked softly as his boyfriend stretched out his arms and fell down onto the large sectional couch in the middle of the room, eyes closed in relaxation as he let a long sigh out of his mouth.

“We’re not leaving. We live here now.”

“Sounds good to me…” Felix replied, kicking off his boots and falling down onto Sylvain’s chest. They were instantly tangled up against one another, cold faces flushed from the air outside and the newfound warmth inside the cabin. Sylvain had both their jackets off, tossed aside to the floor with little care.

“Wait, wait—” He looked up at Felix as his boyfriend’s hands dove down under his jeans to begin rubbing his stomach and groin. “The lube is out in the luggage—”

“_Shit_!” Felix cursed, launching himself off the other and darting outside after haphazardly throwing his shoes back on. He nearly slipped, swearing the entire time, his cock pressed uncomfortably up against his pants.

Inside, Sylvain was laughing at him.

He had lied.

Neither person in this relationship had any brain cells…

The redhead joined him and lifted the heavier bags, opting to bring everything inside so there were no more mad dashes to come out and get something. Felix dove into his suitcase and grabbed the lube and Sylvain’s hand to lead him into the bedroom. Once the door was shut, he shoved Sylvain down onto the bed and pushed him belly-down onto the comforter. He reached down in front of his jeans and undid the button and zipper, chuckling when his boyfriend yelped because of his cold hands. He slid everything down and leaned into his ass to plant kisses down his back.

Felix ran his hands along Sylvain’s hips and down to his inner thighs, breathing into his skin and sighing happily when he felt him already hard. “Don’t judge me,” he cooed, keeping one hand on Sylvain’s hip as he undid his own jeans and let them fall to his knees. “But I’ve been aching to get you up in this cabin and _fuck_ you.” He drew out the last two words slowly, accenting each with a kiss on a different spot on Sylvain’s skin.

The redhead collapsed into the mattress and whined, standing up just to turn his head around to kiss Felix on the lips.

“I’m sure glad I prepped before we left, then…” He muttered, reaching his hand up to smooth over Felix’s cheek.

“Goddess _fuck_, I love you,” the shorter man breathed out hungrily, pushing him back down and pumping his cock. He lovingly gazed down at Sylvain as he followed suit, tracing hearts into his ass with a silly smile twisting on his face. He pulled Sylvain’s jeans down to his thighs and set his left knee up on the bed, pouring lube on his painfully hard (and painfully cold) erection. He rubbed it along the length and hissed, slipping his finger down into his boyfriend at the same time.

“D-don’t teaaase me,” Sylvain whined, though his back arched at the contact. He lifted off the bed so his cock wasn’t pressed into the sheets, scooting back to get Felix in him quicker as he jerked himself. “Fuuuck, Fe…” His chest tightened in ecstasy when he felt his lover replacing his finger with his dick, face flushing red.

Felix twitched with how quickly he was able to get inside, falling down over Sylvain’s back thankfully and hugging him around his stomach as he started fucking him. “I’m so glad you were as excited as I was, my love,” he muttered lovingly as he reached down and took over pumping him. Sylvain nodded happily, eyes shut softly as he bit down on his lip. “Do you want me to make love to you or fuck you?” He asked with a gentle tug on his hair. Sylvain pitifully moaned out into the warm air around them, gazing back up at Felix achingly.

“Fuck me now and love me later,” he replied, slamming his ass back up against Felix’s cock.

“F-fuck,” Felix moaned excitedly, moving his hands back down to his hips and grabbing them roughly. He served a stinging slap across his ass, smiling contentedly when his boyfriend muffled his grunt with the sheets below him. “Nuh uh… So I can _hear_ you,” he demanded, voice like velvet on Sylvain’s eardrums.

The redhead blushed in pleasure when one of Felix’s hands returned to his scalp to pull his hair—thank the _goddess_ he’d decided to grow it out a little—calling out the other’s name as he shamelessly pounded down into him. The shorter man’s slim frame was able to keep him from moving much due to the angle, struggling against the confines of his jeans still around his legs. It felt like heaven every time Felix’s hit them, making him want to beg for them to be removed.

“Only I can hear you, my love. Let me hear how good this feels. Tell me you _love_ it when I fuck you,” Felix breathed out deeply, his cock buried down in Sylvain to the base, twitching and making its owner writhe.

Sylvain brought himself up on his palms and clenched his muscles around Felix, letting his pitiful moans and grunts flow throughout the air in between their warm bodies moving against each other.

“I need you to fuck me, Fe,” Sylvain started, heat shooting up from his toes to his groin. He jutted his hips back against him, “I want you to fuck me until I’m breathless…”

Felix held in his own noises with difficulty, stifling them by throwing his head back and spanking Sylvain with repeated slaps. But when his boyfriend hit him with an ‘I love you’ with a silky keen, he moaned out loud in appreciation and gripped his hips lovingly.

“F-fuck—” Felix eased out of the man below him as gently as he could and ripped the other’s jeans off his legs, following suit with his own. “Shirt off,” he breathed deeply, joining him up on the mattress. Sylvain smirked and stripped, gasping in surprise when Felix flipped him over and pulled him to his knees. He kissed him long and deeply, fingers pulling on his hair and teeth biting into his lips and chin. Felix then pushed him back down into the sheets and pulled his hips onto his lap, nestling between his legs to continue fucking him.

“Fe—Felix, more _please_—take what’s _yours_,” Sylvain begged, hooking his feet behind Felix’s head and crunching so his stomach muscles popped under his skin. He watched Felix _fighting_ to maintain his dominating persona, eating up how he whimpered quietly into his thighs and furrowed his brows in pleasure against his sweating skin. He had picked up his rhythm and speed at the command from his lover, quickly becoming unable to lead and desperate for Sylvain to guide him. “Yeah, baby, take what’s _yours_,” repeated Sylvain with half-lidded eyes, smiling up at Felix lovingly.

“Sy-Syl_vain_, goddess _above_,” Felix whimpered, his entire body blushing at the comment. He had made it so long, had gotten literally balls deep into his lover, but _that_ was the comment that sent him over the edge. “Tell me more…” he mumbled anxiously, wrapping his arms around Sylvain’s thigh and nibbling it. Sylvain’s entire body ignited at Felix’s request. He jerked his cock as he was fucked down into the mattress. He praised him and encouraged him to let loose, begging to me groped, scratched, and choked all while Felix made love to him.

“Ahhhnn—Fe--!” Sylvain whimpered as Felix pulled out of him without restraint, the coil threatening to spring in his stomach letting go as his boyfriend palmed both their cocks in one hand while the other shoved three fingers back inside him. He sat up on his elbows and panted into Felix’s ear, fingers grabbing the other’s hips achingly as the erupted over his hand. When Felix followed shortly after, he pushed the shorter man pack onto the bed to catch and suck up his load, smiling against his cock as Felix screamed ecstatically in overstimulation.

Felix fell down onto Sylvain’s torso, clinging desperately to him while the other let loose his hair from its tie and ran his fingers through it. They were too out of breath to speak, so attempted to communicate using a series of soft grunts and chuckles.

“Is that what you meant by ‘fuck me now, love me l-later’?” asked Felix in exhaustion, eyes fluttering closed and all desire to move flying away.

Sylvain laughed so hard Felix bounced up off his chest, making him scream and hold onto for dear life.

“You nailed it, my love,” Sylvain managed to say, Felix actually slightly concerned about how hard his chest was rising and falling. He lazily kissed wherever his lips would reach, trembling happily every time Sylvain’s hands hit his spine or the back of his neck while he stroked him.

They fell asleep together not long after, burrowing under the covers as they watched the snow falling outside.

**

Sylvain sat straight up in bed hours later, face warm and body sweating under the sheets. Felix had abandoned him and was curled up again on top of the comforter, mouth hanging open slightly as he mumbled in his sleep. The redhead pulled the covers off himself and shuddered when the pleasant temperature swept across his still naked body. He realized the state he’d left himself in before they fell asleep, grimacing. Felix was relatively clean, so he threw a thin throw blanket over him and padded back out to their luggage to get his shower supply.

When he was clean, with pink skin thanks to the boiling water, he wrapped himself up in the fluffy robe Felix had gifted him before the trip. He pulled out the matching one he’d gone back and gotten for his boyfriend and set it beside him on the bed. He was still knocked out cold but had snuggled into the blanket Sylvain had provided him.

“Mmmnn… what time is it?” he heard a very sleepy Felix when he settled back on the bed to kill time on his phone.

“It’s four. We slept for eight hours!”

“Fuuuck,” Felix replied defeatedly, rolling over and snuggling into Sylvain’s side. He tiredly watched videos on his phone with him before nodding off once more, leaving his boyfriend in a position that would wake him if he moved.

Sylvain knew he _could_ shift, but watching Felix getting a good night’s sleep was something he often only saw bits and pieces of. He woke up so much earlier than he did and they tended to fall asleep at the same time, particularly on nights when Felix had work the next day. Seeing him so utterly knocked out and peaceful made Sylvain’s stomach flutter in happiness.

He looked out the window, sighing contentedly when he saw the snow still coming down. Glancing back down at Felix, he opened up a couple of bookmarks on his phone and lost himself in thought looking at engagement rings.

He had picked out tons of them, wishing this type of thing wasn’t a ton of money so he could give them all. He glanced through traditional gold bands, modern designs that incorporated gemstones and minerals, anxiously unaware of which kind Felix would like _best_. He knew his lover would probably prefer something simple and solid, but Felix was also the kind of man who wore thigh-high boots in the winter.

Because he _knew _how good his legs looked.

Thinking about it too much made Sylvain’s head fuzzy. He figured Felix would think him an absolute lunatic if he proposed after only nine (_technically_ it was closer to ten now) months.

Sylvain cleared his open applications and set his phone down on the nightstand, pointedly turning off his alarm despite the fact it was set for eleven. He scooted down to lie next to his lover, his best friend, _his Felix_, knowing that as soon as the time was right, he’d make that promise to him real.

Hours later, when the pair finally agreed it was time to pull themselves off the thousand-thread count sheets of the bed in the master suite, they found themselves lounging mere feet away out on the sofa in the living room. It was miraculously still snowing, and the way it powdered the landscape outside was hypnotizing to watch. Their phones were forgotten in the bedroom, and they simply sat wrapped up in each other’s arms in peaceful quiet.

“This has probably been one of the best ideas you’ve ever had,” Sylvain mumbled happily, pulling Felix up higher on his torso so he could stretch his legs.

“Mmhhmm. And… there’s one part I just realized I haven’t shown you,” Felix replied, standing up and reaching for his boyfriend’s hand. Sylvain held it and followed in curiosity. Felix lead him through the kitchen and out onto the back patio, eyes widening in wonder.

“Yep. Hot tub.”

“My goddess… We’re like the rich people who go to Vail, Colorado and sit in these while it’s snowing…”

“We can pretend, babe. Do you want to get in?” Felix had turned around and pressed himself up against the redhead, fingers slipping down past the waistband of those _fucking_ gray sweatpants.

“I didn’t bring a swimsuit… because it’s December,” Sylvain laughed. Felix chuckled at his sweet, simple boyfriend and just looked up at him knowingly. “… Oh.”

“Yep.”

Sylvain practically darted back into the cabin in excitement, grabbing the whiskey they’d packed in their luggage and fetching towels from the bathroom. Felix flushed happily as he followed him inside to strip down, thankful the cabin was secluded enough that what they were about to do was a possibility.

Felix stepped in first after opening the umbrella that the owners had thankfully installed for days like this. He dropped his towel over the side and flashed Sylvain a shit-eating grin, motioning for him to join him. “It won’t be so disgustingly cold when you’re inside, babe,” he said with a chuckle, watching the other shivering in the snow. Sylvain raised a sarcastic brow at him and set down the bottle of alcohol, ripping his towel off dramatically and sauntering over to the edge.

He was already hard.

“You’re a slut,” Felix breathed out deeply, body twitching in anticipation as Sylvain stepped through the bubbling water towards him. His arms betrayed his playful teasing, though, when they reached out for his hips and grabbed them before taking him into his mouth.

“Only for you, babe,” Sylvain replied with a smirk, lacing his fingers into Felix’s loose bun and taking hold gently.

As Felix bobbed up and down along the other, his heartbeat pounded in his chest. Risky public nudity and indecency aside, it was truly a beautiful scene: the snow falling around them, just the two of them. All while he attempted to show Sylvain just how much he loved him and appreciated him, which, despite Sylvain’s constant affirmation and reciprocation, Felix felt was never _quite _enough.

He gazed up at the redhead in absolute love, four life-changing words dancing around in his hazy brain and threatening to fall out of his lips when he popped off his erection. He was interrupted though, when Sylvain bent down and kissed him tenderly, their lips pressing against each other softly in the cold.

“I love you.” They said it simultaneously, making each other smile happily. Felix slid his lips back down around his cock, digging his nails into his ass as Sylvain shuddered. His hands ran up and down his body to warm him, lingering on his nipples to make him squirm even more.

“Y-yes, fuck—” Sylvain tightened his grip on Felix’s hair and forced his hips to remain still; far be it from him to take away from a performance Felix had so expertly perfected. His knees wobbled in pleasure, making the man below him chuckle warmly against his cock. His heart swelled. He could listen to that sound all day—

“Mmmm, Sylvain…”

He could also listen to _that_ sound forever…

The moans he breathed against him as he sucked and licked up his length were all it took. In seconds Sylvain was slightly bent down, holding onto the edge of the hot tub behind his boyfriend. Felix’s eyes bore up into him intensely as he finished him off, arms wrapped around his waist and legs.

Felix licked him clean, nearly giggling at the sight and sound of Sylvain trying to retain as much of his composure as he could. “Did you like getting sucked off out in nature, babe?” he smirked evilly, kissing Sylvain’s groin sweetly and making sure nothing remained of his excitement on his skin.

Sylvain scoffed and shivered as he eased himself down into the hot water, which was even more effective now on his frosty skin. He showered Felix with kisses and pulled him into his lap, hands rising to his shoulders to rub. Felix sighed and submitted to the affection, eyes closing softly as a small smile weaved itself onto his face.

The redhead tried to shut up the devil that currently shouted at him on his shoulder, which was commanding him to propose. Looking at the rings the night before had fried his brain of any other thought, aching to confess his love here, in one of the prettiest places he’d ever been. He kicked himself for his indecision on picking one out, his trepidation and anxiety that told him that proposing now would be too soon. He’d never been more certain about anything in his entire life. Why did he need to wait?

Felix turned around and faced Sylvain on his lap, pure and unadulterated joy twisting his face.

“I could not have asked for a better weekend with the best person,” he said sappily, hiding his face in his neck. Sylvain smooched him and squeezed him tightly.

“It’s only one of many, my love” he said instead. The time would come for him to propose, and he was willing to wait for however long it took so it was utterly perfect.

**

They packed up the car on Sunday afternoon in low spirits, not wanting to leave the beautiful cabin or their escape from reality. The only thing they looked forward to getting home to was Barbara, who was absolutely going to give them the cold shoulder for leaving her with Ashe and Caspar all weekend.

As Sylvain pulled away, Felix received an email. He would have absolutely waited to check it if it weren’t from the school board he had applied to, so he discreetly hid his screen and scanned it. He hadn’t yet told Sylvain about the potential job at Flayn’s school, goddess forbid it didn’t work out. He didn’t mind getting his own hopes up but couldn’t bear to do that to his partner. The message was confirming his first round of interviews that coming week, making him have to restrain a yelp of excitement. He quickly typed back a confirmation and hit send, nearly slamming his phone down on his lap afterwards.

“Good news?” Sylvain chuckled, smoothing his thumb over Felix’s knee as he kept his eyes on the road.

“Yep,” Felix smiled, placing his hand over the other’s and squeezing. “It’s a surprise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big thank you to everyone who sents me messages, comments, etc <3 you guys keep me going and i am so very thankful ;;w;;  
my twitter giveaway (@setethstiddies) for a fic of the winner's choice (very short list of ships not included) ends this saturday (dec 15!) please enter if you'd like~  
there will be another christmas chapter for this fic. I CANNOT BE STOPPEDDDDD


	9. Part 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is that time of year when a lot of things seem to happen at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry christmas :)

Felix locked his desk drawer and anxiously powered down his computer, vowing to not take it home on his extended stretch of PTO for the end of the year. With only days before Christmas, he’d finally made it to a week of time off, a whole week to be home with Sylvain and Barbara.

A knock at his door turned his stomach. “Come in.”

“Ah, I see you’re just about to head out, Felix. I wanted to wish you happy holidays. I hope your time off is relaxing.”

“Thanks, Hammond. Same to you.”

“I also wanted to discuss what happened at the holiday party. Surely you can understand how surprised I was to learn you feel that way about me…”

Felix froze and failed to control his glare, gripping his phone tightly in his hand. “Hammond…”

“I thought we were _friends_, Felix.” Ogden shut the door behind him and closed the gap between them. Felix’s pulse quickened and his stomach tightened. “You didn’t have to send your big, scary boyfriend after me.”

Felix wanted to argue with him, but he had no idea how he’d respond. It was late enough now that many people had left already, so he wasn’t sure if anyone could hear them. Ogden came around to his side of the desk and sat on it, smiling down at him with a quiet malice that made Felix’s skin crawl.

“You’re too close,” Felix breathed out. He refused to back away, not wanting Ogden to feel any more power over him than he already did.

“Come now, Felix…”

“Do I need to remind you of the promise he made you? He’s downstairs right now. Waiting for me.” He wanted to add in a comment about how stupid he was to really not have listened to Sylvain’s threat, but instead he silently stood his ground, sweat threatening to form on his brow.

“I’m growing tired of your attitude, Fraldarius,” Ogden muttered angrily, leaning in inches away from Felix’s face. Felix trembled in fear but didn’t budge. “Have a happy holiday,” he continued louder, ripping himself away and storming out of his office. Felix huffed, standing up quickly and swatting tears away from his eyes. He hastily gathered his things and darted out to the hallway, texting Sylvain that he was on his way down.

Once at his boyfriend’s car, he threw everything in the backseat and sighed happily as he slid down into the passenger’s side. “Sylvain, I’m _free_!” he said, hugging him over the center console. 

“I’ve got you all to myself for the next week… I’m so excited, my love,” the redhead replied, kissing it gently and pulling away from the curb. He sang a song about how they wouldn’t wear clothes all week, about how he was going to hang up mistletoe in every room of their apartment so he’d always have an excuse to kiss Felix. “Oh, and—” he turned the wheel to drive into the parking garage. “Flayn and Eisner’s presents came in today. I didn’t know if you wanted to wrap them or let my uncoordinated ass do it, so…”

Felix squeezed his hand and chuckled. “One of yours is in my backpack, so I’ll do it. And no, I’m not telling you what it is.”

Barbara greeted them happily once they walked into the apartment, meowing as she wove her way in between their legs. Felix scooped her up and kissed her as Sylvain worked to remove his jacket from his shoulders. He jumped in pleasant surprise when he began rubbing his back and kissing his neck, closing his eyes and enjoying the affection in the quiet of their home. Their pet purred in his arms and his boyfriend purred against his skin, signaling his brain to truly start to wind down.

Sylvain poured them glasses of wine and turned on their electronic fireplace, playfully lamenting not having a real one. Felix turned on an instrumental Christmas playlist and wrapped himself up in the other’s arms on the couch after turning all the lights off besides those on the tree and a lit candle on the coffee table. They sat in a perfect, comfortable silence, breaking it every now and then with kisses to the other’s lips.

**

Sylvain pushed the cart in the grocery store later that evening, trailing behind Felix while his boyfriend sought out the items on their list. They were hosting a party at their house for the holidays the next day, and Sylvain had volunteered to make all of Felix’s favorite dishes. As they rounded the corner into one of the frozen aisles, his heart stopped dead in his chest.

“M-Mom?” he couldn’t help but say her name in shock, his voice breaking. The woman turned around and gasped, nearly dropping the small basket she had over her arm. Felix, who had walked a little bit ahead, whipped around with his mouth agape. She looked like an older, female version of Sylvain, with the same exact eyes and hair color. She stood even shorter than Felix, having to physically look up at her son.

“Sylvain—my _god_ it’s been _months_—” she hurried over to him and set the basket down on the ground, holding him at arm’s length and gazing up at him. “Do you _live_ around here? Darling, you _must_ tell me where you’re living now…” she fussed with his hair, muttering about how it’d been so long since he’d called.

“Y-yeah, it has.”

Felix walked back over and stood nearby, peering nervously at his boyfriend’s mother.

“We tried to call you on Thanksgiving,” she muttered, straightening the lapels on his blazer. Sylvain sensed she was purposefully avoiding turning around to look at Felix, finding anything she could busy her hands with to keep her focus on him. “Your… _brother_ is back staying with us.”

“Yeah. I heard from him.” Sylvain’s mouth tightened when he remembered their phone call. “Turns out he cornered Ingrid and forced her to talk about me.”

“Oh, dear… Well… I’m sure he just wanted to talk to you, son,” his mother forced, the smile on her face a twisted lie. “I’m sure he’s sorry for… things in the past.”

“Are you?” Sylvain stared directly at her as he said it, seeing Felix lifting his hand to his mouth in surprise when he heard the words.

“A-am I? Sylvain, what do you _mean_?” He saw through her feigned shock instantly, his heart dropping in his chest. He took a step away from her and drew quiet. She shook her head, a quiet, dry laugh escaping her lips.

“Your father wanted you to come back and help this season, you know—” There it was. Sylvain huffed. When he didn’t answer her, she finally turned around and let her eyes pass over Felix. “Who’s this, son?”

Felix panicked, unsure of how Sylvain wanted him to respond. He opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by his boyfriend calling out—

“This is my boyfriend, Felix. We’re living together.”

Felix watched as her expression changed multiple times within the span of few seconds. At first, she was surprised, then her smile twisted up in an extremely fake way. It dropped altogether though when her son’s words fully sank in. She forced a tight-lipped grin onto her mouth and nodded curtly at Felix. She couldn’t even formulate words, only humming briefly and turning back to Sylvain.

“Well. I suppose we shouldn’t look for you at Christmas dinner,” she said bitterly, picking up her basket again. Sylvain silently stared at her in disbelief, eyes watering as he looked down at her. She barely gave him a moment to answer before pushing past him and walking away without another word.

“What the _fuck_ is wrong with her—” Felix made sure she heard him as he dashed over to his boyfriend and wrapped him up in his arms, gripping him achingly as his shoulders shook. His chest burned with anger, wishing he could unload on her here and now. But Sylvain gripped him too desperately, his legs softening to mush when he sniffled against him for him to call after her. “Sylvain, I’m so sorry.”

The redhead sheepishly wiped his eyes and shook his head, gratefully wrapping his arms around Felix’s neck and sighing. “Well. That was my mom. Big old fucking ray of sunshine,” he laughed hollowly. He gripped Felix’s hands thankfully and kissed them.

“She’s fucking awful,” Felix muttered angrily, unable to shake his feeling of hatred towards someone he’d hardly been introduced to properly. “You are so much better than any of them, Sylvain.”

“Thanks, Fe,” Sylvain replied sadly, sighing and forcing himself to not look back to where she’d disappeared to. He slipped his arm down around his boyfriend’s waist. “I at least had _some_ hope she wasn’t as awful as Dad before that little meeting, but…” he shrugged and cast his gaze downward.

Felix held his hand while they continued shopping, listening to Sylvain vent about his horrible family. He told him how every single year, despite the fact that neither one of their sons wanted anything to do with them, they always asked them to come back and work at their father’s company. He learned Miklan did it every single time without fail, hoping his blind loyalty would get him back in favor with their mother and father.

“But it never will. They can’t even accept _me_, their pride and _joy_. He’s insane if he thinks they’ll take him back,” Sylvain laughed darkly, opening his trunk to start loading their groceries into it. Felix stared at him silently and in heartbreak, wishing he could help the love of his life. He had no idea what to do besides love him with all of his rough edges and pain. He wasn’t one to really push an agenda, considering his own baggage and trauma.

When they settled into the car, Sylvain’s phone rang. It was his father, so he immediately rejected the call.

“I’m not listening to this shit now,” he muttered angrily, putting it on silent and throwing it into a cupholder. Felix anxiously watched, as he’d never seen Sylvain this _angry_ before. He wanted to reach out to him, to hold his hand lovingly and kiss away his anxieties, but he was frightened of a potential negative reaction. His heart skipped a beat when Sylvain reached out for him.

“I’m here, babe,” he said quietly, arms slowly wrapping around him over the center console. He rubbed his back and kissed his forehead, heart aching at the way the other’s breath came out of his chest. It was ragged and labored, as though he were fighting off an intense panic attack. “Shhh, I’m here.”

“I just… wish they loved me,” Sylvain started, his voice strained from trying not to cry. “But I know it’s pointless. They’re not going to accept me no matter what I do. They’re the reason why I lied to myself for so long… I was terrified of losing them then, and I’m terrified of finally accepting that they don’t want anything to do with me.”

Felix held him, pained at the hardwired loyalty his lover felt towards his terrible family. He’d never had to deal with a parent who didn’t accept him, but had known plenty of people who did. For them, it’d been easier to cut ties with those who didn’t support them. They didn’t care if those negative influences were gone. For Sylvain, though, it was a different story.

“Maybe it’ll give you closure to talk to them then, love,” he said quietly, raising Sylvain’s chin up so he’d look at him. “You never know until you try. And if after you put it out on the table, and they still don’t want to open their minds, then you need to move on. There’s no sense in putting yourself through that _heartache_.” Felix’s voice broke as he stared at his lover, who looked more broken and defeated now than the night Miklan had called him.

“Maybe…” Sylvain mumbled, running his thumbs over Felix’s hands.

“Hey—We should do something Christmas-y tonight. Let’s go to the botanical garden and look at the lights, my treat!” Felix kissed his hands and smiled softly at him.

“Yes. God, that’ll be perfect. _You’re_ perfect,” Sylvain muttered happily, blushing as he wiped tears out of his eyes. He hugged Felix tightly and grasped him thankfully, breathing out a sigh of relief at how his lover comforted him.

**

After a good night’s sleep (and Felix making love to him in front of their fireplace, kissing every inch of his body in the peaceful quiet of their home), Sylvain’s mood was exponentially higher the next morning as they prepared for the party with their close friends. He pecked Felix happily every time the other walked by him, pulling him away from the laundry, stopping him as he attempted to get a glass of water from the fridge. He’d envelop his boyfriend in grateful, happy embraces, thanking him for taking care of him and telling him how in love with him he was.

When the food had been prepared and all the chores were done, Sylvain gathered Felix on his lap underneath a blanket on the couch. He submitted to Felix’s affection, smiling happily as the other ran his fingers over his skin. He didn’t even mind the goosebumps and ticklish spots, using their proximity as an excuse to shower him with more kisses.

“I’m so thankful I have you, Felix,” he said quietly, lips resting against his boyfriend’s shoulder. He’d flipped him around to hug his body against his own, allowing both of them to watch the snow falling outside.

“This has been the best year of my life, Syl.” Despite the unpleasantries that still haunted both of them, they had each other. Felix never wanted Sylvain to know another lonely or sad day, hoping he’d truly be able to fully separate himself from his parents for necessary healing. Likewise, Sylvain promised to protect Felix from anything that threatened to hurt him, whether that be Ogden or his ex.

When their friends started arriving for the party, they were instantly thrown a new surprise when they opened the door to the second set of guests.

“You’re _pregnant_?!” Felix asked ecstatically, eyes instantly drawn to Byleth’s bump. He bounced happily on his feet and hugged his arms around her and Eisner.

“Four months. I wanted to wait to tell everybody until I was further along. I’m very surprised Seteth didn’t blabber when you two were over before!” She followed them into the living room, where Ashe was on the floor with Barbara.

“How _excited_ is Flayn? How excited is _Seteth_?” Felix asked in raw joy, bouncing on his feet as he walked alongside his old professor. Sylvain watched with that familiar fire burning in his stomach, heart trembling at Felix’s excitement.

“Congratulations, Seteth,” he said warmly, taking the food they’d brought and setting it on the kitchen counter. He brought the older man into a brief but warm hug.

“Thank you. I am… extremely happy and blessed,” the older man said softly, his facial reaction threatening tears in Sylvain’s eyes. Seteth gazed silently over at his wife, his abject joy and love for her weaving a quiet fairy-tail like story of happiness across his face. He helped Sylvain set up the assortment of food and snacks while Felix fretted over her.

“How did your interview go?” Byleth whispered, making the excuse of wanting to see their tree in the far corner of the room. He flushed and peeked anxiously back at his boyfriend, comfortable with the distance between them.

“It was wonderful. I have another round in January once the holidays are over,” he mumbled happily, lightly touching one of their ornaments that had a picture of Flayn and newborn Eisner. “Byleth—I can’t tell you how much your recommendations meant to me—” he said quietly, looking back at her husband. He hugged her gratefully and squeezed her hands.

“I’m so, _so_ very excited and happy for you, Fraldarius,” she smiled, returning the hug. She jumped and looked at him with a smile. “Seteth, the baby is moving!” Her husband was beside them in an instant, shortly followed by Flayn. Felix held back tears as he smiled over at Sylvain, clasping his hands happily over his chest. He trembled when she asked if he wanted to feel, heart full when he placed his hand on her belly.

When Dedue and Dimitri arrived, Dedue pulled Felix into the kitchen.

“Felix, I was wondering if you’d be one of my groomsmen for our wedding,” he asked gently. “We are planning the ceremony for May, if you would be so kind to join us.” Felix stared open mouthed at his childhood friend, nodding furiously and hugging him.

“Dedue, of course. I’m so—_honored_ and ecstatic you want me to be a part of this. Thank you.” He texted Sylvain the good news, knowing he’d probably bawl like a baby if he said the words out loud.

Unfortunately, Sylvain had blindly answered his phone and had excused himself to their bedroom.

“Miklan, I swear to _Christ_ I’m changing my fucking number— Quit calling me from random phones.”

“Sylvain, hear me out, please—”

“No, fuck you! You think I want to hear from _you_ after running into Mom tonight?”

“Sylvain.”

“_What_.”

His brother was quiet on the end of the line, the only sound being his drag from his cigarette.

“She was crying when she got home.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure; her perfect fucking son is fucking a dude—”

“No, I mean after she told Dad what happened. I heard her on the phone with her sister, I think. She said she wanted to see you again. To apologize.”

Sylvain scoffed and angrily ran his hand through his hair. “You’re so full of shit, Miklan…”

“Look, I’m just trying to help here, Sylvain,” his brother spat. He heard him lighting another cigarette and winced.

“Why though? That call from before Thanksgiving said otherwise.”

“That’s because you never let me finish, prick,” Miklan grumbled. “But hell, it’s Christmas. Might as well do something useful for once in my life, right?” His brother ended the call, leaving Sylvain standing silently in his bedroom, breath ragged. He grunted and tossed his phone to the bed, returning to the party to clear his head.

“Sylvain, is everything okay?” Dimitri asked, concern on his face when he watched him slightly slam the door.

“Y-yeah, sorry for disappearing like that,” Sylvain smiled, touching his arm lightly in apology.

“No worries, of course. Felix was looking for you, though. I’m thinking it was to relay the news,” he smiled warmly.

“News?”

“Dedue asked him to be a groomsman for our wedding in May,” Dimitri gushed, eyeing his fiancé in the kitchen with Seteth.

“Oh my god—you guys set a date?! That’s so incredible, Dima, we’re so excited for you both,” Sylvain replied tenderly, hugging him. Sylvain’s stomach soared when he thought about it; getting to see a wedding between two men was something he’d dreamed about since he was a teenager. It had come up in his childhood, of course, but was always met with stinging, uncomfortable venom from his parents and friends. He was grateful that it was happening to a couple so closed to his beloved, as well.

After hugging once more after Dimitri excused himself, Sylvain scanned the immediate area for Felix, grinning when his eyes landed on him on the floor with Eisner and Flayn.

“Hey, honey,” he said softly, squatting down to kiss his cheek. “Miklan called, sorry about that,” he muttered in his ear. Felix shot around and looked at him with concern.

“Is everything okay?” he asked quietly. Sylvain nodded and told him he’d tell him later, sliding down to pull his boyfriend between his legs while they played with the kids.

The guests slowly departed, the happiness and love felt in the party something they didn’t want to leave. Felix and Sylvain almost felt a little empty without the company of their closest friends, but once they regrouped and held each other in front of their bedroom door, everything instantly fell back into place and filled them. Sylvain held Felix’s head in his hands as he gazed down into his eyes, lights from the Christmas tree making them shine. He kissed him long and tenderly before scooping him up into his arms and carrying him to their bed.

“I… want _you_ to make love to me tonight, Sylvain,” Felix whispered as his lover tenderly removed his clothes. Sylvain responded with a hungry but gentle kiss to his lips, hands gripping into his hair. He nodded quietly with a smile, reaching down into their nightstand to grab the lube. He lazily dropped it to the side of the bed and pulled Felix onto his lap, Sylvain’s back up against the headboard.

The redhead pulled down Felix’s large t-shirt he’d worn under his Christmas sweater, pecking small, wet kisses into his collarbone. The younger man closed his eyes gratefully and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s shoulders, grinding his hips softly against him. Sylvain explored the other’s body lovingly with his hands, squeezing Felix in every spot he knew would make him gasp. Fingernails went into his hip with a smile, tongue grazed over his nipple with a wink. Felix whimpered into Sylvain’s neck, beginning to pant quietly against him.

When Sylvain’s hands at last reached his twitching erection, Felix laughed hollowly into his ear and achingly grinded up against his boyfriend’s groin. “D-don’t tease me,” he pleaded, reaching down to shove the waistband of Sylvain’s pants down. He moaned when he acquiesced without a struggle, lifting up so he could pull them off and toss them lazily to the ground. He latched his tongue onto the redhead’s neck when he felt him fully hard without Felix touching him nearly at all.

Sylvain palmed him while he pressed his tongue into his mouth, head going numb at Felix’s moans against him. He trembled from his shoulders down to his legs, hands grabbing desperately into the undershirt Sylvain still wore. Sylvain pushed him back gently only so he could slide his tongue down under his foreskin, sucking gently as he hollowed his cheeks. Felix jerked up into his lips, a sensual, pleading grunt shaking his chest.

Felix fell back onto the bed and pulled the other with him, wrapping his hands around his balls and cock and working them. “Please fuck me, Syl—I love you so much and I _need_ you—”

Sylvain breathed out deeply through his nose and pulled off his shirt, groaning out into the quiet of their bedroom as Felix’s hands massaged him. He bent down to kiss him, sliding his tongue achingly along the inside of his mouth, sighing happily. “Not as much as I need you, Fe.” He picked up the bottle of lube and poured some on his index and middle finger, gazing down at his lover’s beautiful form. He wanted to consume him, he looked so beautiful. His long limbs reaching up for him, the softness of his hands against his groin, it was all almost too much for Sylvain to process. He bent down to kiss him as he pressed his index finger down into him.

“Hahhn—_yes_, Syl, please—f-fuck…” Felix anxiously moved his ass down around the other’s finger, hissing in pleasure. Sylvain clearly paid attention to how he’d been doing it for months, applying the perfect amount of pressure and massaging his insides with care. Felix panted into the crook of his arm, fighting the urge to tell Sylvain to add another. He didn’t want to rush him, didn’t want him to think this wasn’t special, as it was his first time.

The younger man about blacked out when Sylvain dropped his mouth over his cock, swirling his tongue around it inside his wet mouth. He did so as his prayers were answered with his middle finger slipping in alongside the other. He shuddered and cried out as Sylvain’s lovely eyes stared up his torso at him, unwavering in their love and intensity as he pleasured him. Felix fully relaxed at the affection, a devilish smile making its way onto Sylvain’s face.

“Are you ready for me, my sweet?” he asked saccharinely, sucking the base of Felix’s erection before dragging his tongue up the shaft.

“Y-yes, I’m ready for you, my heart,” Felix breathed out, toes curling at the sides of Sylvain’s hips. Time seemed to slow immensely as he watched him lubing up his cock, heart pounding so hard against his rib cage he could barely hear anything else. Felix felt as though he could die happy—after his boyfriend finally fucked him, of course—if this were the last thing to ever happen to him. He couldn’t help but let a soft laugh out of his mouth as the redhead shuddered at his own touch. “I love you so much, Sylvain.”

“I’m going to show you how much I love you, Felix,” he replied with a small smile, pulse intensifying at the multitude of meanings behind his words. Felix didn’t know it, but his engagement ring had been purchased that day. It was currently still in a small black box buried deep inside Sylvain’s trunk, waiting until the perfect moment to emerge. Sylvain had initially wanted to propose at the party, but had decided he wanted the moment to be just between the two of them.

With another kiss down on his lips, then his sternum, and finally just above his groin, Sylvain smiled at Felix and took a deep breath as he guided the head of his erection into him. Felix’s attempt at quieting his pants and whimpers set Sylvain’s body on fire, trying to do the same as he slowly pressed inside him. He let his head fall back and his eyes close, brain short circuiting at the tightness of Felix’s ass and how it hugged his cock. When he made it in to his base, he grunted in satisfaction and gripped his boyfriend’s thighs near his ass.

“This feels so _fucking _good,” Sylvain breathed out, making Felix chuckle softly. “You feel so amazing around me, Fe…” His breath caught in his throat when Felix clenched his ass tighter around him and lightly slammed it down on his cock. The other’s face was red and contorted in pleasure, teeth biting down on his bottom lip in anticipation.

“Fuck me, Sylvain Jose,” Felix commanded softly, repeating the movement down around his erection, moaning as he felt him twitch along his insides.

Sylvain smirked down at his boyfriend and nodded. _Fuck_, he’d really been paying attention—

Felix shook as his moans and broken variations of ‘yes’, ‘fuck’, and other expletives poured out of his mouth. He gripped the sheets at his head roughly and laid back as Sylvain fucked him, unable to focus on any one aspect of it all. His boyfriend gripped his ass but also ran his fingers along the bottom side of his thighs, squeezed the little bit of fat on his legs up near his groin before dragging his nails down his abdomen. His hands danced around his cock, sneakily avoiding it while their owner gasped and panted. All the while, his hips had started a rhythm that made Felix’s lower half want to go numb, a mix of long, deep thrusts coupled with short ones where he wouldn’t even fully penetrate him.

Sylvain didn’t have to fight hard to keep his eyes open, not wanting to miss a single expression on his lover’s face or any jutting of his hips. He bent down and gently pried his mouth open so he could suck on his tongue, carefully fucking him quicker as he whimpered against him.

“You like that, baby?” he whispered, sliding his hands up his torso and pinching his nipples. Felix keened pitifully and nodded, bringing his legs up around Sylvain’s waist and tightening them. The redhead smiled and reached around to his backside and spanked him, chuckling when Felix covered his mouth and moaned.

“M-more of that, love, _please_,” the younger man pleaded, back arching off the bed. Sylvain slowed his hips and lovingly pulled Felix up onto his lap, staying on his knees so he could continue thrusting up into him. He ravaged his neck with bites and sucks as he held him close to his chest and spanked him, panting into Felix’s ear. Felix attempted to bounce on his lover in tandem, but was so turned on by their closeness he couldn’t.

“S-sorry,” he laughed hollowly, letting his head fall back and sitting still. His hips shook when he forced them to stop moving.

“Ssshh,” Sylvain reassured him, moving both hands to Felix’s hips. He gripped them strongly and found the perfect rhythm of slamming him down on his cock and fucking up into him, full moans now making his chest heave. Felix was a sputtering mess, unable to form coherent words. Sylvain had found his prostate, and the resulting grunt out of Felix only brought the force of his erection harder. To keep himself from screaming, he buried his face down into Sylvain’s chest and achingly held on around his neck.

“I love you; I love you; I-I love you, Syl-Sylvain,” he panted, lungs burning in his chest. He palmed his own cock quickly and tossed his head back, predicting he was going to make an absolute mess of them both when he came. His lover pressed his tongue inside his mouth one more time and smiled, sending him over the edge. “F-fuck! I’m c-cumming, I’m cumming—” Sylvain made out with him as he finished, his strong hands holding on around his hips and ass. His load coated his hands and the other’s stomach, drops even landing up on their chests.

“W-where should I—”

“Outside, I w-want to see,” Felix grunted, yanking Sylvain’s hair back as he clashed their teeth together. Sylvain growled and lowered him back onto the bed, thrusting harder and faster, milking every single clench of Felix’s ass around him. He growled in pleasure as he pulled out, eyes half-lidded as he came on the other’s abdomen, voice deep and raspy in his throat.

“F-Felix… Goddamn—” Felix bit his lip hungrily and squirmed as his boyfriend unloaded on him, reaching up to run his fingers over the other’s hole. Sylvain jumped and laughed hoarsely, head falling back as he struggled to breathe. He shuddered as he coursed the last bit of his orgasm out of his dick, squeezing himself from the base all the way to the tip. He blushed horribly when Felix sat up on his arms to take him into his mouth, legs shaking as he licked his cock clean.

“Syl—that was,” Felix had to take a deep breath, falling back onto the covers, “_Incredible_…”

“Not too bad for my first time, huh?” Sylvain breathed out, falling back on his ass against the headboard, squeezing Felix’s thighs lovingly. His heart fluttered at his boyfriend’s laugh.

“You never fail to amaze me, Syl… I love you.”

“I love you too, Felix.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)  
twitter: @setethstiddies!


	10. Part 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix learns more about his boyfriend's past after a nasty encounter with his mother and brother at the grocery store. Each time he obtains new information about Sylvain's family, he hates them more and more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long hiatus on this one! ;___; I ended up retconning the last pit of part 9 because I realized I didn't want them to be engaged yet. It wasn't time. So I cut that part of the story out entirely and have moved on with it. But I feel a lot better now and know it'll pay off in the long term :)   
This is for my sweet angel Natalie who has been going through an extremely difficult time right now ;n; I love you so much and wish I was there to give you a hug. You are so strong Natalie, please don't ever forget that <3  
Please enjoy this update! I want to get back to updating this fic regularly, it is still very special to me despite the time I spent away from it! Please leave me a comment if you enjoyed~

Felix took a deep breath before he went to start Sylvain’s car. He’d let him borrow it for the day for his second round of interviews with the school district, so his hands were gripped tightly on the steering wheel. Not just from interview anxiety, but also after remembering it had been at least four years since he’d last driven. He glanced down at his phone in the cupholder, where a picture of the two of them could be seen on his illuminated lock screen. It was still a Christmas photo of them despite it being mid-January, but the image of them in front of Byleth and Seteth’s massive tree in their home was too breathtaking to change. He took his phone in his hands and shot his boyfriend a text.

_Heading home now. I’m drinking as soon as I get home. Be naked for me._

As he went to put the car in drive, it buzzed again. He nearly screamed when Sylvain sent back a nude photo of him at his desk, cock erect and a pen in his mouth. Felix blushed and slammed his fingers over the keys before typing out ‘_get back to work__♡ _’ He set it down in his bag and zipped it up, pulling out of the parking lot with butterflies in his stomach.

The interview could not have gone better. He and the panel from the school board had had a good conversation about why he wanted the job. Not once had he complained about his current employer, wanting to maintain a total air of professionalism for them. Both Byleth and Seteth had come up, and the interviewers had been delighted to hear he’d studied under them both in college. Overall, he felt confident. The hiring pool had been cut before this round, they had told him, so Felix was at the point where the job was either going to him or one of three other people. He sincerely hoped his experience and drive would be enough to land him the position in Flayn’s school.

Felix wheeled the car into the grocery store parking lot, wanting to treat himself for the stressful morning he’d had. He grabbed a carton of his favorite ice cream inside, feeling guilt-free as he picked up Sylvain’s as well. There was nothing wrong with not caring about eating healthy every now and then, and they’d been good since Christmas.

He couldn’t believe his eyes as he walked past the ATM that stood near the self-checkout. Either Sylvain’s mother was standing there with who he assumed was his brother, or his eyes and brain were playing tricks on him. Felix attempted to go past them without catching their gaze, but she whipped around just as he made it out of her peripheral.

“You! You’re Felix, right?” her tone of voice was softer than the last time he’d heard her weeks prior, with even a small hint of desperation. Felix stiffened but nodded. He had plenty of experience being confronted; his ex-boyfriend had made it a pastime before Felix finally ended things between them. Sylvain’s mother shot a look at the tall redhead standing beside her, who jerked his head back towards Felix silently. “Look… I know we didn’t meet on the best terms…”

“You treated your son like he was vermin,” Felix spat quietly, hand clenching around the ice cream in his arms. “You shouldn’t worry about the terms you and _I_ are on.” Her shoulders drooped at that, but she nodded very slowly.

“You’re absolutely right, Felix. Truly you are. There is no excuse for my behavior. Sylvain isn’t here with you, is he? I—” she stopped, and the other man she was with put his hand on her shoulder. “I wanted… to apologize to him.” It looked to Felix like the words pained her to say, but he couldn’t pinpoint whether it was genuine guilt or a forced act.

“No, he’s at home working.”

“I’ve tried to call him,” the tall man said, instantaneously raising Felix’s blood pressure.

“Yeah. We’d both appreciate it if you stopped that,” he replied bitterly. “I’m not sure how clearer he can be that he doesn’t want to talk to any of you. Between his father calling at all hours of the night and you—”

“His… father is calling him?” Sylvain’s mother nearly stumbled backwards, but the redhead beside her caught her. “W-when? Do they speak?”

Felix’s eyebrow raised at her incredulously. How could she not know her husband was calling their son? Well, there were plenty of ways, but none that immediately stood out to Felix. “He calls late at night when we’re trying to sleep. Or early in the morning when Sylvain is working. He doesn’t pick up the calls.”

“Mom…”

“I know, Miklan, I know,” she said quietly, putting her head in her hands and sighing. “Felix… I won’t keep you. I know you do not wish to speak to either of us, and I cannot blame you for that,” she said sadly. She stepped forward and put a soft, unsure hand on his shoulder. He jumped but didn’t move, watching her like a hawk. “If you could… please just tell Sylvain that I wish to talk to him. If you don’t, I understand. But I’d really, sincerely like to apologize to him. I want to tell you I’m sorry as well.

“Thank you for making my son happy. Last time I saw you here, I saw you two walking around together before he found me. I’ve… never seen Sylvain so happy before in his life. I know my husband and I weren’t easy on him growing up. We knew he was… not like other boys his age.” Her eyes began to water and Miklan once again put his hand on her shoulder. Felix could feel his stomach in a weird state of tensing and relaxing, unsure how he should be digesting what was unfurling before him.

Sylvain had told him nothing but the harm his parents had done to him mentally as a child. Outwardly and viciously putting down anyone they believed to be homosexual, threatening him physically and emotionally if he did anything they considered remotely feminine. Hearing his mother’s words now it appeared as though they feared him being gay, and Felix bitterly laughed to himself because of that. Their abuse couldn’t have and didn’t stop Sylvain being comfortable with who he was, and he so desperately wanted to tell his mother that. Their abuse hadn’t utterly destroyed the man he loved as a person, surprisingly, which was something Felix almost thought wasn’t possible because of the severity of their treatment.

“When Sylvain is ready to speak with you, he will. I don’t believe either of you deserve it. He is such…” Felix stepped back away from Sylvain’s mother’s hand, clenching his fist defiantly. “He is such a _loving_, _caring_ man. What you people… _did_ to him was unforgiveable, if you ask me. If he never wants to see any of you again, I will support him. You _better_ remember that he is happy now. Happy being himself, happy being away from all of _you_.

“I will tell him I saw you and that you wish to speak to him.”

He gave them an exasperated look. It took everything in his power not to cry, seeing two of the people who had made Sylvain’s life hell hurt worse than he could ever imagine. Miklan, the one who had pushed him into a well, breaking his arm, scarring him for life both mentally and physically. Then his mother, the woman who was too much of a coward to stand up to her abusive husband, the one who let her youngest child get treated the way he did and not do anything about it. Felix took a sharp breath and walked away, fighting the tears still as he checked out and hurried home to his Sylvain.

**

Sylvain jumped up when he heard the front door unlocking. He was pretty sure Felix had been joking about drinking when he got home, but nonetheless he’d prepared him his favorite spiced rum and coke combo. Still nude but now sadly lacking an erection for Felix to wrap himself around, he greeted him in the foyer with a cocky smile. When he saw that Felix was clearly stressed and anxious, his grin dropped and he set down the drink before pulling his boyfriend into his arms.

“Fe? Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked him quietly, feeling him melt into his embrace, hands shaking slightly. Felix was quiet, breathing deeply into his bare chest after buying his nose in it. He let his backpack fall to the ground gently as he wrapped his arms around Sylvain’s waist with a sigh.

“Is that a rum and coke?” he asked with a small smile, eyes darting over to the glass nearby. When Sylvain nodded and kissed his forehead, he reached over and downed it. A shudder ripped down his spine. “Thanks, Syl.” He set the glass down and stood up on his toes to kiss his boyfriend deeply, achingly holding on to his hand on his waist and gripping his lovely red locks. He didn’t want to let go of him; wanted to keep him at his side for the rest of the day. Part of him didn’t even want to tell Sylvain about his mom and brother.

“Felix?” Sylvain repeated softly, running his hands up the back of Felix’s shirt that he’d pulled out of his pants. Felix whined and looked up at him, gently putting his hand up on his boyfriend’s cheek. He quickly put the ice cream in the freezer and took his hand to lead him to the bedroom, throwing off his formal interview attire before curling up in his arms on their bed.

“I ran into your mom again at the store. She had Miklan with her.”

Sylvain sighed and put his hand over his eyes, much like she had. Felix clutched him and put his arm over his waist while he took a few deep breaths.

“What did she say to you?” He was right next to Felix in the safety and comfort of their home, yet he sounded like he was a million miles away. Felix looked at him sadly and traced hearts on his chest.

“She said she wanted to speak with you,” Felix whispered, choosing to leave out their shock that his father had been calling him for now. He knew Sylvain didn’t want to hear any of this, so he wanted to gradually let out the information. When Sylvain let out an exasperated half whimper, half groan, Felix pulled him close and pressed loving kisses around his face and lips. Soft, slow, and sweet, running his hands lightly over his lover’s skin. “I… kind of gave them a piece of my mind. But ultimately I said you’d only talk to them when you were ready.”

Sylvain chuckled at that and pressed his tongue into Felix’s mouth, gliding it around slowly as they kissed on their bed. It was certainly not the news he’d been expecting, nor news he wanted to hear. But hearing that his partner had given his mother and brother a mouthful made it just bearable enough.

“What did you say to her?” he laughed, removing his tongue but still speaking quietly against Felix’s mouth. Felix flushed and closed his eyes; he’d been hoping Sylvain wouldn’t ask…

“I told her she treated you like vermin... That _none_ of them deserve your attention, your thoughts, your time.” Felix traced along Sylvain’s facial features, the ones that so similarly resembled the woman that was his mother. Yet it was the beautiful face and body that housed the most loving soul Felix had ever met, could ever hope to meet. The man that was Sylvain, _his_ Sylvain, the person who deserved a family like them less than anything else in the world. How he wished to tell him he wanted them to have a new family of their own, wanted Sylvain to fully leave his biological one behind. They could adopt children and show them what love from a parent was really supposed to be like. Or they could adopt animals and save lives. Felix just so desperately wanted Sylvain to be happy by his side without the looming presence of his mother, brother, and father hanging over him.

“Felix, I love you,” Sylvain muttered, his eyes closing but little tears forming in the corners.

Felix wouldn’t dare let them fall, reaching up to wipe them gently away while kissing the redhead’s lips.

“I love you too, Sylvain. You know what I want to say about them. A world without them is one you deserve. Do you… want to talk to them, though?”

Sylvain was quiet, mulling it over in his head. He didn’t speak for a long time, silently going between thinking with his eyes closed and kissing Felix. This wasn’t the first time this had happened; one of his ways of destressing was holding him close and doing just this. His hands would travel around the younger man innocently as he held him through the threat of a panic attack.

“I… don’t know. Not right now, anyway,” he eventually replied, looking over into Felix’s eyes with fear and uncertainty.

“I’m here for you, whatever you want to do, Syl,” Felix said reassuringly, smoothing Sylvain’s red hair down and hugging him close to his chest. “If you want to talk with them and bring me, I’ll call out of work. I’d… rather you not go alone, admittedly, but if that’s what you’d prefer, I support you. If you never want to see them again, you won’t. I just want your heart to be able to mend, my love.”

Sylvain shuddered in his arms at his last statement, a strained noise coming out of his mouth as he curled up into a ball and embraced Felix like his life depended on it. He’d never felt so vulnerable before in his life. He knew it wasn’t the case but showing this side of himself to Felix was something he feared would make him think less of him. But Felix understood, Felix was there for him. There like nobody but Ashe had ever been, but important to him in a much more intimate way.

Felix engulfed him in an embrace and brought the blanket that lie along the bottom of the bed up over them. He hummed quietly and soothingly, rubbing his boyfriend’s back.

“Thanks for telling me, baby,” he muttered quietly, slipping a hand up underneath his shirt. He placed it and his ear over Felix’s heart, shuddering in relaxation when he felt and heard it. “You know… Miklan tried to tell me the same thing when he called me at our party. But I thought he was just being a prick like always...”

“Your mom said something about how they were hard on you… you know, if you did anything they’d consider ‘gay’.”

“Oh god, if that’s not the truth,” Sylvain grumbled, pouting slightly as he instinctively snuggled in closer to Felix. “You might not believe this, but they were worse to Miklan.” Sylvain peeped his eyes open and grinned softly at the incredulous look on Felix’s face. “Sure, I couldn’t walk a certain way without my dad calling me something shitty, but Mik could barely exist without them putting him down.

“Maybe they knew before we did that we were both gay. Miklan is a big, salty asshole now, but before my father really mentally… and sometimes physically beat it out of him, he was super sensitive. You could even have called him kind.”

Felix held onto Sylvain in shock, trying to process his words. “Your father… he—”

“All the time. I grew up watching him beat them both.”

It was something he hadn’t ever told Felix, or anyone, really. The verbal abuse from his father had been horrific. But each time he’d seen him put his hands on Miklan, on his mother, more and more of Sylvain had become broken. He’d watched his big brother, his hero for the longest time, scream and cry. His mother would be silent, wouldn’t even allow a tear to fall down her cheek. Sylvain would try to go to them after, comfort them, even when he was very small. But each time he tried Miklan would shove him away and his mother wouldn’t say a word and leave the room.

Felix was shell shocked. This was the kind of thing you saw in movies. A hero would learn about the abuser and they’d be taken to jail. But Sylvain told him this lasted up until the day his father finally threw Miklan out into the street when he was seventeen years old. Felix shook as Sylvain recounted the story of his father finding messages on his phone between him and a guy at school. Had it not been for the pictures, it probably wouldn’t have escalated to the point it did.

“Sylvain—I can’t—” Felix had to sit up and tuck his legs up to his chest, staring in horror at his boyfriend. “Nobody was there to help you. I see that now… yet I’m so sickened and disgusted. How… how did you turn out this way despite all that?”

Sylvain knew he was just talking out loud, but he scooted over and put his head in his lap. Felix held him as he softly cried, running his fingers anxiously through his hair.

“I wouldn’t say I turned out perfect,” he chuckled. “But I got you even though I’m not.”

**

Later that evening, they moved out of the depressing darkness of their bedroom and ventured out into the den. Barbara purred loudly on Sylvain’s lap while he flipped through channels, rolling around onto her back for belly rubs. His arm was around Felix’s shoulder, rubbing it absentmindedly. He flipped past the horror channel quickly, hoping whatever was on it wouldn’t catch Felix’s eye.

“Wait, go back!” It was a shitty, early 2000s gore fest, something he wouldn’t watch on his own but knew Felix ate up. It looked like it had just started. Sylvain peered over at Felix, who had a wanting in his eyes that he couldn’t refuse.

“I’ll pause it if you go make popcorn!” he smiled, hitting the button on the remote. Felix excitedly kissed him and dashed away into the kitchen, his nearly bare ass exposed as he went. He’d adorned an oversized sweater over the thong he’d ‘randomly’ from his underwear drawer. Sylvain didn’t believe for a second that it had been accidental with his choice of top, so he’d conveniently left his pants off as well when they left the bedroom to get comfy on the couch. He’d also conveniently brought lube out with him, it casually sitting out on the coffee table like a bottle of water might. Felix hadn’t said anything about it, but Sylvain knew his boyfriend well enough that he’d spotted it and was just biding his time before they started fooling around.

When he came back a few minutes later with the popcorn and some sodas, Barbara sidled off his lap and curled up on her bed that sat in the corner of their sectional. Felix claimed Sylvain’s lap as his seat quickly with a smile, sitting directly over his groin. He stretched his long, lithe legs out onto the ottoman in between the couch and the table. Felix snuggled back up against his boyfriend’s back and sighed happily when his large arms came around to hold him around his middle.

The movie was abysmal. Every time a character got murdered, Sylvain would go to wince but would end up snorting because Felix was _so scared_. A girl’s head got lobbed clear off her shoulders and he whimpered into the crook of his arm, bouncing on Sylvain’s lap in the process. Truthfully, Sylvain figured he wasn’t doing _that part_ on purpose, but his cock couldn’t ignore the sensation of his ass rubbing up against him or the softness of his thighs against his own. When another character was mercilessly disposed of mere seconds later, he caught Felix before he could jump and slid his hand down over his cock.

Felix wouldn’t look back at him, but there was an undeniable smile creeping onto his face. Sylvain’s breath burned out of him as Felix spread his legs and nearly sank his ass around his growing erection. He traced the lace pattern on his thong slowly, sneaking closer to his neck to kiss while they watched a group of characters attempting to get out of the murder house on their TV. He could tell by the way the other man moved his hips against him that he was hungry, the sensation of Sylvain’s dick against him quickly making him lose interest in the movie.

But still they munched on their popcorn, sipped from their sodas while they were unable to tear their eyes away from the screen. One of Sylvain’s hands traveled up Felix’s sweater and tweaked his nipple while the other one slipped down under the thong, his hand slowly and casually rubbing his base and balls. He pressed a kiss every now and then to his neck, only then feeling his desire truly bubbling in his stomach. It was when Felix finally let a strained whimper out of his mouth that Sylvain took his entire cock in his hand and began to pump.

“Hhhann—Syl…” Felix became putty in his arms, laying his head back down against Sylvain’s shoulder. Sylvain nuzzled his jaw with his nose and lips, humming softly. The redhead moved his other hand down and rubbed the inside of his boyfriend’s thigh, pressing slow, deep kisses into his cheek and neck. Felix’s ass moved purposefully over his cock, moving himself as though he hoped to pull down his boxers with no hands. Sylvain’s face flushed crimson with desire when he felt a bit of precum leak out of him and create a wet spot on the thong. When Felix noticed, he shoved his eyes closed and smiled bashfully.

“Mmm… I didn’t know I felt so good,” Felix said with a raised eyebrow, reaching up into Sylvain’s hair and pulling as he lifted off his lap to slowly bring his ass down around his cock.

“As if,” Sylvain growled in response, thumbing over Felix’s slit and smirking when his boyfriend whined. He let out a soft breath when Felix leaned forward on his lap and reached for the lube on the table. Cheeky bastard.

“Don’t even act like this wasn’t your plan,” Felix muttered, his ears going red the same time as his face.

“I just wanted to watch a movie with my partner,” Sylvain replied with a sly wink, gently rubbing his index finger over Felix’s entrance. “And you’re the one who put on that thong. Randomly pulled it out of the right side of your drawer that _conveniently_ holds all your naughty panties, huh?”

“You’re so full of it.”

“Well you’re about to be full of _me_.”

Sylvain could see Felix biting down on his bottom lip, neck slowly turning so he could look at him. He stubbornly didn’t reply, just grabbed his boyfriend by the chin and planted a deep kiss on his lips. Felix laid back on his chest and exposed his ass more, eyes lazily drifting back to the movie as his eyebrows raised on his forehead. Sylvain hummed happily and slid his hand out of the thong, rubbing over the other’s growing erection as it strained against the small patch of fabric.

The redhead latched onto Felix’s neck and sucked. His breath hitched in his throat when the man on top of him once again began grinding his ass down over his groin, turned on by the fact that Felix was able to maintain a straight face. Sylvain knew deep down he was just biding his time before he let his sounds of pleasure out, teasing him with the promise of that symphony if he was patient. If the swelling of his cock underneath that thong was any indicator though he knew it wouldn’t be long, his thin fingers so lovingly rubbing over him.

Sylvain slid his left hand down in between Felix’s legs and spanked his ass. He smiled into his skin as a nearly inaudible whimper could be heard in the back of his throat. Felix’s toes could be seen curling on his thighs where his feet rested. Sylvain grabbed his thigh near his groin and squeezed the soft skin there, sinking his teeth down into his flesh on his neck.

“F-fuck.” With the expletive Sylvain felt his own erection become painfully hard. He reached for the lube, keeping his hand over Felix’s cock until he poured the liquid on his fingers. With a lick of his tongue from the top of Felix’s shoulder up to his ear he breathed out deeply before sighing contentedly.

“I love you, Fe,” he whispered, moving his hand up to his stomach and hugging him closely. The affection made Felix squirm in his lap; Sylvain could feel the corners of his mouth turning up in a happy smile. “I love you… so much. This is just a small way for me to show you.” He eased his middle finger up inside him and squeezed him again lovingly when his boyfriend took a deep breath. Felix shuddered around him and whined quietly out into the warm air around them.

“Getting to be with you everyday. Being _loved_ by you every _single_ day.” He slowly moved his digits in and out, panting quietly against Felix’s back as he massaged his insides. His boyfriend was quickly failing at keeping in his noises, his breath hurried and desperate away from Sylvain’s face. The redhead tugged on the string of Felix’s thong with his thumb, his stomach fluttering at the pitiful moan that poured out of him.

“’Vain—A-add another,” Felix whispered, bouncing his hips down over Sylvain’s groin and his finger. He fumbled for the lube and touched the lid to Sylvain’s index finger, whining as he squeezed the bottle. He grunted desperately and dropped the lube before reaching down to take his boyfriend’s hard erection in his hand. “I love you t-too. You—_ahhn_—you love me so well...” He turned his neck as best he could and shoved his tongue in the redhead’s mouth, panting achingly in between smooches.

Sylvain eased in his second finger and quivered at the warmth and tightness of Felix, stretching him gradually. He finally moved aside the fabric of the thong and let free his cock, growling hungrily in the other man’s ear when he saw he was already leaking precum.

“Make yourself feel good while I prep you, baby,” Sylvain muttered into his ear, guiding Felix’s hand to his cock. “I want to watch you touch yourself and shake at your own hand.”

Felix wanted Sylvain to do it, but when it put it that way, he desperately wanted to give his lover such a show. He furrowed his brow as Sylvain stretched him, his lover rubbing his stomach and thighs lovingly when it was clear that it hurt. Felix brought his hand to his cock, whimpering when he began to pump himself.

“You’re doing so well for me, baby,” Sylvain encouraged, quickening the pace of his thrusts of his fingers up into the other. He had formed a dark bruise on the top of Felix’s spine from sucking there, so he glided his lips across his burning skin up his neck. They both still wore their comfortable sweaters, increasing the warmth between them. “Do you want me to make love to you, Felix Hugo?”

Felix’s eyes shot open before closing again, nodding quickly as Sylvain’s fingers were pulled out of him. He gasped at the sensation their absence created, body trembling as gently pushed up on his legs so he’d rise off him. He shuddered as the lube bottle could be heard opening, the liquid making a noise as Sylvain squeezed it onto his weeping erection. The sound of the redhead sighing contentedly while he spread it around make Felix’s heart pound in his chest.

Sylvain slid his hands up under Felix’s knees, powerfully holding him above him while his boyfriend laid back against his chest. “C’mere, baby…”

Felix had to force himself not to slam himself down around Sylvain’s erection, whimpering as the head pressed up inside him and slowly fought against the ring of muscle. He had to keep himself from clenching the back of his knees against the other’s strong hands, making himself take deep, slow breaths to fully relax himself. But he was so _hungry_ for him, _needed_ to feel him inside him and have Sylvain’s cock in his ass all the way down to the base. Feeling his lover hold him up throughout all of his made Felix’s vision go white in his eyes, his entire body on fire the deeper Sylvain got inside him.

“’Vain, p-please,” he moaned, shaking as Sylvain purposefully took his time lowering him down onto his erection. He tried to wiggle down onto it faster, huffing when Sylvain pulled him up to the tip. “_Please_!”

Sylvain chuckled. Felix pretended that Sylvain’s slow affection and methods frustrated him, but he could just about hear his heart pounding from his gentle teasing. He was putty in his hands, the movie they were watching long forgotten on the TV. Felix’s shoulders and back trembled against his own heaving chest, his legs relaxed in his hands as he supported him. The desire to fuck up into him softly, tenderly, _lovingly_ stood out in his mind, but he almost couldn’t wait until after they were done. Lying with Felix on their couch in the comfort of their own home in the afterglow of their love and desire for one another bloomed both physically and mentally was one of Sylvain’s favorite parts of loving Felix.

He ran his nose along the exposed skin just above his sweater, whispering his lover’s name once more.

“I love you, Felix Hugo.” He spoke it as he pressed up inside the other at last, grunting out in pleasure as his cock fully entered him.

“Goddess _fuck_, Sylvain,” Felix moaned out in appreciation, laughing softly as his boyfriend started fucking him. He was able to clench his muscles around the redhead, ripping a growl of approval out of his mouth. “It’s a-about t-time.”

“First we can’t watch this _enthralling_ film and now you want to rush your time with me,” Sylvain joked, grabbing Felix’s legs tighter and slamming him down around his cock. He grinned when Felix screamed out his name and bit down on his bottom lip.

Felix whispered Sylvain’s name and expletives like a prayer as he fucked him. His boyfriend’s breath was hot on his neck, the fabric and elastic of his thong cutting into his skin to make way for his exposed cock. Part of him wanted Sylvain to turn him around so he could kiss him, but their current angle already had him seeing stars.

After their day, after having to deal with Sylvain’s monstrous family and his own uncertain professional future, he was so happy just to be with him. This intimacy was needed for both of them to calm the pain that had festered in their hearts.

Felix could feel Sylvain’s arms growing tired, trembling slightly the harder Felix gripped him. He reached around and cupped his cheeks with his hands, running his pinky fingers over his cheekbones. “Let me face you, my love.”

Sylvain gently brought him down, his arms shaking from holding Felix up. The younger man smiled and achingly slid off his cock, turning around and straddling his waist. Felix fretfully kissed him, pressed his tongue into his mouth as though he needed it to breathe. His hands wove their way into his red locks, pulling tenderly while he stayed latched onto his boyfriend’s lips.

“Ahh—haan—_oh_, Syl,” he breathed out, nearly melting into his chest as Sylvain reached down to guide his cock back into his ass. He keened out as it pressed into his muscle, the emptiness once again being lovingly filled. Felix took over driving it in and out of himself, bouncing on Sylvain’s lap quickly. The slick sounds of their skin slapping together filled his ears, delicious and fulfilling alongside their moans in tandem. Sylvain wrapped his arms around his back and gripped his hips, his louder noises making Felix feel like he was about to burst. “I’m not g-going to last if you keep that up,” he chuckled, his cock rubbing up against Sylvain’s stomach.

“I want you to cum all over me, baby, cum because I fucked you so well,” Sylvain whispered in reply, biting down onto Felix’s bottom lip and sucking it wildly. Felix felt his eyes roll back into his head in pleasure, slamming down harder on his cock and clenching his muscles.

“Fuck, fuck fu—uck, fuck me, Syl,” Felix pleaded, burying his nose in his neck and grunting pitifully against his skin. “R-right there…”

Felix glanced down at Sylvain’s face, red from the warmth of his sweater and Felix’s ass clenching his cock. He wanted this moment between them to last forever, one where Sylvain’s mind wasn’t on his nightmarish past or family. Where they could be truly at ease and in love with each other, providing the other with both physical and mental intimacy. Felix knew he himself wasn’t perfect and had enough emotional baggage of his own, but he’d go to the ends of the earth to make sure Sylvain was happy. The biggest light in his otherwise dark world; what with his own tense work situation, the leering presence of his ex in his mind despite no longer being with him, that’s what Sylvain was. He’d begun to pull Felix out of the seemingly never ending abyss that he’d fallen into, and Felix wanted him by his side always, even after that recovery was finished.

Felix tightly hugged Sylvain around his neck, blinking quickly as he tried to will away the emotional tears that had formed in his eyes. He panted and strained as his boyfriend grabbed his hips in warning, a deep growl rattling his chest.

“Felix…” Sylvain gripped him tightly and lightly bit into his neck. “I’m about to cum… You’re so _fucking_ beautiful, Fe, I want to fill you up so bad...” His breath was hot against the neckline of Felix’s sweater, each word like the flicker of a flame. “Ahhhn—_Felix_—I’m—”

Felix clenched his muscles as tightly as he could around Sylvain’s erection, slamming his hips wildly down on him. He could feel his cock twitching and pulsing into him as he came, the desperate, aching moaning coming from his lover hurtling him towards his own orgasm. He begged for him to touch him, letting his head fall back When Sylvain’s hand came to caress his nipple and palm his cock. An overwhelming wave of emotion hit him at the contact, heat starting in Felix’s toes and going all the way up to his scalp.

Felix held on to his lover, his Sylvain, arms still clutching him as though he never planned on letting go. He knew if he looked at him he’d probably cry, and crying during sex was something he promised himself he’d never do again even if they were happy tears. He focused on the man below him, someone who actually loved him, cared about him, and would die before he treated Felix like other men in his life had. Sylvain would never lie to him, wouldn’t hide an entire marriage and family from him or verbally abuse him for his feelings. Nor would he physically threaten him for contact. Felix knew these things Sylvain wouldn’t do were things normal people would never even consider doing to someone, but he’d been hurt too many times to take for granted just how incredible he was.

“Syl—goddess—” A soft, gentle kiss to his lips amidst his thoughts and the contact had Felix spilling over the edge, covering Sylvain’s hand and their sweaters with his release. It was as though the other was reading his mind, slowing the intensity of their love making with a reassuring kiss.

“Fe, baby… you’re crying,” Sylvain whispered, holding a gentle but firm hand on Felix’s shoulder as he began to shake. Felix laughed nervously, reaching up to his face and feeling the tears that had started rolling down his cheeks.

“F-fuck,” he muttered, wiping them away and ashamedly looking away from Sylvain. He continued to sniffle and tear up while his boyfriend reached for a tissue from the box on the coffee table, wiping his hands before linking them at the small of Felix’s back.

“Talk to me, sweetheart,” he said quietly, pressing his forehead against Felix.

“I’m sorry,” Felix rushed, unable to stop himself from thinking back to when he had cried in front of his ex. The scathing, relentless judgment he’d looked at him with popped into Felix’s mind and only made him shake more. It was nothing like the worried, soft expression on Sylvain’s face, his honey colored eyes wide with concern.

“Felix, baby, don’t apologize. Just get it off your chest.” Sylvain ran his cleaner thumb over his cheeks and delicately pressed a kiss to his lips. “You might feel better if you do, my love.”

Felix hugged his arms tightly around Sylvain, letting a long, shaky sigh out. “This world is so rotten. But I have you. We found each other… and no matter how horrific things are, I know you’re here. You’re here and you’re _real_.”

“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart,” Sylvain smiled, nestling his nose down into Felix’s neck. “And that’s my promise to you.” He kissed his skin up to his lips, lingering there with a smile while Felix sniffled. “I promise to love you until the day I die.”

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed! i want to have this little au completed by the end of sylvix week but... we shall see... feel free to follow me on twitter if you want more sin: @setethstiddies


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